issue33

red98UID: 136466

033. "Creating an appealing image has become more important in contemporary society than is the reality or truth behind that image."


O; concede that an appealing image is important in today’s society; supporting examples; still disagree that image is over truth
A; the reality puts forward the society
B; overemphasizing image will weaken the importance of the reality of that image which will do harm to our society; today’s student for a good job;
E; conclusion
In the actual response, I did not follow the outline literally.

The speaker contends that creating an appealing image supercedes the reality behind that image and it plays more important role in contemporary society.  I concede that an appealing image does have some advantages in our everyday lives.  Good images of commercial commodities can shorten their distances from customers and enhance the sales; good images of people can enable them to be accepted more easily and give them much more opportunities; good images of countries can earn them more chances to play key roles in international affairs and also help to strengthen themselves.  Beyond this concession, however, I find the speaker’s contention indefensible from both an empirical and a normative standpoint.

The chief reason for my disagreement lies in the empirical proof: it is not the above image but the reality behind it that others really want. Images are doors to the house while realities are the contents in the house. Good images are only accessible doors that appeal people to get in the house and increase the chance of exchanging the content in the house. Once people enter the house, they will scrutinize the contents and determine whether they want to buy them or not. If the reality is just draff, they will refuse it. What people really want are realities, not images.
In fact, our ancients knew that the reality is over the image. A famous Chinese idiomatic expression, which says, “the man spends much only for beautiful box but gives up genuine pearl”, shows it clearly. In ancient China, a person named Zheng made a nice-looking box for his pearl to sell the pearl with box. He asked for a high price. A buyer came and spent much it. Oddly the buyer only took the box and returned the pearl. This story mocks the unwisdom and tells us that we should pay more attention to the reality of the things that we want than the superficial image.
In contemporary employment process, employers pay more attention to the candidates’ realities. Often the candidates have to take lots of tests so the truths of them are exposed to the employers in a great extent. If creating an appealing image is more important than the reality behind the truth, the employers will not bother giving the tests to their future employees.

I disagree with the speaker for another reason as well: if we overemphasize the image of things and ignore the hidden reality, we will do harm to our society. Take companies for example. In order to shape more appealing images, much more money will be poured into advertising and, probably, less will be spent on enhancing the quality of products. As a result, commodity with good images but bad qualities will hurt the feelings of customers. Thus those companies will lose the market.
If we overemphasize images, we will become very careful when we communicate with our friends and other people. To build appealing images, we will conceal our shortcomings as possible as we can. To build appealing images, we also dare not point out others’ mistakes. Little by little, we cannot communicate with others freely. The image we overemphasized will be a barrier separating us. Furthermore, if we spend much more energy in building our images, we will not have enough vigor to study to strengthen our abilities.

To sum up, I find it indefensible the speaker’s suggestion that good images have played more important roles than the hidden reality in daily lives. The suggestion runs contrarily to the overwhelming evidences that what people really want is the reality but not the image. Overemphasizing the importance of images will do harm to our society.
  
605 words

dullheartUID: 134983

this article still conveys a typical Chinese style of thinking. Red98, it's great that you wrote over 600 words in due time. If there's critical thinking in it, it will get a higher score. If i'm to score it, i prefer 4.

dullheartUID: 134983

Doado, could you say sth about the dictionary you recommend? Is it practicable to read through a dictionary when time becomes the biggest problem for a gter? If it's worth it, i'll also go and look for that book. what do you think of Times?  :)

happyman2000UID: 136936

The speaker contends that creating an appealing image supercedes（has superceded） the reality behind that image and it plays(has played a) more important role in contemporary society. I concede that an appealing image does have some advantages in our everyday lives. Good images of commercial(多余，去掉！) commodities can shorten their distances from customers and enhance the sales; good images of people can enable them to be accepted more easily （by others）and give them much more opportunities; good images of countries can earn them more chances to play key roles in international affairs and also help to strengthen themselves. Beyond this concession, however, I find the speaker’s contention indefensible from both an empirical and a normative standpoint.

The chief reason for my disagreement lies in the empirical proof: it is not the above image but the reality behind it that others really want. Images are doors to the house while realities are the contents(我觉得这个词不大好，可以用quality, decoration等具体点的词 ) in the house. Good images are only accessible doors that appeal people to get in the house and increase the chance of exchanging the content in the house. Once people enter the house, they will scrutinize the contents and determine whether they want to buy them or not. If the reality is just draff, they will refuse it. What people really want are realities, not images. 买房子例子很生动，有谁服力！
In fact, our ancients knew that the reality is over（over用得太多了，可以换个更形象词） the image. A famous Chinese idiomatic expression, which says, “the man spends much only for beautiful box but gives up genuine pearl”, shows it clearly. In ancient China, a person named Zheng made a nice-looking box for his pearl to sell the pearl with box. He asked for a high price. A buyer came and spent much （on）it. Oddly the buyer only took the box and returned the pearl. This story mocks the unwisdom and tells us that we should pay more attention to the reality of the things that we want (是否可以删掉多余的话) than the superficial image.
买椟还珠， 挺好的！
In contemporary employment process, employers pay more attention to the candidates’ realities. Often the candidates have to take lots of tests so the truths of them are exposed to the employers in a great（large） extent. If creating an appealing image is more important than the reality behind the truth(指借用reality就行了), the employers will not bother giving the tests to their future employees.（这句话读起来不舒服。但我也不知道问题在哪！）
招聘， 也挺好！
I disagree with the speaker for another reason as well: if we overemphasize the image of things and ignore the hidden reality, we will do harm to our society. Take companies for example. In order to shape more appealing images, much more money will be poured into advertising and, probably, less will be spent on enhancing the quality of products. As a result, commodity with good images but bad qualities will hurt the feelings of customers.（更恰当的说法是增加了消费者的支出，并不一定导致质量下降） Thus those companies will lose the market. 讲商品包装的弊端，但这个例子可以重新组织一下！
If we overemphasize images, we will become very careful when we communicate with our friends and other people. To build appealing images, we will conceal our shortcomings as possible as we can. To build appealing images, we also dare not point out others’ mistakes. Little by little, we cannot communicate with others freely. The image we overemphasized will be a barrier separating us. Furthermore, if we spend much more energy in building our images, we will not have enough vigor（vigor 更多只活力的意思，你要说精力，可以energy,或者干脆用time） to study(多余！) to strengthen our abilities.
过于重视外表，会忽略实质！好！
To sum up, I find it indefensible（这个词语气太弱，好像也并不贴切！） the speaker’s suggestion that good images have played（既然是suggestion,后面应该接should, 已经发生了还建议什么！） more important roles than the hidden reality in daily lives. The suggestion runs contrarily to the overwhelming evidences that what people really want is the reality but not the image. Overemphasizing the importance of images will do harm to our society.

这篇文章以例证为主，例子举得都非常贴切，有说服力。但说理部分显得有些弱，感觉就是在举例子。语言上，文笔比较流畅，但有些话略显多余，有些用词可以再斟酌斟酌。文章结构好像也可以调整一下，显得更有逻辑性。

red98UID: 136466

谢谢 doado, dullheart, happyman2000三位 热心的讨论和辛苦的修改 谢谢

to doado
if..., why will the employers bother giving the tests?)
果然比我的平铺直叙有力量 下次会啦 谢谢
在happyman2000 另外一篇issue中 也充分体会到了问句的力量
再说 反问是修辞 ETS很喜欢的 有加分的可能 （具体要到版主那里验证一下）

介词问题 我得查一下金山

to dullheart
我正努力摆脱中文思维 好像很难 不知道有没有什么好的招式
谢谢你

to happyman2000
从你的修改中受益良多
最鲜明的是 简洁  从你的其他的ISSUE我也感受到了这一点
买椟还珠  我表述得不全对 估计老美看不出的  ：）
“买房子例子很生动”  可能我写得不好 让你误解了  我的意思是 拿 门和房子里的东西 比喻 images 和 realities

还想说得话
这篇中试图用比喻 不知道是否准备  请各位继续讨论指正