issue16

ilikeappleUID: 135385

忽然惊觉时间不多了（如果考试时间不改），还没看完题库呢，晕。好几天没动笔了，今天写这篇东东又超时了，真FT。大家帮我看看吧，写得挺累，没有那种一气呵成的感觉，估计效果不会怎么样 ：（

行为类：
Although many people think that the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life are entirely harmless, they in fact, prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.


syllabus:
1，生活的便利不但会带来自由，也会对人们的独立性有一定副作用
2，便利使工作上更少依赖（soho一族）
3，提供更多休闲时间以及便利工具让人们从事自己喜欢的活动（旅游）
4，过度依赖现代便利的生活也会造成异化，失去独立性（懒散，生理心理的疾病），
5，总结。关键在于理智的看待现代生活带来的便利

After the Industry Revolution, one that gave rise to the rapid development of science and technology and therefore more convenience and luxury to people, the contemporaries are enjoying much more freedom and therefore becoming stronger and more independent than their peers in previous times. On the other hand, they also face the challenge of being over-reliant on such life so that their independence is threatened.

As we can see, convenience and luxury brought about by the advancement of science and technology has relieved people, in much sense, from their conventional bondage with jobs and thus become more independent. SOHO, short for Small Office and Home Office, is a new word becoming popular in the modern times. As it demonstrates, one can work at home, without taking bus or car or any other transportation to an office building which is possibly located long away from his home. That could not be realized without the invention of computer, Internet, and their popularization. Nowadays, an editor can cut a film right in his home, with a computer installed with a program called Premiere. For a chip designer, he can even make a chip in his computer on weekend, which might have had to takes several workers long time of complex and cooperative work to finish before. Therefore, with the development of science and technology, people do not need to be confined to the traditional way of working. They can work at home or work as a freelance as long as they like it and have the technological "tools" available.

Also, with the convenient facilities such as cars and electric appliances becoming popular, people can enjoy more leisure time and go in for what they are interested in. Before the time when the public transportation is so advanced that an individual in America can reach China, the other hemisphere of the Earth, within several hours, people are generally confined to their local places when taking journeys, considering the big cost of time and money and also the shortage of transportation. However, nowadays, with the result of the increasing efficiency made possible by the modern technology, people have more time under their own control; and the advanced transportation system enables them, in principle, to go wherever they want. Thus, on weekends, they can enjoy family camping on outskirts by car; while on longer holidays, they can take as overseas journey by plane. Generally, people can spend more time on what they like. The true nature of Human Being is, in some sense, "realized" by the convenience and luxury of modern life.

Admittedly, however, many people nowadays are over-reliant on the convenience and luxury so that they are becoming weaker both physically and mentally. It has been blamed that the young have spent too much time on computers and home entertainment such as watching television, with the consequence that less time can be spared to physical exercise. As some recent statistics illustrate, a growing number of young people have seen a tendency of decline of healthy conditions, compared with their peers several decades ago. What's more, they seem to become weaker when facing difficulty and defeats, as demonstrated by the more psychological problems occurring in the contemporaries.

On balance, the convenient and luxury modern life could help to "emancipate" human being from lots of bondages, providing infinite possibilities for the individuals to enjoy what they like; meanwhile, it also pose threat to the contemporaries if over reliance on such life style takes up. Hopefully, a sensible and insightful attitude to the life style could reduce the negative influence to the least and what we can do now is not to scold the convenience or luxury o f modern life, but to treat it adequately.

happyman2000UID: 136936

After the Industry Revolution, one that gave rise to the rapid development of science and technology and therefore more convenience and luxury to people, the contemporaries are enjoying much more freedom and therefore becoming stronger and more independent than their peers in previous times. On the other hand, they also face the challenge of being over-reliant on such life so that their independence is threatened. 独立性既增强又受到威胁，这种说法只存在于马克思的辩证法中，强调逻辑性的美国人可能会觉得你思维混乱。我建议你具体地指出在哪些方面独立性增强，在哪些方面独立性受到威胁， 并且指出总的趋势是什么。

As we can see, convenience and luxury brought about by the advancement of science and technology has relieved people, in much sense, from their conventional bondage with jobs and thus become more independent. SOHO, short for Small Office and Home Office, is a new word becoming popular in the modern times. As it demonstrates, one can work at home, without taking bus or car or any other transportation to an office building which is possibly located long away from his home. That could not be realized without the invention of computer, Internet, and their popularization. Nowadays, an editor can cut a film right in his home, with a computer installed with a program called Premiere. For a chip designer, he can even make（design吧！在家里能做芯片？） a chip in his computer on weekend, which might have had to takes several workers long time of complex and cooperative work to finish before. Therefore, with the development of science and technology, people do not need to be confined to the traditional way of working. They can work at home or work as a freelance as long as they like it and have the technological "tools" available.如何对待人对计算机的依赖？

Also, with the convenient facilities such as cars and electric appliances becoming popular, people can enjoy more leisure time and go in for what they are interested in. Before the time when the public transportation is so advanced that an individual in America can reach China, the other hemisphere of the Earth, within several hours, people are（were） generally confined to their local places when taking journeys, considering the big cost of time and money and also the shortage of transportation. （我觉得这句话有些绕！）However, nowadays, with the result of the increasing efficiency made possible by the modern technology, people have more time under their own control; and the advanced transportation system enables them, in principle, to go wherever they want. Thus, on weekends, they can enjoy family camping on outskirts by car; while on longer holidays, they can take as overseas journey by plane. Generally, people can spend more time on what they like. The true nature of Human Being is, in some sense, "realized" by the convenience and luxury of modern life.

Admittedly, however, many people nowadays are over-reliant on the convenience and luxury so that they are becoming weaker both physically and mentally. It has been blamed that the young have spent too much time on computers and home entertainment such as watching television, with the consequence that less time can be spared to physical exercise. As some recent statistics illustrate, a growing number of young people have seen a tendency of decline of (in)healthy conditions, compared with their peers several decades ago. What's more, they seem to become weaker when facing difficulty and defeats, as demonstrated by the more psychological problems occurring in the contemporaries.

On balance, the convenient and luxury modern life could help to "emancipate" human being from lots of bondages, providing infinite possibilities for the individuals to enjoy what they like; meanwhile, it also pose(impose吧，pose是摆姿势的意思) threat to the contemporaries if over reliance on such life style takes up. Hopefully, a sensible and insightful attitude to the life style could reduce（relieve好像更合适）the negative influence to the least and what we can do now is not to scold the convenience or luxury o f modern life, but to treat it adequately.
我觉得你的语言能力很强，遣词造句恰到好处，文笔非常流畅。文章结构也比较清楚。但我觉得逻辑性不好，既这样又那样，把正面和反面的理由都举一遍，ets可能觉得你立场不明确，没有自己的独立判断。你可以考虑采用让步分析的方式，承认存在某一方面的问题，然后集中火力论述主流趋势是什么。
另外还可能存在的一个问题是，人对计算机、现代交通工具的依赖是否增强了？人类发明了工具，对自然的依赖大幅减少，人类可以征服更广阔的空间，但又给自己套上了工具的枷锁。如何看待这个问题，我觉得这才是值得深思的。

ilikeappleUID: 135385

谢谢，我一直就喜欢用一种辩证的方法来看问题，也是中国的政治哲学教育的成果，还以为ets所谓的让步也是这样的呢。不过后来想想其实不是，一种是有明确观点的辩证，一种是骑墙的说法。以后我会注意的

还有阿，现在没看到一个作文题，脑子里闪现的首先都是一些空洞的总结性的套话，可是很少有鲜活的例证，有种搜肠刮肚还不讨好的感觉，大家有没有好主意呢？

ilikeappleUID: 135385

对了，忘了说了，pose threat to 是一种固定用法，pose 有 造成 的意思