bananaslice-1211的作文帖

bananasliceUID: 2628141

11.13 的作业~！呵呵 狠拍啊！ 1113.doc (21.5 KB, 下载次数: 17)

2010-11-13 21:10:07 上传

下载次数: 17

ct7luteUID: 2777405

我应该还不够级别传附件，就贴这里了。
As it for me (As for me), I would like to choose more vacation time with a lower-payingjob. Although high-paying is alluring, if it takes me to sacrifice my free time(makes me sacrifice…/costs me too much free time),I can hardly accept it.
My first point goes that I think workshould not be the whole of life, I need enough time to do things besides work,That is important, I need time to get along with friend or families, when (I 去掉) hanging out with myfriends, singing KTV or shopping or just talking, I can get totally relax(relaxed) and enjoy a lots (lot)of fun playing jokes with one another. And when I stay with families, watching (watch) TV or clean the apartment together, that'sanother kinds of fun, feeling the warmth of family(主语是that，feeling的主语应该是I,或可改成that's another kind of fun----I can feel the warmth of family). If a job is going to reduce the happiness I associate with friendsand families I would not agree however high-paying it is. (If a job is likely to reduce the happiness I can get fromgathering with friends and families, I would not appreciate it no matter howhigh the paying is.)
My second point is that only vacations longenough can allow me to continue my interests, I mean travel and painting. Ilove painting, I can keep drawing a picture 10 hours without stop, enjoysomething beautiful generate under my pencil is such a exciting affair, so Ihope I have more free time to do it (I love painting. Ican keep drawing a picture 10 hours without stop. Enjoying something beautifulgenerating under my pencil is such an exciting experience that I hope I havemore free time to do it.). What's more, as another interest travel. (Another interest, travel, also requires long vacationtime.) If the vacation is too short, I can't go place too far away fromthe city I live, or I have to travel in a rush which might (make me) miss both many beautiful sceneries and agood mood just because I have to go for work the next day.
Finally, besides emotional needs andinterests, a vacation is a good time to learning (learn)something about my professional skills or (improve)abilities which could help me develop my career, through some lecture relate (related) to my professtion or read (reading) several books talking about advancedtechnology and methodology in the industry I'm in (该句太长，可分成几句写). It is natrual andnormal that when engaged in a busy work one can hardly (to去掉) learn new things. It is difficult to reflect on and comprehend.
In sum, Ithink a longer vacation can bring me far more things than a higher-paying jobcan do.


1、
有一些是语法上的错误，有些是用词不太地道，括号里只是我的建议，不一定很好。提升写作语言可以用这个帖子的方法，蛮好的https://bbs.gter.net/thread-967462-1-1.html
2、三段每段主题句都很清晰，都有细节例子支持。结尾可以再多写一点，用三个短语概括每段段意，比如In sum, I think a longer vacation can bring me more time for gathering with friends and family, practicing my interests and professional improvement, which is far more than a higher-paying job can reach.

bananasliceUID: 2628141

1117作业~！

bananasliceUID: 2628141

1118作业~

bananasliceUID: 2628141

1119作业~:)

cckkll1994UID: 2952719

it is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country because of the lose of old friends
（恩，似乎文章题目是
“搬到新的城市或国家不是令人愉快的事因为你往往会失去很多旧朋友”
  而下文的观点是
“因为很多旧朋友的失去而搬到新的城市或国家不是一个好主意”
  因果关系有点问题）

Sometimes move to a new places might make us feel better about (the) lose old friends, but (to) escape from the fact is not a politic idea. Basically, I think we should nerve our courage to face it and try to take actions to deal with the problem.

I understand that people (who) decide to move to a new place is(are) under a tough situation to get used (to the fact that )they are lonely now. Friendship definitly play a vital role in one's happiness of life. friends share our feelings, joy or(and) sorrow, with one another. Friends enjoy corporate interests with us so that the fun of devoting in it become double. Once we lose our old fellows(我记得查过词典，这个单词过时了..), the impact is great(sever), and in that(改成the very可能会更好) situation, out of (the) disappoint(ment) of the fact, some people might come out (of) the moving idea. Change(changing to) a new environment, we can make new friends, let the past unhappy events go(leave the past unhappiness). And I admit it would work. It will work but not so much politic.
The first point I gose(?) with is that how about the other relationships you want to deal with? Your parents will miss you so much, your spouse might don't(not) want to adapt new environment--left his or her parents and friends. What's more, your recent job and the work relationships you network these years can not transfer to a new city, if you want to start all over which in fact would be qiute difficult. Do you really prepared well?

The second point I gose(?) involves encourage. Let's assume one has the great encourage to cope with all the trouble one minght confront while moving, this person should ask himself or herself: Since I'm enmotinally strong to lose so much, is it that hard to come over loseing(losing) old friends? To move on does not nessarily(necessarily) need to go to another city or country, just make new firends, it's simple.

These are my opinions. I dont agree with the moving idea when people lose their old friends. The most simple way is to muster up your courage, face it, and get over from it.

话说完全偏题了...（也可能是我完全偏题了）

emmafengxiUID: 2734678

改好咯~

bananasliceUID: 2628141

非常感谢~~！！我语法确实烂。。看来要恶补了。 7# emmafengxi

bananasliceUID: 2628141

In the busy and crowded world today, we should not expect people to be polite to each other.

I definitely disagree with the statement that we can discard politeness to each other for a reason that the world now is busy and crowded. I think of this kind of opinion express a nagative
life attitude, and we should never influenced by it.

There never any excuse can be used to save for politeness. That is my first point. It help to build a foundmental credit bewteen strangers first time meet. It's a virtue which decide whether a person is civilized or not. Being polite convey a information that one is socialized, friendly, knowing to do what is appropriate while what is not. In that situation people will happy to associate with polite person, becasue they think the person is not likely to do things offensive at least. For instance, if you don't hold the door for ladies, you will be seeing as inconsiderate and careless. When taking a bus, ignoring the elders and have a seat will be seeing as selfish. Therefore, one should perform polite in order to accept by others, like elders and those who might become your friends in the future.

My second perspective is that just because of the world now is busy and crowded, we need, more than ever to keep polite behaviors. As the fast life paces stretched people's nerve, we may become sensitive and implusive. Thus to maintain a claim mind through politeness is vital. Sometimes one see things in first sight may distort others' intentions, if
at the very moment he or she fail to repress flames of anger, a misunderstanding could upgrade to a conflict. On the other hand, as long as one remenber the rule to keep polite, later he or she might figure out there is a misunderstanding between. And the polite signal from the other side can make anger people claim down too.

We should never doubt the benefical aspect of politeness which can help not only associate with new friends but also get on well with each other, especially in this busy and crowded world.

tuxinyiUID: 2921399

改好了

bananasliceUID: 2628141

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Newspapers and magazines are the best way of learning about a foreign country.

Since newspapers and magazines are not only informations all-inclusive but also widely spread, I agree with the statement that they are the best way of learning about a foreign country.

Nowadays, the media industry is highly developed. One can find almost everything he or she wants to know about a foreign country in the newspapers and magazines.This is my first point. Informations range from traditional customs to the latest technologies, from household
duties to state affairs, are easy access to through newspapers and magazines. Therefore you can get a comprehensive understanding of a foreign country, you can get many reviews to the country about its culture, residents' characters, environment in various regions. Or if instead of accept others opinions you would rather trust your own thinkings, the newspapers and magazines also provide
plenty of pictures and objective descriptions so that you can read them then reach your own conclusions about all issues.

Furthermore, my second point is that newspapers and magazines provide much more conveniences for those who choose them. Firstly they are easy to get. People can buy one on the street or subscribe for some at home or read the electrical version online.Secondly they are good for keep along with. One could learn about details of a foreign coutry on the newspapers and magazines, at home or during the time taking the subway, without spare time to watch a culture display or listen a lecture, which the price of a ticket may expensvie and the time is unflexible so that you have to arrange your schedule especially for it.Comparing with else ways, the advantages of newspapers and magazines are far more distinct.

To combine all my points together, considering newspapers and magazines are both convenient and information-rich, I insist read them is the best way of learing about a forgien country.   不知道怎么回事 字越写越少~。。。

bananasliceUID: 2628141

Should an effective leader make others have been part of decision making?

Knowing how to utilize the collective intelligence is one of excellent characters for a effective leader, so my perspective is that make others a part of decision making is a good adivice to leaders who want to be effective.

People doubt about the idea might argue that the more persons participate a decision the harder they can reach consensus. Because there are will be various ideas about certain issue,and these upholders must have their own reasons, in that case, to give a objective consideration to each idea and make a politic choose is critical but challenging. It turns out a problem can have several solutions, in case of one's judgement being disturb so that we can saving time, a effective leader should avoid making others participate decision making. Admittedly, this kind of misgiving do have certain foundations.

However, the misgiving I talked above still not convincing enough to waver the a wise leader to try collective intelligence. As long as being used appropriately, collective intelligence can be powerful more than any individual. Since a general human even a genius can not avoid making mistake, it is a great help if there is someone can point out it. The mistake can be quickly redress, efficience upgraded.

When it comes to significant decision, collective intelligence is more secure than so called decisively determination. Because greater decision must involve more persons' interests. It is necessary to consult others' opinions, they can offer their views in terms of the problem from different angle. Therefore, leaders can work out a way which considering the genarl interests, in a relatively short time, with collective helps. We must admit that speaking of considering problem multi-angle, individual can never win group.

All in all, inspite of let others to have a hand in decision making may bring about discord, but the advantages of taking good use of it is obvious as well, and I think being a excellent leader one should possess wisdoms to control the situation in order to achieve efficience.

嘉木香草UID: 2805584

12# bananaslice
已经修改好了！^_^共同进步！

巫婆和果冻鱼UID: 2944431

Should an effective leader make others have been part of decision making?0 `6 {8 @0 k; s8 B/ o5 O$ ]8 K

Knowing how to utilize the collective intelligence is one of excellent characters for a( an) effective leader, so my perspective is that make(making) others a part of decision making is a good adivice(advice)(另外，应该没有an advice这种说法，下次建议a piece of advice 或者 a suggestion)  to leaders who want to be effective.& e; ~  S. ]- [- M% {1 C! s( _

People (who) doubt about the idea might argue that the more persons participate a decision the harder they can reach（reach 后面要加介词to） consensus. Because there are will be（。。。啥时态的说） various ideas about certain issue（issues）,and these upholders must have their own reasons, in that case, to give a（an） objective consideration to each idea and make（making） a politic(?不太明白) choose(choice是名词格式，choose是动词) is critical but challenging. It turns out a problem can have several solutions, in case of one's judgement(judgment。我建议楼主下次用word打开自己的作文检查一下。。请让小红杠杠消失吧。。消失吧。。) being disturb(disturb是动词，disturbing是形容词） so that we can saving（can 后面麻烦加动词原形） time, a effective leader should avoid making others participate decision making. Admittedly, this kind of misgiving do(does。。。。。) have certain foundations.. Q) `2 S  [/ s9 O
# C2 V  V# K0 |) a1 V- Q
However, the misgiving I talked above still (is 没有助动词这是个虾米句子) not convincing enough to waver the a wise leader to try collective intelligence（句子本身还不错，向你学习一下）. As long as being used appropriately, collective intelligence can be powerful more than any individual（首先，more应该放在powerful 前面，更首先你这个句子翻译下来就是集体的智慧比任何一个单独的人都厉害，试问，智慧怎么和人比？应该是比任何一个人的智慧都厉害才对吧）. Since a general human even a genius can not(孩子。。。下次一定要拿word看看可以不) avoid making mistake, it is a great help if there is someone can point out it（point it out !）. The mistake can be quickly redress(redressed!!!!), efficience upgraded.(神马句子。。。我真的不明白了。。。)

When it comes to significant decision, collective intelligence is more secure than so called decisively determination. Because greater decision must involve more persons' interests. It is necessary to consult others' opinions, they can offer their views in terms of the problem from different angle. Therefore, leaders can work out a way which considering the genarl interests（不明白的同时表示单词拼写有错误）, in a relatively short time, with collective helps. We must admit that speaking of considering problem （介词呢介词呢）multi-angle, individual can never win group.5 a3 K: f% u  F+ K. J( J# d
1 f! n# J0 w. P. w
All in all, inspite（这是个神马词。。） of let others to have a hand in decision making may bring about discord, but the advantages of taking good use of it is obvious as well, and I think being a excellent leader one should possess wisdoms to control the situation in order to achieve efficience（建议楼主下次查查词性）.
整体建议。我建议楼主不要用自己不熟悉的句子或者词，不要觉得别人的措辞或者句子漂亮就随意拿来，要根据自己的掌握程度认真度量之后才可以有所借鉴。不然会适得其反

巫婆和果冻鱼UID: 2944431

Should an effective leader make others have been part of decision making?0 `6 {8 @0 k; s8 B/ o5 O$ ]8 K

Knowing how to utilize the collective intelligence is one of excellent characters for a( an) effective leader, so my perspective is that make(making) others a part of decision making is a good adivice(advice)(另外，应该没有an advice这种说法，下次建议a piece of advice 或者 a suggestion)  to leaders who want to be effective.& e; ~  S. ]- [- M% {1 C! s( _

People (who) doubt about the idea might argue that the more persons participate a decision the harder they can reach（reach 后面要加介词to） consensus. Because there are will be（。。。啥时态的说） various ideas about certain issue（issues）,and these upholders must have their own reasons, in that case, to give a（an） objective consideration to each idea and make（making） a politic(?不太明白) choose(choice是名词格式，choose是动词) is critical but challenging. It turns out a problem can have several solutions, in case of one's judgement(judgment。我建议楼主下次用word打开自己的作文检查一下。。请让小红杠杠消失吧。。消失吧。。) being disturb(disturb是动词，disturbing是形容词） so that we can saving（can 后面麻烦加动词原形） time, a effective leader should avoid making others participate decision making. Admittedly, this kind of misgiving do(does。。。。。) have certain foundations.. Q) `2 S  [/ s9 O
# C2 V  V# K0 |) a1 V- Q
However, the misgiving I talked above still (is 没有助动词这是个虾米句子) not convincing enough to waver the a wise leader to try collective intelligence（句子本身还不错，向你学习一下）. As long as being used appropriately, collective intelligence can be powerful more than any individual（首先，more应该放在powerful 前面，更首先你这个句子翻译下来就是集体的智慧比任何一个单独的人都厉害，试问，智慧怎么和人比？应该是比任何一个人的智慧都厉害才对吧）. Since a general human even a genius can not(孩子。。。下次一定要拿word看看可以不) avoid making mistake, it is a great help if there is someone can point out it（point it out !）. The mistake can be quickly redress(redressed!!!!), efficience upgraded.(神马句子。。。我真的不明白了。。。)

When it comes to significant decision, collective intelligence is more secure than so called decisively determination. Because greater decision must involve more persons' interests. It is necessary to consult others' opinions, they can offer their views in terms of the problem from different angle. Therefore, leaders can work out a way which considering the genarl interests（不明白的同时表示单词拼写有错误）, in a relatively short time, with collective helps. We must admit that speaking of considering problem （介词呢介词呢）multi-angle, individual can never win group.5 a3 K: f% u  F+ K. J( J# d
1 f! n# J0 w. P. w
All in all, inspite（这是个神马词。。） of let others to have a hand in decision making may bring about discord, but the advantages of taking good use of it is obvious as well, and I think being a excellent leader one should possess wisdoms to control the situation in order to achieve efficience（建议楼主下次查查词性）.
整体建议。我建议楼主不要用自己不熟悉的句子或者词，不要觉得别人的措辞或者句子漂亮就随意拿来，要根据自己的掌握程度认真度量之后才可以有所借鉴。不然会适得其反