ted 的作文贴

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12 技术与进步Has technology made children less creative than they were in the past



It is wildly known that technology has an strong influence on children's life. For example, children could enjoy cartoons through TV and play video games after school. These bring children much fun. However, many people think that technology has passive impact that it has make children less creative than they were in the past without these advanced technology. I totally can not agree with this. In my opinion, technology has made children much more creative than before.


First, advanced technology products like TV or computer have broadened children's horizon and enriched their knowledge reserve. Experiences are very essential to children's ability of creativity. People could not create things without any base. If people have never see flying birds, it must be very hard to imagine what the first plane looked like. When people know more, much more they will be creative because they will relate current situation with something in their mind spontaneously and they seem to be more creative. Children today could learn more from the TV program about our world and society. They could also share their feelings and ideas through the Internet. Thus they are much knowledgeable than children in the past and it is no wonder that they will be more creative.


What's more, technology provides excellent instruments for children to realize their ideas thus improve their creativity. In the past, when children have some ideas, they could not realize them just because there lacks tools. When I was a child, I thought I could make a bike with four wheels just like a car powered by man. But at that time, I can not purchase the materials I need and then I have to give up my dream. And I lost interest to the mechanism gradually. When I grow up, I happened to see a child playing with his handmade four wheels bike. He told me he bought all the materials from the Internet and he is getting to like the mechanism more and more!

In the modern society with the advanced technology, it is easier for children to get inspiration from the advanced products of technology and realize them by these instruments. There is no doubt that they are much more creative than they were in the past.

米爆爆UID: 2892134

第一次改得那么认真阿。o(╯□╰)o~
其实你的例子神马的都很好。但是句式要多变一点
而且词汇的使用能更好一点就不错了
总结和开头都要给点亮点
因为这样会比较吸引考官。

xjf1023UID: 2676396

10.09 独立作文 感谢修改~

xjf1023UID: 2676396

2# 米爆爆 小米同学修改的很仔细啊 TKS~

JohnnyyUID: 2923505

It is wildly known that technology has an strong influence on children's life. For example, children could enjoy cartoons through TV and play video games after school. These bring children much fun. However, many people think that technology has passive impact that it has make children less creative than they were in the past without these advanced technology. I totally can not agree with this. In my opinion, technology has made children much more creative than before.
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First,（Initially,
previously, beforehand, foremost…） advanced technology products like TV or computer have broadened children's horizon and enriched their knowledge reserve. Experiences are very essential to children's ability of creativity. People could not create things without any base. If people have never see flying birds, it must be very hard to imagine what the first plane looked like. When people know more, much more （可以换些同义词，这样是不是有点重复？）they will be creative because they will relate current situation with something in their mind spontaneously这个词好！ and they seem to be more creative. Children today could learn more from the TV program about our world and society. They could also share their feelings and ideas through the Internet. Thus they are much knowledgeable than children in the past and it is no wonder that they will be more creative.

_( k5 @: W4 t+ M连接词能丰富些就好了，
What's more, technology provides excellent instruments for children to realize their ideas thus improve their creativity. In the past, when children have some ideas, they could not realize them just because there lacks tools. When I was a child, I thought I could make a bike with four wheels just like a car powered by man. But at that time, I can not purchase the materials I need and then I have to give up my dream. And I lost interest to the mechanism gradually. When I grow up, I happened to see a child playing with his handmade four wheels bike. He told me he bought all the materials from the Internet and he is getting to like the mechanism more and more!这段的句型有点相似，词也重复了一些，最好能变化变化。
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% {. b, k1 W$ h: N; D+ t) aIn the modern society with the advanced technology, it is easier for children to get inspiration from the advanced products of technology and realize them by these instruments. There is no doubt that they are much more creative than they were in the past.最后有点太仓促了，没有总结中心，最好能把technology在补充一下。而且显的有点无力，你可以用个倒装，比如Only by developing technology，can children 。。。。。。。之类的。
总体比较流畅，看起来蛮清晰的，词语能丰富些就更好了。。


暂时发不了附近呢，可能颜色啥的会有问题，请见谅了，
这改的有点迟到了，事多了最近，以后会尽量及时的

lynn27UID: 2774627

同组的，你的作文在哪里

xjf1023UID: 2676396

6# lynn27 三楼 附件啊

lynn27UID: 2774627

超抱歉的说，我眼拙了。。。没看见。
改完了。 LZ很棒~~~

等LZ回改~~~
10.09.doc (27 KB, 下载次数: 6)

2010-10-10 12:43:31 上传

下载次数: 6

taylor.1023UID: 2713071

抱歉啊。改晚了。8号的独立写作修改在附件中。

xjf1023UID: 2676396

10.11 独立作文一篇
sports teach people lessons about life

phoebeDUID: 2846496

People often do sports for fun. After a whole day's hard working, you(we,不要用第二人称举例，下面同样) might feel exhausted, however, a half hour's table tennis may make you(us) feel refreshed. Actually, there is（are？？） much more we could get from sports such as serious aspects like how should we deal with our bodies and how we deal with(deal with 已经用过啦，用cope with行吗？) other people.
（Actually， we can get a tremendous number of previous lessons from sports. Such lessons as dealing with our bodies and friends have a great significance to which we learn.我这样改行吗？）
Because of heavy pressure（s） from work or study, many young people often work extremely hard without caring about their physical health. They always view youth as exhaustless（好词啊，我学了） source that they could squander on their will. And then some day(s), one of them takes part in a sport, for example a running race. (,)He(he) would find it surprisingly that he is not the person in his mind!（。。。不知怎样评价，但我觉得hardly can he/her finds his/her previous fitness！可能更好） He might run 1500 meters continuously（without a break觉得比continuously好一点点）before, while now he cannot finish 800 meters. He suddenly realized that he must pay for his neglecting of health before. It is a lesson the running tells us that the best way to maintain the level is practicing over and over. We could apply it on our study and other aspects of life. For instance, you(we) must practice a lot so that you could keep skillful in your major. Also you need to contact you(r)（our） friends often in order to keep good relationship with them.

What's(is书面不简写) more, we often learn importance of cooperation from sports. With the high development of modern society, things are getting more complicated than before（ever has been before行吗？强调一下可能会好）. We must rely on the assistance of other people in order to(in order to 好像在前面用过了，建议不要重复。。。) finish a project from work or study. We could learn it（it是指importance吧？中间插了一句，然后再来IT可能会有歧义啊） easily from the basketball game. In a basketball game, it is common sense that five players must work as a team since one person could not defend another team no matter how excellent he is. You might play a particular role in（on??） the court, and when to shoot or pass the ball(the ball 可以去掉吧。。。。我想shoot和pass已经够清楚了，除非你是想说shoot the love。。。。儿童不宜，哈) is the thing（are the things吧？） you should think.

From the discussion above, we could safely draw the conclusion that sports teach us lots of lessons in life. We could learn positive and effective attitude toward life such as practicing often and relying on cooperation.（willpower和cooperation不就行了么？）
总体感觉很好啊，但有时候可以更简洁一点。
我印象很深的是第二段？？？后面的一直没改变主语，保持主语不变是很好的，但不要一直he he he 的，有点变化就会更棒。
我尽我最大努力了。。。希望对你有帮助哈

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15 家庭  Some people think one’s working is more important than being with one’s family. 071020

Work or family, which one weights more? It is a problem every individual have to confront. In modern society, work pressure are much more heavier than ever before. People have to work extremely hard in order to survive in the competition with other workers. So they ignore their family and do not spend any spare time with their family. Actually, home seems to be a motel in his life. In my opinion, I totally disagree with the idea that working is more important than the family. Here are my reasons and supporting examples.



In my opinion, time spent with family is so precious that if it is lost, it will not come back again. Many people are too busy with their work to go visit their parents often. Some of them even do not go to their parents' once a year. They all have perfect excuses: they have to work, they have to meet some very important partners, and so on. Finally, one day their parents pass away, there is no chance for them to go visit their parents again. Guilt will fill up their hearts, but will things go better with the guilt? Apparently, the answer is no.


What is more, there is another important aspect we should be aware of. We need to communicate with our family members often. If we do not spend enough time with our children, parents and wife, we will become unfamiliar with each other. Many of our young adults have the feeling that we are more close to mother because father barely talk with us deeply. And spending time with family is also a good way to get refreshed from exhausting work. Going for a picnic with family might be a good way to escape from the work and enjoy the happiness of life.

From the discussion above, we could safely draw the conclusion that being with family is very valuable. For a more warm and happy life, please share time with your family.