小弟的第二篇作文，希望各位大侠帮帮忙啊

owenlu1989UID: 2899658

Some people think old buildings should be destroyed and replaced with modern buildings. Do you agree or disagree?

There are a host of old structures in cities today. Whether they should be demolished is a controversial issue. Some people argue that these old structures should be substituted by the modern structures for its insecurity and the deterioration of the cityscape. However, others hold a contrary point that discarding these old structures is a waste of historical value.

Obviously, it is deniable that old buildings may lack of security after a long time of erosion caused by the intensive winds and heavy raining; therefore, the natural catastrophes, for example, earthquake or typhoon, will be more likely to break them down as a result of deterring to individual’s life. Furthermore, the old buildings are generally thought to be a worm when people cast his eyes on the cityscape. In other words, they may spoil the cityscape for their inaesthetic exterior and unreasonable location.

However, some people confront the problem in another angle. They commonly think that there are numerous structures that represent the historical events. If people remove this kind of buildings, the memory of the history will be vanished forever, so is the essential spirit of a city. In addition, it is a fact that some of the old buildings, such as the White House and the Forbidden City, have been well conserved and they are with extraordinary feathers that people from all over the world could not help appreciating them past and present. And that is what requires these old buildings to be existed.

In all, some unstable and decrepit old structures should be abandoned in order to avoid impeding the process of city development and beautify the cityscape. At the same time, it is our obligation to effectively preserve those historical and gorgeous structures, which make the culture of city integrated. After these implements of improvement and conservation, will our city be increasingly eminent.

67169619UID: 2320695

词语，句子，结构很不错了
但看完后我想问一句：what's your point？and the support？

owenlu1989UID: 2899658

2# 67169619

不知道是不是我的表达不够清晰，my point is destorying the useless old building but preserving the valuable ones.希望你能帮我指点指点啊

eweUID: 2891191

首先, 2 3段的观点和结论之间有一个逻辑跳跃.... 需要解释你怎么从2 3 得到4的结论的....

然后,一些表达比较不顺, 或逻辑错误, 比如:
for its insecurity and the deterioration of the cityscape

Obviously, it is deniable that old buildings may lack of security after a long time of erosion caused by the intensive winds and heavy raining;

Furthermore, the old buildings are generally thought to be a worm when people cast his eyes on the cityscape. In other words, they may spoil the cityscape for their inaesthetic exterior and unreasonable location.

...

重返蓝天UID: 2896290

well, I think the article is good.