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secomgUID: 2762743

26日： Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country？
Newspapers and magazines have no doubt to be the easiest and cheapest media that we can get access to,because you do not even need to buy a television or radio,and there are numerous kinds of them.However,I dare not to say they are the best ways to learn about foreign country.And the reasons are easy to see/find out/obvious.

The most important thing is people may be misled by the newspapers and magazines..Because if people want to look into a country in depth,the dull and dead paper can not give you anything impressive.What people get from words is just a pile of letters,and however vivid the author describes the country,as we usually say"There are a thousand Hamlets in a thousand people's eyes",that is only the reflection of the author's experiences and thoughts,people probably get misconducted from newspapers or magazines.

Furthermore,,the content of newspapers and magazines is quite limited.All the things they held can be seen through at a glance.They are just a few pieces of paper and published maybe a few weeks ago,a few days ago,or at least a few hours ago,and during that time the stories printed on the newspapers and magazines may already become whole new stories.Newspapers are truly helpful if people want to know something about a foreign country,but those are just so far away from to be enough for people really learn about the country,since what people have got are so out of date.

And the feedback of a survey conducted by the ISS shows early in this year illustrates us with great clarity that people who learned about a foreign country from newspaper and magazines were totally attracted by the pictures and the description of the authors,so they took a vacation there.But when they returned home,only 48% of them were satisfied,and we should notice that before their leaving,all of them were dreaming to have a fantastic journey.From the statistics we can figure out that newspapers and magazines are just leisure-time book to show us there are places,cultures and customs around us on this world.But we can not really think we have already know everything just because we have read tons of newspapers and magazines.

AnnneUID: 2819919

Newspapers and magazines have no doubt to be the easiest and cheapest media that we can get(可以省略get） access to,because you（改为we，因为全篇文章的主语人称要一致） do not even need to buy a television or radio,and there are numerous kinds of them（这个有点指代不明，是指TV or radio  还是newspaper？）.However,I dare not to say they are the best ways to learn about foreign country.And the reasons are easy to see/find out/obvious.（obvious是形容词哦~~）

The most important thing is people may be misled by the newspapers and magazines..Because if people want to look into a country in depth,the dull and dead paper can not give you anything impressive.What people get from words is just a pile of letters,and however vivid the author describes the country（这句话,有点不是很通，no matter how vivid the description on the country 会不会好点呢？愚见愚见）as we usually say"There are a thousand Hamlets in a thousand people's eyes",that is only the reflection of the author's experiences and thoughts,people probably get misconducted（这个词用得不妥，换换吧，你说misleading会不会好点？) from newspapers or magazines.

Furthermore,,the content of newspapers and magazines is quite limited.All the things they held can be seen through at a glance.They are just a few pieces of paper and published maybe a few weeks ago,a few days ago,or at least a few hours ago,and during that time the stories printed on the newspapers and magazines may already become whole new stories.Newspapers are truly helpful if people want to know something about a foreign country,but those are just so far away from to be enough for people really(to) learn about the country,since what people have got are so out of date.

And the feedback of a survey conducted by the ISS shows early in this year illustrates us with great clarity that people who learned about a foreign country from newspaper and magazines were totally attracted by the pictures and the description of the authors,so they took a vacation there.But when they returned home,only 48% of them were satisfied,and we should notice that before their leaving,all of them were dreaming to have a fantastic journey.From the statistics we can figure out that newspapers and magazines are just leisure-time book to show us there are places,cultures and customs around us on this world(of the world 就好了）.But we can not really think we have already know everything just because we have read tons of newspapers and magazines.

加上一个总结段吧，想想你可能是不够时间吧
上面的论证缺少论据，因此显得有点空洞
当说那个报纸和杂志不是最好的方法， 那么最好的方法是什么呢？列举你认为的好方法，会不会比只写disadvantages好点呢？
还有一点语法和用词的错误  可以把你的文章放到word文档去检查一下
加油啦~~~

执着的丸子UID: 2626299

不好意思，我本来想传个word版，但是网络有问题，只能粘上来了，今天网络一直不好，所以发晚了，见谅
Newspapers and magazines have no doubt to be the easiest and cheapest media that we can get access to,because(this is because, please check the usage of “because”) you do not even need to buy a television or radio,and there are numerous kinds of them(the indication of “them” is not clear~).However,I dare not to say they are the best ways to learn about foreign country(a country or countries).And the reasons are easy to see/find out/obvious.

The most important thing is people may be misled by the newspapers and magazines..(more than more full stop)Because if people want to look into a country in depth,the dull and dead paper(s) can not give you anything impressive.What people get from words is just a pile of letters,and however vivid the author describes the country,as we usually say"There are a thousand Hamlets in a thousand people's eyes"(this sentence is really good!!),that is only the reflection of the author's experiences and thoughts,people probably get misconducted(this word is not appropriate to show your idea) from newspapers or magazines.(This long sentence should be separated into several short ones. Too long a sentence can be very confusing)

Furthermore,,(two commas)the content of newspapers and magazines is quite limited.All the things they held(hold) can be seen through at a glance.They are just a few pieces of paper and published maybe a few weeks ago,a few days ago,or at least a few hours ago,and during that time the stories printed on the newspapers and magazines may already become whole new stories.(what is the goal of this sentence? This one seems contradictory with the theme of this section) Newspapers are truly helpful if people want to know something about a foreign country,but those are just so far away from to be enough for people really learn about the country(enough for people to learn about a country well),since what people have got are so out of date.

And(Moreover,) the feedback of a survey conducted by the ISS shows(shown) early in this year illustrates(ed) us with great clarity that people who (had) learned about a foreign country from newspaper and magazines were totally attracted by the pictures and the description of the authors,so they took a vacation there.But when they returned home,only 48% of them were satisfied,and we should notice that before their leaving(they left),all of them were dreaming to have a fantastic journey.From the statistics we can figure out that newspapers and magazines are just leisure-time book(publications) to show us there are places,cultures and customs around us on this world.But we can not really think we have already know everything just because we have read tons of newspapers and magazines.

Comments:
1.        There should be a blank after each punctuation.
2.        Pay attention to the grammar
3.        You need a better conclusion section.
4.        If I made any wrong correction, please ignore that~

secomgUID: 2762743

2# Annne 语法我就无能为力了，实在是死穴~~谢谢~

secomgUID: 2762743

3# 执着的丸子 没事~谢谢给我看作文~~~

secomgUID: 2762743

独立写作.doc (16 KB, 下载次数: 2)

2010-8-28 22:39:19 上传

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secomgUID: 2762743

哇咔咔~~我也能传附件了~欧也~~