跪求好心人帮我改改作文吧~~多谢了~~！！！

tuofuzuihouUID: 2969827

我的一篇综合作文 能麻烦帮我修改下吗 多谢了
综合写作：

话题	关于政府the government是否应该own Amtrak(Amtrak是美国的铁路公司,为政府所有)。reading认为公交系统应该取消或由私人公司承包。
组别	材料	内容
第1组	阅读材料	证据：赚不到钱（不能make profit），反而赔钱lose money。有些车路线很偏僻，去remote area。很少有人坐。
	教授反驳	证据：government funding火车不是为了赚钱make profit而是为了给偏僻地区remote and unpopulated的人提供方便provide services。住在remote area的人需要用火车，他们跟住在城市的人一样有权利right享受公共交通（好像是哈）。
第2组	阅读材料	证据：对私有的Transportation company（比如Airlines）很不公平。因为政府只给火车funding，并没有support those companies。等，以至于他们没法降价，难以和或者争顾客。
	教授反驳	证据：政府对航空公司airline有很多支持funding了，已经给了各种各样的啦。例如paying bills from the air traffic control towers ,training aviators and weather forecasting organizations;
第3组	阅读材料	证据：在美国火车不是那么popular /out of date。大部分人选择使用汽车而不是火车，因此政府不应该再funding 或者，而是直接投资高速high way的建设，培训工作人员，播报天气预报。
	教授反驳	证据：大家不坐火车不是因为不火车过时popular，而是速度慢，效率低，导致人们使用自己的私人汽车。要是政府再使劲的往train system里砸钱，improve the service。整的跟日本欧洲Japan and Europe似的，方便又便宜more affordable and faster，人们都愿意做火车。结论说政府应该多投入在Amtrak上。

Both the reading passage and the listening passage talk about the government should own Amtrak company or not. However, the opinions are entirely different. The reading passage suggests that purchase the Amtrak is helpful, but the listening section believe that means nothing.

Firstly, the reading paragraph suggested the government will make no profit. Because that the railway build in the remote area. So less people will use it. Finally it will make government lose money. But, the listening passage gave a paragraph with opposite idea saying that government funding for train is not for earn money but for provide services. The persons who lived in the remote area need trains and they also have right to take trains.

Secondly, the reading section provided us that it is not fair that government only helps Amtrak. There are a plenty of personally transportation company need funding. In this way, the other companies van not complete with Amtrak. In contrast, the listening section showed us a different picture that Airline Company had already got funding form government. For example, paying bills form the air traffic control towers, training aviators and weather forecasting organization.

Thirdly, in order to strengthen the idea, the writer in the reading passage believed traveling by train is not popular now. Most of people have car. So to build more high way is the right thing which the government should to do. But, the professor said, nowadays people do not choose train because that the system of the train is not update for a long time which tones back the writer. The professor also talked about the train system in Japan for example.

All in all, the opinions in the listening passage are totally different from the ones in the reading passage.

tuofuzuihouUID: 2969827

。。。。

hycqyUID: 2819662

帮顶一下  你是写作小组的么？

tuofuzuihouUID: 2969827

3# hycqy
不是。。。 一定要是写作小组的才有人会帮忙看看嘛？ 新来的不太懂

S酱UID: 2883188

建议lz参加作文小组哦，因为大家都在备考很忙，互改才比较公平哈～
大致看了下～一点个人意见
觉得lz第一句这么说不是很清晰，建议去看看模版，一般都是明确指出一方观点另一方反对。
另外，句子比较简单，句子之间衔接的不是特别好，需要多写作文练习语感和句子。