作文贴

asamsunUID: 2884772

09.06.12NA   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should not take part-time jobs while they are studying in universities.5
e+ g- C. ]) h'0 [+ x"S
Nowadays, a large number of college students choose to find a part-time job in their leisure time. Some people hold that it has bad effect for teenager students to use their leisure time to work other than relax. On the contrary, others share the belief that the earlier they acquaint themselves with the society, the better they plan their time in college. As far as I concerned, Taking part-time job does far more good than harm to students who are still studying in universities.

First of all, students can broaden the horizon by taking part-time job. As we know, it is significant for students to transform what they have learned in theory into application. Consequently, taking part-time job provide them a good opportunity to do it. Furthermore, they can gain numerous valuable experiences. For instance, when you work with your colleague, you will get use to know the true meaning of responsibility and teamwork which is indispensible for their further career development.

Secondly, they can get several benefits not only materially but also mentally from taking part-time job. On one hand, they will obtain some wages at the end of the work, which will definitely alleviate their parents’ economical burden. On the other hand, when excellent job do they accomplish, they will also receive praise from their manager. At the same time, the sense of achievement and sense of horror arise spontaneously from their heart, which will helpful for increase students’ confidence.

In addition, some minor disadvantage to taking a part-time job for students who still learning include both a lack of rest and distraction. For instance, some students can not well balance the studying and working. They will have little time to get enough rest which is essential for their health linked with absent-minded in studying. As time passed, it will cause negative effect on them both physically and psychologically.

Although I agree that there may be a couple of drawbacks to taking part-time job for college students, I feel that the advantages are more obvious. They will attain all kinds of social knowledge and experience what they can not learn from book. Only by taking part-time job can they better prepare for step into the society in the future.

执着的丸子UID: 2626299

改好了，写的真好！

asamsunUID: 2884772

谢谢丸子同学，互相学习~

cqx83UID: 2671579

改好了，互相学习~~

asamsunUID: 2884772

When ask about whether children should make their own decision, the overwhelming majority would support that only with the aid of their parents can children make a right decision that better promote their growth. However, others take the opposite attitude and assume that it is beneficial to foster children’s ability of independent thinking by make decision by their own. From my point of view, I am inclined to the idea that children should make decision after considering their parents’ suggestion. Among countless factors which contribute to my position are the following conspicuous one.
First of all, children are not mature both physically and psychologically, while their parent have been though various things during their lifetime so that they can penetrate into essence of problem with all things considered and assist children to make a more rational plan which definitely correct. Take my experience for granted. When I was graduate form senior school, I was confused to choose which specialty as my major. The only factor I concentrated is my interest and ignored some significant elements, such as my capacity and future career. At last, my father mentioned me and helped me make a sensible decision.
Secondly, children can gradually learn how to make decisions that is conducive for themselves by taking advices from their parents in early stage. It is no need to deny the truth that some knowledge can not get from books but society. Children enrich their knowledge mostly by learning form textbooks. In contrast, their parents are affluent in social experiences which are magnitude for children to make wise decisions.
Admittedly, there are some minor disadvantages for children’s development of making decision with assistant form their parents. It may pose negative impact on building up children’s conscious of self-independent. Some kids might so heavily rely on their parents that can not format their own ideas.
Take above mentioned into consideration. I therefore would prefer to make decisions with the aids of my parent. Thus, I can effectively avoid some drawbacks in my early age that is obviously crucial to rest of my life.

lefuliangUID: 2527849

5# asamsun

When ask about whether children should make their own decision, the overwhelming majority would support that only with the aid of their parents can children make a right decision that better promote their growth. However, others take the opposite attitude and assume that it is beneficial to foster children’s ability of independent thinking by make decision by their own. From my point of view, I am inclined to the idea that children should make decision after considering their parents’ suggestion. Among countless factors which contribute to my position are the following conspicuous one.

First of all, children are not mature both physically and psychologically, 1while their parent have been though various things during their lifetime so that they can penetrate into essence of problem with all things considered and assist children to make a more rational plan which 2definitely correct. Take my experience for granted. When I was graduate 3form senior school, I was confused to 4choose which specialty as my major. The only factor I concentrated is my interest 5and ignored some significant elements, such as my capacity and future career. At last, my father 6mentioned me and helped me make a sensible decision.

Secondly, children can gradually learn how to make decisions 7that is conducive for themselves by 8taking advices from their parents in early stage. It is no need to deny the truth that some knowledge can not get from books but society. Children enrich their knowledge mostly by learning 9form textbooks. In contrast, their parents are affluent in social experiences which are 10magnitude for children to make wise decisions.

Admittedly, there are some minor disadvantages for children’s development of making decision with assistant 11form their parents. It may pose negative impact on building up children’s conscious of self-independent. Some kids might 12so heavily rely on their parents that can not format their own ideas.

Take above mentioned into consideration. I therefore would prefer to make decisions with the aids of my parent. Thus, I can effectively avoid some drawbacks in my early age 13that is obviously crucial to rest of my life.

1)         1 though or thought? while their parents have been passed through various adventures during their lifetime so that they have an in-depth insight in……with all things considered
2)
which must be definitely…
3)         2 from
4)         3 the sentence seems so strange
5)         4 and I ignored (the subject of “ignored some significant elements” seems not refer to the only factor)
6)         5 mention, not correct word
7)         6 which, the same mistake as 13
8)         7 u can use obtain, acquire, absorb
9)         8 from
10)      9 I can not understand
11)      10from,
exert
12)      11 extremely
13)      12 which

asamsunUID: 2884772

In contemporary society, we are invariably faced with such a question: are stable jobs with relative low wages superior to the insecure jobs that one can get well pay. The overwhelming majority would support that salary is hold the balance during their process of job-seeking. Others, however, take the opposite attitude and assume that works with high steadiness are beneficial for our vocational development. As far as I concern, I am inclined to choose a job that permit me to work for long time. Among countless factors which contribute to my position are the following conspicuous ones.
The major merit of having a secure job with low wages is better development of personal career. No one can familiar with the essential of a vocation unless he/she has done that job for several years. At the same time, a steady job can provide us variety of experience that is definitely significant for future promotion in our vocation. A typical case in point can be best provided by my uncle Wang. When he was youth, he resist an offer from a company that promise to give him high pay and choose to work in a plant with excellent future that merely afford him relatively lower wages. Now, the company he refused was bankrupt, while the plant he selected provided him numerous experiences and promotion that make him feel sense of achieve.
Another equally magnitude function of stable job is offering better working condition and chance. After working at a place for a long time, we will make a large number of friends who share the same interests with us and will give a hand whenever we need them. We will also regard the company as our own family and see our colleagues as our brothers and sisters that will undeniable act as a catalyst to improve our working efficiency. Additionally, the quality of loyalty is highly cherished by our society. Enterprises incline to employ a person who equipped with that quality and willing to afford him essential position that full of opportunity.
Admittedly, there some minor disadvantage of a secure job with lower pay. On one hand, we may live a tough life with money shortage. On the other hand, we may feel boring to working at the same place for a long time especially we meet several obstacles in our works. Nevertheless, jobs with high salary but easy to lost will interrupt our normal life so that lead us to find new jobs continuously that obviously waste our time that we can use to do more meaningful things.Taking into account all these factors, we may reach the conclusion the advantages of steady jobs surpass the minor default.

asamsunUID: 2884772

08.08.08NA   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All university students should take basic science courses, regardless of their field of concentration
Nowadays, the problem of whether every college students, no matter what major they specialize in, should learn fundamental science subjects caused widely concern. The overwhelming majority of people assume that it is definitely beneficial for them to take those classes. Others, however, take the opposite view that it may bring about some side-effect for them, for they will not have enough time to spend on their major works. In my point of view, I incline to the later for several reasons as follow.
Admittedly, basic science courses provide college students with a great number of knowledge which undoubtedly broaden their experience and horizon. At the same time, through learning fundamental courses, students can not only master some useful scientific research methods that can apply to their field of concentration effectively, but also be familiar with the foreland of science that can cultivate their interest to make further investigation.
However, the disadvantages of take basic science subjects outweigh the advantages. One of the most important reasons is that time is limited for college student to study those classes, especially for those aim to find an ideal job after graduation. In other words, university students should use their valuable time focus on their major course linked closely to their future career. Only students expertise in their field of concentration can they put themselves in a favorable place in the job market.
In addition, Using extra hours to have some science lessons which they may feel tedious and boring will also have bad impact on students’ health both physically and mentally. The burdensome major studying has takes up so much of their time that frequently make them feel exhausted. What they badly need is to have a good rest to ease their continuous neural stress. Consequently, college students will resist having such courses at the expense of their cherished leisure time that they can use to do whatever they want.
Take above mentioned into consideration, we can safely make a conclusion that college students do not have to take basic science courses. That time they saved can be utilized to do more meaningful things.

allyvvUID: 2485111

08.08.08NA   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All university students should take basic science courses, regardless of their field of concentration
Nowadays, the problem of whether every college students, no matter what major they specialize in, should learn fundamental science subjects caused widely concern. (Wide adj. ) The overwhelming majority of people assume that it is definitely beneficial for them to take those classes. Others, however, take the opposite view that it may bring about some side-effect for them, for they will not have enough time to spend on their major works. In my point of view, I incline to the later for several reasons as follow (as Follows).
Admittedly, basic science courses provide college students with a great number of knowledge which undoubtedly broaden their experience and horizon. At the same time, through learning fundamental courses, students can not only master some useful scientific research methods that can apply to their field of concentration effectively, but also be familiar with the foreland of science that can cultivate their interest to make further investigation.
However, the disadvantages of take (takING ) basic science subjects outweigh the advantages. One of the most important reasons is that time is limited for college studentS to study those classes, especially for those ( Who ) aim to find an ideal job after graduation. In other words, university students should use their valuable time (To) focus on their major course linked closely to ( Close To )their future career. Only students expertise in their field of concentration can they put themselves in a favorable place in the job market.

In addition, Using extra hours to have some science lessons which they may feel tedious and boring( try Bored) will also have bad impact on students’ health both physically and mentally. The burdensome major studying has takes (taken) up so much of their time that frequently make them feel exhausted. What they badly need is to have a good rest to ease( try release) their continuous neural (delete neural here)stress. Consequently, college students will resist having such courses at the expense of their cherished leisure time that they can use to do whatever they want.
Take above mentioned into consideration, we can safely make a conclusion that college students do not have to take basic science courses. That time they saved can be utilized to do more meaningful things.

总的来说很好～ 30分钟内不查字典写出这样的文章很厉害～
1。亮点字汇很多～词汇变化做得很好
2。句式有变化
3。结构比较新颖，有正面有反面，并推出自己的观点。
4。分论点不重复，很好。specific论据少了点。
ps. 本人水平有限，括号里面修改的内容仅供参考,呵呵。

asamsunUID: 2884772

In contemporary society, rapid promotion of science and technology enables human beings to get anywhere they want on earth, which consequently make the tourism prosper. Some of them argue that more benefits will people receive, if they choose their homeland, other than foreign countries, as the destination for entertainment. Other people, however, take the opposite view about it. As far as I concern the former seems more reasonable as follows.
First and foremost, Make a trip in our own country is relatively convenient and economical. Just image we plan our trip to a foreign country with long distance. It will definitely take much time for us to well prepare for it. Besides, we have to spend a large mount of money on the expensive travelling fee, let alone the cost of room and board. In the contrary, those boring things can be easily fixed or even without consideration in our motherland. In addition, even a person with relatively low salary can afford to have fun in the most of the key point of interest of his homeland.
Secondly, it will undoubtedly increase the economy of our own country via encouraging us have a journey in our motherland. Take my country-- China for instances, which has a great number of beautiful scenery that fascinate tourists all over the world. Large mount of job opportunity are created linked to the tourism prosperity of local place that greatly improve the local people’s living level as well as development of local economy.
Admittedly, travelling outside of the homeland does have some minor advantages. On one hand, it will enhance our understanding between nations to wipe out prejudice against other nations. It also helps for us to get acquaintance to exotic culture, thus, widen our experience and horizon. Nevertheless these merits are outweighed by those of former.
Take above mentioned, we can safely reach to a conclusion that we will gain more benefits which is bring about by travelling our own land.

towntownUID: 2907332

In contemporary society, rapid promotion of science and technology enables human beings to get anywhere they want on earth,  consequently making the tourism prosper.语法中WHICH不指代整个句子Some of them argue that more benefits will people receive, if they choose their homelands, rather than foreign countries,other than是除了的意思 as the destination for entertainment. Other people, however, take the opposite view about it. As far as I concern the former seems more reasonable as follows.
First and foremost, Making a trip in our own country is relatively convenient and economical. Just image we plan our trip to a foreign country with long distance. It will definitely take much time for us to well prepare for it. Besides, we have to spend a large mount of money on the expensive travelling fee, let alone the cost of room and board. In the contrary, those boring things can be easily fixed or even without consideration in our motherland. In addition, even a person with relatively low salary can afford to have fun in the most of the key point of interest of his homeland.这段写的不错。
Secondly, it will undoubtedly increase the economy of our own country via encouraging us to have a journey in our motherland. Take my country-- China for instances, which has a great number of beautiful scenery that fascinates tourists all over the world. Large mount of job opportunities linked to the tourism prosperity of local place are created to greatly improve the local people’s living level as well as development of local economy.用这个例子不如该段主题就用能提高人们的生活水平 感觉用在经济上例子有点支持不足
Admittedly, travelling outside of the homeland does have some minor advantages. On one hand, it will enhance our understanding the relationship between nations to wipe out prejudice against other nations.我觉得加一个relationship要更清楚些不知你觉得怎样It also helps for us to get acquaintance to exotic culture, thus, widening our experience and horizon. Nevertheless these merits are outweighed by those of former. Take above mentioned, we can safely reach to a conclusion that we will gain more benefits which is bring about by travelling our own land.
句式通篇为it will以及一般的主谓宾陈述句，建议可以变点花样

asamsunUID: 2884772

Nowadays, with the great promotion of the society, the people’s life pace are greatly accelerated that lead increase number of person to feel stressful about their lives. The overwhelming majority of people contend the best way for us to get rid of the feeling of anxiety is to stay alone with no one else to bother us. Others including me, however, take the opposite view and assume that several ways, such as have fun with family and friends and visit doctor, may have a better effect to resolve the problem.
Admittedly, spending time alone is one of the best ways to relieve ourselves, especially in the condition that we need calm down ourselves and have to face with something of our own. For instance, some one meet a difficult math problem, he can fix it in a short period. A quiet atmosphere may beneficial for him to deal with it.
Nevertheless, a great number of things can count for the reasons of person’s stress, hence spending time alone does not always useful to help us deal with the feeling of angst, even would exert unfavorable impact on our mental health. Our parents and friend can give us a hand and help us get though those tough things we meet in our daily life. Take me for example, when I was a freshman, I could not acclimate myself to the university life well and had a bad mood about this. My parents continued encouraging me and roommate often give me some useful tips. Now I feel enjoyable about my campus life.
In addition, having a conversation with a psychological doctor is also an effective way to relieve our mental burden. Just image one encounter some misfortunes, for example, one of his/her relatives passed away which may be a big strike for him/her and is not easily to tackle down by other means. In this condition, one receiving some psychological therapies provided by doctor in corresponding field will definitely have a more satisfying result to relieve that issue.
Take above mentioned, we may safely take into conclusion that several methods can be choose to handle the stressful problems we suffer from our daily life besides spending time alone.

S酱UID: 2883188

12# asamsun

Nowadays, with the great promotion of the society, the people’s life pace are greatly accelerated that lead to increase(increasing) number of person(people) to(that) feel stressful about their lives. The overwhelming majority of people contend the best way for us to get rid of the feeling of anxiety is to stay alone with no one else to bother us. Others including me, however, take the opposite view and assume that several ways, such as have fun with family and friends and visit doctor, may have a better effect to resolve the problem（have a better effect on resolving the problem).0 |: }' R' K* T- m: `
Admittedly, spending time alone is one of the best ways to relieve ourselves, especially in the condition that we need to calm down ourselves and have to face with（去掉） something of our own. For instance, if some one meet a difficult math problem, he can fix it in a short period （time）. A quiet atmosphere may be beneficial for him to deal with it.

Nevertheless, a great number of things can count for the reasons of(去掉亦可） person’s stress, hence spending time alone does not always useful to help us deal with the feeling of angst, （but， which 连接词）even would exert unfavorable impact on our mental health. Our parents and friend can give us a hand and help us get though（through） those tough things we meet in our daily life. Take me for example, when I was a freshman, I could not acclimate（accustom，acclimate是服水土） myself to the university life well（去掉） and
had a bad mood about （貌似没这种搭配）this（建议不用and连接，因为是前一句结果么）. My parents continued encouraging me and roommate often give（时态） me some useful tips. Now I feel enjoyable about my campus life.#
@0 p8 O: b0 R0 j

In addition, having a conversation with a psychological doctor is also an effective way to relieve our mental burden. Just image（imaging） one encounter some misfortunes, for example, one of his/her relatives passed away which may be a big strike for him/her and is not easily to tackle down by other means. In this condition, one receiving some psychological therapies provided by doctor in corresponding field will definitely have a more satisfying result to relieve that issue.0 o0 A- F+ F* R9 n$ Y3 N2 q

Take above mentioned, we may safely take into conclusion（貌似没这种搭配） that several methods can be choose to handle the stressful problems we suffer from our daily life besides spending time alone.

1.句子比较多变，句型比较丰富，用词也比较丰富，但是需要注意的地方是语法和用词的准确性。
2.看得出来你挺注意语言和用词的，但是个人觉得不是越花哨越好，比如你长句子很多，但是句子我觉得不够简练，过于长或者有无用的成分，还有就是注意下长短结合；
3.还有就是需要注意语法，语法你错的不少，个人觉得这个是比较基础但是最重要的东西，宁可全写简单句也不要错语法；
4.用词方面要注意，其实简单单词用的好最好了，或者用词，固定搭配先查查再用～

asamsunUID: 2884772

Nowadays, with the promotion of society, advertisement can be easily found in every corner of the earth that also have a far-reaching influence on human beings’ daily life. Some people argue that advertising exert most unfavorable effect on unhealthy eating habits. Others including me, however, take an opposite view and assume that lack of enough time and overpriced food rather than advertising is the most important factors.
Admittedly, people who frequently expose to some fascinate food advertisements are more easily form unhealthy eating habit. Most of them invite several super stars to publicize merits of their products to attract consumers buy them. What worse more is some of them even exaggerate the function of some good for eating to cheat money from common people. Consequently innocent people are misleading and purchase those foods just to satisfy their stomachs.
However, there are two other factors which contribute more to this problem. First, it no denying that people in contemporary society are too concentrated on their work to spare time to cooking for themselves. The overwhelming majority of them choose to pay cash for fast foods which contain high level of fat and sugar. Those junk foods make the eating habits of modern people extremely unhealthy.
Another equally significant element is high charged price of food. On one hand, it is universal that people often willing to buy food with relatively low price and good taste. That is why unhealthy foods are popular among us. On the other hand, healthy foods which are beneficial for us are usually more expensive for common consumers to afford. If food manufacturers produce food with more attention to people’s wholesomeness, there would help people get rid of unhealthy eating habits.
Take mentioned above, we can safely draw the conclusion that it is wise to say lack of enough time and overpriced food rather than advertising lead people to form the unhealthy eating habit.

葛佳UID: 2725332

14# asamsun

Nowadays, with the promotion of society, advertisement can be easily found in every corner of the earth that also have a far-reaching influence on human beings’ daily life. Some people argue that advertising exert most unfavorable effect on unhealthy eating habits. Others including me, however, take an opposite view and assume that lack of enough time and overpriced food rather than advertising is the most important factors. ( x9 R# ?, T6 |+ k) f" Z7 |
Admittedly, people who frequently expose to some fascinate food advertisements are more easily form unhealthy eating habit. Most of them invite several super stars to publicize merits of their products to attract consumers buy them. What worse more is some of them even exaggerate the function of some good for eating to cheat money from common people. Consequently innocent people are misleading and purchase[purchasing] those foods just to satisfy their stomachs.
5 F8 u! a, Y/ F1 eHowever, there are two other factors which contribute more to this problem. First, it no denying [deny]that people in contemporary society are too concentrated on their work to spare time to cooking for themselves. The overwhelming majority of them choose to pay cash for fast foods which contain high level of fat and sugar. Those junk foods make the eating habits of modern people extremely unhealthy.
! F; }1 V7 o2 a! P( z- x6 O% eAnother equally significant element is high charged price of food. On one hand, it is universal that people often willing to buy food with relatively low price and good taste. That is why unhealthy foods are popular among us. On the other hand, healthy foods which are beneficial for us are usually more expensive for common consumers to afford. If food manufacturers produce food with more attention to people’s wholesomeness, there would help people get rid of unhealthy eating habits.& ~5 F4 U# L# b" Y  k
Take mentioned above, we can safely draw the conclusion that it is wise to say lack of enough time and overpriced food rather than advertising lead people to form the unhealthy eating habit

蓝色是加分的地方。 红色是要改正的地方
最后一段有点草率。 可以总结下。
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