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5huihui
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电梯直达

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发表于 2010-11-30 13:17:02 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

刚进Daily Writing组，先开贴，今晚交作业~

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madfrog4227
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沙发

发表于 2010-12-1 14:26:13 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 madfrog4227 于 2010-12-1 14:27 编辑

2# 5huihui

As we all know, education plays a crucial role in one's process of growing up. So, inevitably, teachers' educational skill and their attitude towards students have great impact on the future of the youngsters and our society. Admittedly, teachers' salaries in many countries are not as high as the white-collars'. Thus some of them are not totally motivated.(个人觉得第一段的观点表达的不是很明确)

It would be a good choice to raise teachers' salaries to inspire(stimulate) them more devote(devoted) to their educational career. However, this is not the best one since it is not easy to handle. If we do so, a lot of people who are not really suitable for this profession will manage to become a teacher just for the considerable pay. They do not have the passion with their career, and maybe they even do not like their students. If a teacher's intention of taking this job is not for the students' sake but for the money, how could he or she be a good model for students?

Actually, we have much(many) better options to improve the quality of education. And such improvements should be made both on aspect of students and on aspect of teachers(这句话没有读懂，如果是要在他们身上进行提高，改为这样是不是明确些，and such improvements should be made both on students and teachers). On (the) one hand, we can reach this goal by doing efforts to tap(develop/inspire/motivate) students' potential. We can invest on different educational programs, provide high-quality equipments such as visual-aids to activate the classes, invite authorities and professors to do lectures, and found more fellowship to reward the students who have excellent academic performances(academic我觉得去掉比较好，奖学金不应该只对理论课成绩好的饿学生进行奖励，这样本身就会影响教育的质量). With the advent of diverse ways to study(of studying), students will be attracted and more willing to study. Plus(我觉得太口语化了,还是用in addition之类的吧), these actions will broaden their horizon, thus will also do good( be benefical) to the whole quality of education.

On the other hand, after we improve the educational environment for the students, we should pay more attention on our teachers(改为teachers' teaching methods看到这里我以为又回到了教师工资问题了呢，免得误解，呵呵). One authority on education made an investigation of the students who have academic deficiency, and he(it) estimated that 73.6% of them lose their interests on study because of the teachers' inappropriate teaching methods. Therefore, it is urgent to change the out-of-date means favored(adopted) by teachers to cope with the already changed(changing) demanding of the new generation. Psychology classes would help(would be helpful), because a teacher ought to know what youngsters are thinking in order to narrow the gap between them. Education conference could be held to offer teachers an opportunity to share their tips(ideas,tip应该表示那些小消息之类的，这里应该用一个表示理念的单词好一些吧) with others, and learn the good lessons from experienced teachers.

To sum up, I deem that teachers should be pushed(promoted/propelled) by the sense of responsibility for their students and (去掉by) the spirit to devote themselves to education, but not just by the money. Only when teachers and students work hard together can the quality of education be improved.

个人意见：第三段和第四段的例子说的有点罗嗦了，你的字数应该在这些例子上进行一下压缩，使话更为精练一下。加油，我和你同一天考

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