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我想用下面这段文字(from Economist)说明以下几点:
1 长短句搭配,创造句子节奏感
2 句式(倒装+插入)灵活,避免单调
3 Transitions适当运用,助力读者理解
4 其它
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“Nor would outsiders be impressed. Donors, who were relatively slow to respond at first, have now pledged over $815m to Pakistan. Much more will be needed. Thoughtless (or cynical) officials are saying they will cut development spending to pay for reconstruction, though other bits of the bloated state apparatus should be chopped first. In any case the officials will struggle to enact a complex rehabilitation programme. Yet those made destitute need to be put back on their feet as quickly as possible, not least to deny the Taliban and their allies—who this week carried out three attacks in a single day—more supplies of willing and hungry recruits. “
The floods in Pakistan
http://www.economist.com/node/16889663?story_id=16889663&fsrc=nwl
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(1)Nor would outsiders be impressed. (2)Donors, who were relatively slow to respond at first, have now pledged over $815m to Pakistan. (3)Much more will be needed. (4)Thoughtless (or cynical) officials are saying they will cut development spending to pay for reconstruction, though other bits of the bloated state apparatus should be chopped first. (5)In any case the officials will struggle to enact a complex rehabilitation programme. (6)Yet those made destitute need to be put back on their feet as quickly as possible, not least to deny the Taliban and their allies—who this week carried out three attacks in a single day—more supplies of willing and hungry recruits. “
1 长短句运用:In this paragraph, there are six sentences in total, three in short length and three long. This structure presents readers a sense of rhythm, essential to attract attentions of the readers. ETS Raters, the readers of our essays, might anticipate to review paragraph of this kind, since they mentioned in the Independent Writing Writing Rubric that an essay should demonstrate syntactic variety. From this point of view, test-takers should master short-long skills. In other words, the MOST significant sentences are written in short form, while the LEAST ones long.
2 句式:第(1)句为倒装句,第(6)为插入语。当然好的文章并不是很依赖这种刻意句式。
in a recovered condition (as from illness) <back on my feet>
3 transitions: 第(3)句more,第(4)句though,第(5)句in any case,第(6)句yet/not least to/more。上面例举的transitions可以帮助writer表明态度及逻辑思维发展顺序。忌讳一堆中文式英语,营造一种假象--“今天感觉超好,写了500+,高分可望”,而真像呢—老美可能不清楚上下句逻辑关系。
4
4.1合理使用限定词:第(2)句relatively,第(6)句as soon as possible/in a single day。这些限定词可以使表达更accurate, persuasive, and even impressive。
4.2 Appropriate Choice of Words:
--pledge over<>guarantee/promise
--cut development spending<>give less money
--struggle to enact a complex rehabiliation programme<>try to make a complex programme of rehabiliation
--be put back on their feet<>be covered from serious situation
--deny the Taliban<>fight against the Taliban |