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[活动] allthetime主题活动作文本 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-9-6 13:26:43 |显示全部楼层
先从9月7日作文开始

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发表于 2010-9-6 14:32:11 |显示全部楼层
是否同意 parents help determined the future of their children or children allow to make their own choices.

Parents are the first teachers of children and children tend to ask advices from parents. Sometimes parents will make decision for them and consider it is best for children. In my opinion, parents should leave the opportunity to make decision to children themselves since they are the dominator of their future.

Though parents know their children from the time of birth and remember the events before child has own memory, the person who know one best is himself. Some children may always chat with their parents about their feelings and thoughts then parents think they understand their children very well. In fact it is impossible to include every detail. Some inner opinions which are popular among youths and not so much acceptable in adults are concealed for fear of being criticized. What’s more, some children refuse to communicate with their adults and parents have no access to children’s true feeling. Without enough understanding, parents have no method to choose the right future suitable for children. From this view, parents always not get plenty information about children and the decisions they make are certainly not accurate. On the contrary, oneself know the thinking process and the first-hand true feeling then even the tiniest detail will not be missed. The decision made by a child himself is the most suitable since it is gained from founded background.

From the aspect of life span, parents have no possibility to accompany their children for their whole life. Children need to be responsible for them from the beginning. They must learn to make decision for themselves and accept the outcomes of their decisions. This ability needs long period of exercise. Since decisions made in childhood are always not as important as in adulthood, they are the perfect opportunities to learn how to make them. Furthermore, the decision made by oneself always generate less regret when difficulties appear. One call recall that it is his own willing to do something without force from outer environment. It is himself to blame for the situation confronted.

All in all, decision made by oneself is the most suitable and leads to less trouble for children. Parents should not impact their decision on children and leave them freedom to choose.

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发表于 2010-9-6 15:40:34 |显示全部楼层
以上是9月7日作业

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发表于 2010-9-7 18:40:56 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 日落沙发 于 2010-9-7 18:45 编辑

2# allthetime

Parents are the first teachers of children and children tend to ask advices from parents. Sometimes parents will make decision for them and consider it is best for children. In my opinion, parents should leave the opportunity to make decision to children themselves since they are the dominator of their future.

Though parents know their children from the time of birth and remember the events before child has own memory, the person who know one best is himself.
(
觉得这句话很赞!可以驳倒我的一句论证) Some children may always chat with their parents about their feelings and thoughts then parents think they understand their children very well. In fact it is impossible to include every detail. Some inner opinions which are popular among youths and not so much acceptable in adults are concealed for fear of being criticized. What’s more, some children refuse to communicate with their adults and parents have no access to children’s true feeling. Without enough understanding, parents have no method to choose the right future suitable for children. From this view, parents always not get plenty information about children and the decisions they make are certainly not accurate. On the contrary, oneself one know the thinking process and the first-hand true feeling then even the tiniest detail will not be missed. The decision made by a child himself is the most suitable since it is gained from founded background.
^' |" G9 W7 Z3 S3 Q5 w4 d* K) a&

From the aspect of life span, parents have no possibility to accompany their children for their whole life. Children need to be responsible for them from the beginning. They must learn to make decision for themselves and accept the outcomes of their decisions. This ability needs long period of exercise. Since decisions made in childhood are always not as important as in adulthood, they are the perfect opportunities to learn how to make them. Furthermore, the decision made by oneself always generate less regret when difficulties appear. One call recall (recalls) that it is his own willing to do something without force from outer environment. It is himself to blame for the situation confronted. e) f40 m%

All in all, decision made by oneself is the most suitable and leads to less trouble for children. Parents should not impact their decision on children and leave them freedom to choose.


楼主写得不错。
今天有空,就提前改了,觉得我们应该可以分到一组吧。
我的作文链接是:https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1149563&pid=1774339643&page=1&extra=page%3D1
在三楼板凳上。
欢迎回拍!
人心似海,要么用许多东西去填,要么生出许多搅扰来。

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发表于 2010-9-8 09:05:28 |显示全部楼层
Parents are the first teachers of children and children tend to ask advices from parents. Sometimes parents will make decision for them and consider it is best for children.( sometimes decisions made by parents are considered to be the best in their mind, yet not so in the children's mind.) In my opinion, parents should leave the opportunity to make decision to children themselves(good!) since they are the dominator of their future.  O; \, j& i# {9 R  C

Though parents know(accompany) their children from the time of birth, and remember the events before child has his/her own memory, the person who know one best is himself(?). Some children may always (be apt to )chat with their parents about their feelings and thoughts, then parents think that they understand their children very well. In fact it is impossible to include every detail. Some inner opinions which are popular among youths and not so much acceptable in adults are concealed for fear of being criticized(主从句结构在哪?). What’s more, some children refuse to communicate with their adults (a step further)and parents have no access to children’s true feeling. Without enough understanding, parents have no method to choose the right future suitable for children. From this view, parents always not(?) get plenty information about children and the decisions they make are certainly not accurate. On the contrary, oneself know the thinking process and the first-hand true feeling then even the tiniest detail will not be missed. The decision made by a child himself is the most suitable since it is gained from founded background.
   From the aspect of life span, parents have no possibility to accompany their children for their whole life. Children need to be responsible for them from the beginning.(good!) They must learn to make decision for themselves and accept the outcomes of their decisions. This ability needs long period of exercise. Since decisions made in childhood are always not as important as in adulthood, they are the perfect opportunities to learn how to make them. Furthermore, the decision made by oneself always generate less regret when difficulties appear. One call recall that it is his own willing to do something without force from outer environment. It is himself to blame for the situation confronted.
6 N5 B3 g+ D) ^6 m+ M* u8 \- \7 s. o" y2 l: W1 Y2 U) \% g2 X# k) O
All in all,(in conslusion  all in all很口语) (a)decision made (all) by oneself is the most suitable and leads to less trouble for children(him/her).(therefore,) Parents should not impact their decision on children and leave them freedom to choose.
comment:1 this is a very thoughful article, especially the 1st point you made. and the conjunctions are used very well.
2 pay more attention to tiny mistakes.
2 though the 1st point looks good, you don't demonstrate it powerfully. the cause and effct, the construction of sentences are all needed progressing.

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发表于 2010-9-9 21:31:32 |显示全部楼层
9月9日交
2009.9.11NA  agree or disagree it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life。

In more than a century long history of movies, there are plenty of different kinds of films appear. Each movie has its own supporters and critics. Some movies do teach us some lessons while others only lead to a happy hour. In my opinion, movies are always worth appreciating and their value have nothing to do with how much we learn from it about real life.

Movies can be viewed from two aspects, the purpose of the one who makes it and the one who watches it. On the makers’ side, they make films to educate, to memory, to entertain or just to earn fame and money. For the documentaries which record the life of some wild animals, they are the respect shown by editors to the great force of nature and the tough spirit of these creatures. The animals lead a totally different life and follow crueler but real natural laws. Human may not meet the difficulties confronted by the animal so this kind of documentary cannot be categorized as a film which offers lessons about real life. But they are still worth watching. Through the film, we also share the respect of honorable living creatures who make their way through a tough environment. It is another view to treat lives and take a second thought of the meaning of lives.

From another aspect, audiences watch movies for different reasons. For boyfriend and girlfriend, watching a movie together is a wonderful opportunity to know about each other and communicate much more. For them, a happy ending film is suitable which shows a couple who lead a happy life. Though the real life is not perfect as that in the movie, the two lovers can share an enjoyable period of time. As for me, who uses to think of a film over and over after watching, a film with deep meaning is a torture. I once watched a film about a revolution and experienced low spirit for more than one week. I learnt some historical events which is strange to me before from it indeed, and I also felt sorry and sad for the characters in it for a pretty long time. After that terrible and unforgettable experience, I refused to watch movie targets on history since I watch for fun not for tear.

In conclusion, movies can be used as textbook for life and also a mean to relax or to express one’s feeling. Choosing the suitable one according to one’s purpose is enough since the hidden meaning of a movie is not indispensable.

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发表于 2010-9-9 21:33:16 |显示全部楼层
5# littleecho33

这个all in all我会改的(以前都是用in conclusion 或其他什么,最近才开始用这个词组的)

谢谢

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发表于 2010-9-9 21:33:50 |显示全部楼层
4# 日落沙发

谢谢

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发表于 2010-9-10 00:45:48 |显示全部楼层
allthetime
99日交* c) z7 K* E+ a# B7 r1 j8 y2 X# talld
2009.9.11NA  agree or disagree it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life

7 o6 B; n3 w) i( z/ t/ M( `
' v# k% g; L  ~" t0 e/ u  I) C( k
In more than a century long history of movies, there are plenty of different kinds of films appear. Each movie has its own supporters and critics. Some movies do teach us some lessons while others only lead to a happy hour. In my opinion, movies are always worth appreciating and their values have nothing to do with how much we learn from it about real life.
0 ]! `5 N- f' `- t  B/ A3 A
- t, k1 l' J% L1 ~! s4 b
Movies can be viewed from two aspects, the purpose of the one who makes it and the one who watches it. On the makers’ side, they make films to educate, to memory, to entertain or just to earn fame and money. For the documentaries which record the life of some wild animals, they are the respect shown by editors to the great force of nature and the tough spirit of these creatures. The animals lead a totally different life and follow crueler but real natural laws. Human may not meet the difficulties confronted by the animal. So although this kind of documentary cannot be categorized as a film which offers lessons about real life, they are still worth watching. Through the film, we also share the respect of honorable living creatures that make their way through a the tough environment. It is another view to treat lives and take a second thought of the meaning of lives.
" N% H* `2 u2 j' e3 s
1 F5 d% c) h0 V1 J4 |
From another aspect, audiences watch movies for different reasons. For boyfriend and girlfriend, watching a movie together is a wonderful opportunity to know about each other and communicate much more. For them, a happy ending film is suitable ,(
是不是要加个逗号,表示非限定性定从?) which shows a couple who lead a happy life. Though the real life may be not as perfect as the movie, the two lovers still can share an enjoyable watching period. As for me, who uses to think of a film over and over after watching, a film with deep meaning is a torture. I once watched a film about a revolution and experienced low spirit for more than one week. I learnt some historical events which were strange to me before from it indeed(不确定这个表达方法是否正确,只是觉得奇怪), and I also felt sorry and sad for the characters in it for a pretty long time. After that terrible and unforgettable experience, I refused to watch movie targets on history since I watch for fun not for tear.9 U# e; g0 S+ f: A* R
! Z4 v( T7 \+ I+ }6 [3 D
In conclusion, movies can be used as textbook for life and also a mean to relax or to express one’s feeling. Choosing the suitable one according to one’s purpose is enough since the hidden meaning of a movie is not indispensable

佳作,佩服
楼主能传达一下如何写出这么native的句子吗?

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发表于 2010-9-11 20:03:11 |显示全部楼层
9月11日交
2009.9.19 NA   Government should more support art museum and music performance than recreational facilities, such as swimming pool or play ground.

Rapid economic development free human from struggling for basic physiology needs and provide us opportunity to gain richer spirit life. Art is the main subject which enrich our environment and makes life colourful. In my opinion, government should support more art forms than recreational facilities.

Art is such a complex and personal thing and everyone has own different interests. Some art forms are welcomed and popular while others tend to be abandoned and forgotten. Those artists who have not enough audience may give up their innate dream and force themselves to follow the popular style. Those who stick on their own thought lead a sad and poor life to the end. Many great artists suffer from the misfortune, Von Gogh, to name a few.  It is such a loss to art and it is time for government to support them. Government should build museums to display all kinds of artworks and allocate fair opportunities to artists with distinguished styles to demonstrate themselves. Only the government have the plenty budget to cover the numerous fees to build a museum and get enough land for such a huge building without so much difficulties. What’s more, it is also the responsibility of government to educate its people with artistic concept and improve the average level of cultivation.

Someone argues that private money owned by enterprises and millionaires are also available for artists such as salon organized by aristocrats in medieval times. The salons do support some artists while the amount of them is too few .Only budget from government can support enough number of artists.

As to swimming pools and other recreational facilities, they are profitable item themselves and attracting plenty of investment. Though the building cost is huge, it can be paid back quickly. Consumers spend large amount of money on exercising and shopping which make them profitable and attractive. There is no need for government to build them and private enterprises are always longing for establishing these kinds of money earner.

In conclusion, the function of government to support art and artists by building museums and organizing performance is irreplaceable. Recreational facilities can be left to private investment.

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发表于 2010-9-13 20:12:52 |显示全部楼层
改好了啊 好了

9.11.doc

26 KB, 下载次数: 3

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发表于 2010-9-14 17:57:03 |显示全部楼层
9月14日交
2009.9 25NA do you agree or disagree: having jobs with low paying salary and being high secure is better than jobs with high salary but being easy to lose.

Everyone needs to earn adequate money to support oneself all life time. The salary and security make the two important factors to evaluate a job and affect job choice. While the perfect job with large amount of money and high security is not easy to find, one has to sacrifice one thing for another. As far as I concerned, a job with high salary and low secure is better than an adverse one.

Jobs with high wage is always challenging and demanding, such as senior manager, dean, you name it. The abilities to decide, to judge, to allocate, to balance and to compromise are all necessary. While they are responsible to the development of the whole company or an important section, lots of attention is attracted by their performance. The much higher level of employer will supervise you for your work and decision, the peers of you always think of getting your position and your employees care about the profit or harm brought by your plan and solution. Since so many people pay attention to you, a small mistake will be detected and sometimes amplified. Your job is always at risk. Certainly, your salary matches your responsibility and pressure to do well. High salary motivates you to perform well and get agreement from others. You must try your best to inform others that your ability matches the salary you get. This kind of work is positive and encouraging, always help one fulfill one’s potential.

On the contrary, the combination of low salary and high secure has bad effect on one’s ambition and spirit. Low salary attracts less attention from others, so it is noncompetitive. Without the pressure of losing it, the one who has job does nothing to protect it. As a result, no effort is involved. Even the one who has ambition in achieving something special in this kind of simple and common work in beginning will lose his dream. There is no need for one to spare effort in something that no body cares. This thought totally ruins one’s desire to do well in such a job. In addition, this kind of job always evolves repeat simple work and no innovation. One spends his time working like a machine so it is also a torture to one’s mind.

In conclusion, work with high salary and low secure inspire one to achieve better future and form confidence while the adverse job deprives one’s dream and ambition and leave a boring life. To choose a job which pushes you to dig out your potential and ability is the perfect way to lead a meaningful life.

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发表于 2010-9-16 16:32:39 |显示全部楼层
月14日交+ Q9 P4 H/ C% ~/ s7 G' m8 Z
2009.9 25NA do you agree or disagree: having jobs with low paying salary and being high secure is better than jobs with high salary but being easy to lose.7 M' L& B' k# j2 x, s! D
" ]: q, l, g/ W6 J  F
Everyone needs to earn adequate money to support oneself all life time. The salary and security make the two important factors to evaluate a job and affect job choice. While the perfect job with large amount of money and high security is not easy to find, one has to sacrifice one thing for another. As far as I concerned, a job with high salary and low secure is better than an adverse one.
Jobs with high wage is always challenging and demanding, such as senior manager, dean, you name it. The abilities to decide, to judge, to allocate, to balance and to compromise are all necessary. While they are responsible to the development of the whole company or an important section, lots of attention is attracted by their performance. The much higher level of employer will supervise you for your work and decision, the peers of you always think of getting your position and your employees care about the profit or harm brought by your plan and solution. Since so many people pay attention to you, a small mistake will be detected and sometimes amplified. Your job is always at risk. Certainly, your salary matches your responsibility and pressure to do well. High salary motivates you to perform well and get agreement from others. You must try your best to inform others that your ability matches the salary you get. This kind of work is positive and encouraging, always help one fulfill one’s potential.

On the contrary, the combination of low salary and high secure has bad effect on one’s ambition and spirit. Low salary attracts less attention from others, so it is noncompetitive. Without the pressure of losing it, the one who has job does nothing to protect it. As a result, no effort is involved. Even the one who has ambition in achieving something special in this kind of simple and common work in beginning will lose his dream. There is no need for one to spare effort in something that no body cares. This thought totally ruins one’s desire to do well in such a job. In addition, this kind of job always evolves repeat (reapeaing)simple work and no innovation. One spends his time working like a machine so it is also a torture to one’s mind.
IN conclusion, work with high salary and low secure inspire one to achieve better future and form confidence while the adverse job deprives one’s dream and ambition and leave a boring life. To choose a job which pushes you to dig out your potential and ability is the perfect way to lead a meaningful life.

我觉得写得挺好的,不过就是关于论述high salary but low salary 的好处时,觉得没多大点出它的好处,感觉多数像在写它的压力大。。建议延伸到动力上,引用些例子更好

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发表于 2010-9-20 14:08:25 |显示全部楼层
Everyone needs to earn adequate money to support oneself all life time. The salary and security make the two important factors to evaluate a job and affect job choice. While the perfect job with large amount of money and high security is not easy to find, one has to sacrifice one thing for the other. As far as I am concerned, a job with high salary and low secure is better than the adverse one.

Jobs with high wage is always challenging and demanding, such as senior manager, dean, you name it. The abilities to decide, to judge, to allocate, to balance and to compromise are all necessary. While people are responsible to the development of the whole company or an important section, lots of attention is attracted by their performance. The much higher level of employer will supervise you for your work and decision, the peers of you always think of getting your position and your employees care about the profit or harm brought by your plan and solution. Since so many people pay attention to you, a small mistake will be detected and sometimes amplified. Your job is always at risk. Certainly, your salary matches your responsibility and pressure to do well. High salary motivates you to perform well and get agreement from others. You must try your best to inform others that your ability matches the salary you get. This kind of work is positive and encouraging, always help one fulfill one’s potential.

[# L4 |  v$ b$ ~5 S2 k
On the contrary, the combination of low salary and high secure has bad effect on one’s ambition and spirit. Low salary attracts less attention from others, so it is noncompetitive. Without the pressure of losing it, the one who has job does nothing to protect it. As a result, no effort is involved. Even the one who has ambition in achieving something special in this kind of simple and common work in beginning will lose his dream. There is no need for one to spare effort in something that no body cares. This thought totally ruins one’s desire to do well in such a job. In addition, this kind of job always evolves repeat simple work and no innovation. One spends his time working like a machine so it is also a torture to one’s mind. 9 Z: F6 z# K5 U! X# f4 t! Q( q  C

In conclusion, work with high salary and low secure inspires one to achieve better future and form confidence while the adverse job deprives one’s dream and ambition and leave a boring life. To choose a job which pushes you to dig out your potential and ability is the perfect way to lead a meaningful life.

楼主的语言用词句式上不存在太多问题,但是总体感觉论证每个观点的思路不是很清晰。比如第二自然段,让人读起来费解。主题句是什么,后面的内容是在论证主题句吗?是challenging 还是 demanding,感觉要表达的意思都杂糅在一起。另外不定代词的适用,they, it,注意有些指代不明确。

不过以上仅是我个人观点,有则改之,无则加勉吧。希望逻辑上加强,继续努力

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RE: allthetime主题活动作文本 [修改]

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