Issue147, 请大家指正, 谢谢! 社会类

celinaUID: 137391

Issue 147: Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must
choose between them.

Syllabus: oppose
1. Tradition and modernization are coherently coexistent in the society
2. Tradition and modernization interact positively
3. The choice for people when they choose from tradition and modernization is changeable

I can't agree the arguer's allegation that tradition and modernization are incompatible. In my opinion, tradition and modernization co-exist coherently in the society, each one doesn't isolate from another. In addition, tradition and modernization interact each other positively.

Tradition and modernization are compatible in contemporary society. It is possible that in some aspects, tradition is superior to modernization, and in other aspects, modernization is more prevailing, but there are not conflicts between them. For Instance, in an age-old town in southward of China, it is important to conserve the traditional buildings and districts, which are nominated to be parts of the world's cultural legacy by the UNESCO. But the conservation of traditional culture doesn't cumber the modernizing progress. Or consider the field of fashion, modern style is popular in the stage this years after while traditional mode still attract a great deal attention. It is the coherent co-existence of tradition and modernization that make the world rich and colorful. Lost each of them, the world would become monotonic.

Moreover, tradition and modernization interact positively in the society. As a Chinese writer once said:" Tradition and modernization are mirrors to reflect each other, each one can see oneself in the mirror." Some forms of modern culture are beneficiaries of the interaction, such as modern painting and modern music. They are not isolated from traditional culture. On the contrary, by absorbing some useful elements of traditional culture, modern culture is more flourishing than before. At the same time, tradition is not immutable. It is changing by the influence of modernization. In recent years, the change of many traditional ideas of Chinese is the keyword when people talk about the relationship between tradition and modernization. It is commonly accepted that modernization imparts positive influence on tradition.

Which one should a person to choose, tradition or modernization? I think that the choice is changeable. It is possible one prefer traditional music, but he enjoy the modern life style. Or a person comply with traditional rule to constrain himself in his private life, however he insist to use the most modern tools and methods in his work. It is not two contrary sides of the coin for people, only this side, or another side. They may choose different one under different conditions.

To sum up, tradition and modernization are not incompatible. They are coexistent in the society, and influence each other. It is problematic to the arguer that people must choose only one of them. It is alterable for people to choose from tradition and modernization.

paisleyUID: 64183

I can't agree the arguer's allegation（这个开头太像ARGUMENT了，你可以注意一下ETS范文中两种开头的区别。虽然我们提倡开门见山，不过这样硬邦邦地说“不，我不同意”好象就不够婉转了，）that tradition and modernization are incompatible. In my opinion, tradition and modernization（最好这里加个can） co-exist coherently in the society, each one doesn't isolate from another. In addition, tradition and modernization interact each other positively.

Tradition and modernization are compatible in contemporary society. It is possible that in some aspects, tradition is superior to modernization, and in other aspects, modernization is more prevailing, but there are not conflicts between them. For Instance, in an age-old（old-aged才对。不过这里直接说old即可） town in southward of China, it is important to conserve the traditional buildings and districts, which are nominated to be parts of the world's cultural legacy by the UNESCO. But the conservation of traditional culture doesn't cumber the modernizing progress（这里论证太弱了，如何见得没有cumber呢？只凭借这一句怎么能证明呢？）. Or consider the field of fashion, modern style is popular in the stage（什么stage呢？如果用比喻意，要把比喻的那个东西说出来） this years after （this years after是什么意思？）while traditional mode still attract（第三人称单数应加s） a great deal （少of ，不过我记得a great deal是修饰可数名词的）attention. It is the coherent co-existence of tradition and modernization that make（第三人称单数应加s） the world rich and colorful. Lost each（应是any） of them, the world would become monotonic. 这后几句话在说，他们共存是很美好的事情，但是并没有围绕中心说共存是否可能。这几句话可以放到另一段说。

Moreover, tradition and modernization interact positively in the society. As a Chinese writer once said:" Tradition and modernization are mirrors to reflect each other, each one can see oneself in the mirror."（我觉得这句话警世的味道不重，也不是那么优美，不如就当作你自己说的算了，呵呵。） Some forms of modern culture are beneficiaries of the interaction, such as modern painting and modern music. They are not isolated from traditional culture. On the contrary, by absorbing some useful elements of traditional culture, modern culture is more flourishing than before. At the same time, tradition is not immutable. It is changing by the influence of modernization. In recent years, the change of many traditional ideas of Chinese is the keyword when people talk about the relationship between tradition and modernization. It is commonly accepted that modernization imparts positive influence on tradition.

Which one should a person to（should后面应该不加to的） choose, tradition or modernization? I think that the choice is changeable. It is possible one prefer（第三人称单数应加s） traditional music, but he enjoy（第三人称单数应加s ）the modern life style. Or a person comply第三人称单数应加s with traditional rule to constrain himself in his private life, however he insist第三人称单数应加s to use the most modern tools and methods in his work. It is not two contrary sides of the coin for people, only this side, or another side. They may choose different one under different conditions.

To sum up, tradition and modernization are not incompatible. They are coexistent in the society, and influence each other. It is problematic to the arguer that people must choose only one of them. It is alterable for people to choose from tradition and modernization.

抱歉,改晚了，不过我实在是忙不过来了


语言方面还可以。但是有些比较低级的错误。哈哈。
思想方面，总觉得说理太不深入，还在托福的水平上。你每个POINT都是浅浅掠过，只一句话就过去了。而且这些话都是你主观性非常强的，随便下个论断，没有其他任何分析、例子来支持你。建议多看范文，学习他们是怎么围绕一个point把问题深入阐述清楚的。

你这篇文章有人写过，而且还写得不错。你可以搜索一下，对照一下这些文章。

希望你也能多多修改其他朋友的文章。如果觉得自己的英文还不是特别好，那么不一定要改他们的词句, 提点结构上和想法上的建议也是好的。因为你不可能每个题目都练过来啊，看别人的题目，自己脑子过一遍,既可以给别人提建议，自己又多了一次训练的机会.为别人服务的人优先得到斑竹的修改哦！