【1121倒计时】作文本- lynn27

lynn27UID：2774627

好吧。
各种错，。。。各种不合适。。。各种表达不正确。。。各种逻辑。。。拜托拜托全挑出来吧。。。

1115

hycqyUID：2819662

加油啊！

lynn27UID：2774627

555555。 谢谢版主咦。。。

S酱UID：2883188

4# lynn27

已改请查收～～～考试加油

lynn27UID：2774627

1116

大组：


小组：

kaolaliangUID：2758807

改好了， 楼主所谓的首段定格 有何出处么？

lynn27UID：2774627

1117

独立：

<在很多年以后终于写了一次字数上500的。>

综合：


==========
写一个作文每次都会写到1,2个小时。 疯了。

嘉木香草UID：2805584

已修改，祝你考试成功！
另外，感觉你好像听力部分没太听出来，所以给你附上了script.希望有帮。不过话说回来，这次的听力确实有些恼火……

cckkll1994UID：2952719

昨天天网络不通了
11.16批改的补上

Visiting museums is the best way to learn about a country.

The statement in the direction is a long-term consideration of many people including me. Many people will (改may或might可能会好一些) argue that visiting museums is the best way to learn about a country. I, however, after thinking about it on many occasions（有点夸张了）, decide to stand up against this view for the following reasons.

The first and the most important reason for my opposing the idea is that knowing（to know） about a country, the more suitable way might be visiting there by our own. Only (if省略了？)we go to a country, understand we（？） the value orientation which their societies advocate and the moral embedded in their minds. （个人感觉这里用倒装会更好Only if we ... would we...或者不用倒装Only if we ... that we would...）Experiencing those things in person, we （could）learn about the country better. Besides, the special food here（there） takes (改为will enable us 好一点吧，总觉得你这种语态怪怪的) us to find out what their taste is and by looking at their clothes, we can know what kind of style they tend to. Accordingly, we can learn a lot of things from those details.

Another reason for my disagreement is that visiting museums, it is hard to know completely what we want to know, （Moreover,it is nearly impossible for us to find everything we need at museums个人觉得这个理由不很充分）because we are not only unfamiliar with it, but also under the circumstance of lacking of a genuine citizen and atmosphere, we are not likely to indulge in such situation. Even though a tourist introduces us carefully (with) the culture of the country, we still can not touch the feeling clearly. On the other hand, knowing a country’s history does not mean we have already had an acquaintance with it, for the sake of that with the development of a country, the state gradually takes off the originally look. Hence, what we are aware of in the museums, in some senses, is out of date, which has a huge gap between ideal and reality.

Therefore, I will conclude by saying that visiting museums is not the best way to learn about a country from the points of view I mentioned above. Also, since the computer comes forth to us, there are so many methods provide us to know about a country.
我总觉得主流的结尾大都是：
    连接词，让步（要不要都行），转折（前提要有让步），条件（就是If we take all the factors that we mentioned......into consideration....），finally做结论，完
感觉这样写有种跌宕起伏的感觉

而且很少有人再在结尾处加个Also再写观点的



当然，个人看法仅供参考


嗯，不会贴附件，所以......

jjooyyUID：2704028

卡卡 加油！ 楼上改的真认真

qiaoshu112UID：2379741

The statement in the direction is a long-term consideration of many people including me. Many people will argue that younger school children which aged five to ten should be required to study art and music in addition to math language, science and history. 这里用will 不大合适Others do not think so. As for me, after thinking about it on many occasions, decide to stand on the former view for the following reasons.

The first and the most important reason for supporting the idea is that at the age of children, they have enough time to learn about music and art in order to benefit both their temperament and development of brain. Temperament is differ from knowledge, because the former one are supposed to be build up when we were kids, but the later one can be learned at any time of people’s life. Also, the temperament is very important for a person. Besides, music helps to open up children’s right brain, which has already been proved in Scientific American, one of the most famous magazines of American. Music and art enable us to stand on a totally different point of view to think with matters, and they, in some sense, help the autistic children becoming happy. Take Mozart for instance, his music have been regarded as the thing can be smarter and sonsy.这个词太生僻了吧，没必要用这种词的。这个例子有点简短不够充分，建议再加几句使得例子看起来饱满点。

Another reason for my supporting is that studying art and music are not only the valuable interest throughout one’s life, but also foster one’s ability. To set the drawing as an example, people who learned it suffers lots of troubles in the course of it. They may fail again and again at the beginning. However, as the time goes by, after accumulating so much experience, they are capable of enough willpower to overcome those difficulties because they learned how to be the people of backbone. That also leads to children’s heart and mind filling with imagination, creativity, and confidence. One who exudes those kinds of quality will be more successful in the future work. EXUDE这个词用的棒Companying with the strength of will, people can do better in dealing with various kinds of problems, which took seriously by company no matter in employment, working, or promoting to a higher position. Thereby, if children train those capabilities early derived from art and music, it can save abundant time when they are busy in the future.

Of course, some advocators contend younger school children should not endure such a pressure as it docks children the pleasures of childhood. However, a close inspection of the argument would real how firmly it is. Music and art are not stressed to them; for the sake of that they will take children to a beautiful spiritual plane, and also urge them generate the nice expectation to life. Consequently, my above examples can conquer all opposes.
偷一个孩子的模板用下…良心不安良心不安…阿弥陀佛…

Therefore, from the discussion above, I can safely conclude by saying that younger school children who aged five to ten should be required to study art and music in addition to math language, science, and history, since those two combined with each other will enable study more efficiently. Enable 和 study两个谓语动词。
  另外，这作文貌似太长了点吧，考试不用写这么多的，并不是文章越长越好关键是把自己的意思表达出来。继续加油，与君共勉。

ttuuttuuUID：2299729

TPO12  
妳的聽力部份  講太少了  這樣要拿到F都有問題
一定要listening部份都講一點喔~不然怎麼叫綜合寫作呢~

lynn27UID：2774627

谢谢组长鼓励^(oo)^

1118
大组

cckkll1994UID：2952719

话说我找不到你11.18的综合写作....