/作文帖。-Pros。

ProsUID: 2945841

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1203

1203 by Pros.doc (22 KB, 下载次数: 5)

2010-12-4 00:59:30 上传

下载次数: 5

ProsUID: 2945841

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1204

1204 by pros.doc (22 KB, 下载次数: 6)

2010-12-6 14:19:53 上传

下载次数: 6

bananasliceUID: 2628141

写的不错~加油！

ProsUID: 2945841

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1206

1206 by pros.doc (22 KB, 下载次数: 9)

2010-12-6 23:14:51 上传

下载次数: 9

luckybabynanfuUID: 2938629

已改，我不能发附件，可能是级别不够，只能贴上来。。。。。。

Some people argue that young people should try several different jobs before they take a long term career. I can not agree with them any more. There are numerous reasons why I hold confidence on this option, and I would explore only a few primary ones here.
In the first place, doing a constant job, in some senses, is unreasonable because people change in both physique and mental as the time goes by.（这个理由很好） It is possible that adolescent choose to be a writer after graduating, however, they will gradually find that the job is not just sitting in the house and imagine some stories but more. They need an unfailing supply of inspiration in order to work up an interesting story that people have never heard. If they can not keep the book filled with freshness, readers will be tied with it or never buy it. In this way, what it brings about is the damage to their confidence and even thought they can not gain the enough payment for earning a living. They will feel regretted under the circumstances. It is obvious that people choose to alter their jobs. Also, in the course of it, they may have not interested in literature any more when they expand their outlooks after entering the society. Furthermore, we have never known what kind of job is suitable for us for the sake of that the job we liked may not be the job appropriated to us. （第一段的例子展开地很充分！）

In the second place, trying several different jobs directs us to reach （个人觉得reach可以省了）a good job. When we try different jobs, we accumulate abundant experiences and establish wider （没有比较，不用比较级，并且要和abundant一致，没有用用more abundant） interpersonal relationships. Different work experience helps(experiences help) us handle problems quickly because we have ever encountered the similar state frequently. Also, knowing more people benefits us a lot due to the help of friends when we come up against difficulties. Also, (两个also，换一个吧)the adaptation to varying environment of working enable(enables) us to(enable sb to do) integrate into the crowd more easily and the harmonious personality which developed by the situation make(makes) us get along with others well. Thus, those are all key factors to arrive at a nice career which is can not attain （can not be attained） from a stable career. (最后一句很漂亮)

Hence, from the discussion I mentioned above, it is easily to draw the conclusion that young people should try various jobs before sticking to an unalterable career. I appeal people to make an attempt at everything because there are countless funs waiting for us to colorful our lives. （colorful不能用作动词。Color可以吗？不大确定，brighten也行）（相对前面的精彩，结尾稍微弱了一点，虽然并没有错误）
整体很不错，很干净，很整洁，很清晰，很流畅，很逻辑。
学习~~~~~

cckkll1994UID: 2952719

12.06 revise

ProsUID: 2945841

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1208

1208 by pro.doc (23 KB, 下载次数: 6)

2010-12-9 16:00:59 上传

下载次数: 6

ProsUID: 2945841

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1209

1209 by pro.doc (22 KB, 下载次数: 6)

2010-12-9 16:45:07 上传

下载次数: 6

EEEE456258UID: 2454106

改好
1208 by pro.doc (25.5 KB, 下载次数: 2)

2010-12-9 19:43:51 上传

下载次数: 2

linaxu0123UID: 2925353

挺好的，没有怎么改动~ 注意一下内容更好！~