Argument 4_彼岸小组第四次作业_by muzhihaol

muzhihao1UID: 2959675

In thisargument, the arguer advocates that Adams Realty is a wiser choice for peoplewho want to sell his home than Fitch Realty. To support this claim, the argueranalyze the actual situations of the two companies to draw the conclusion thatthe Adams is superior and cites some certain statistics to confirm it, such asthe condition of their agents, avenue and home sales. The arguer also cites hisown experience as proof. Although this claim sounds persuasive at fist glance,it is in fact ill-conceived.

Thisargument is based on a unwarranted premise that the scale of the real estatefirm is a decisive factor in the price of the home sales. In addition to thereal estate firm,
the features of thehome itself, such as the its location and decoration, contribute more to itsprice. Admittedly, the quality of the real estate firm can affect the price ofthe home sales, but it always be reflected by the service of the firm and thedegree of the reliance of the customers, all of these are seldom mentioned inthe argument.

Even ifwe accept the premise, the argument remains questionable because it seems notso clear that Adams surpasses Fitch. The statistics of Adams' agents andrevenue only can tell that Adams owns a bigger team and a greater transactionsum. But how about their efficiency and profit? It's entirely possible that,despite their sum, the average avenue made by every agent is low, whichindicates the Adams lacks an effective model of management. What's more, theaverage price of the home sales means nothing without providing the certainstatistics of specific components of different home styles.

Theexperience of the arguer accomplishes nothing toward bolstering the fact thatAdams sell home quickly. The arguer fails to notice the vast change happened inthe nine years. The demands for the home, the conceptions of the customers andpolicy of the government all can explain the difference of the time cost tosell the home, not to mention the diversity of the two houses.

To sumup, the argument sounds at the first glance reasonable and reliable, but aftercareful scrutiny, it turns to be assertive and unfair. Apart from the avenueand clients of the firm, the arguer should consider more necessary contentssuch as the
efficiency of the clients,the quality of the service and the response of the customers. As for customers,in order to elevate the
price, it isessential for them to analyze its advantages and evaluate its level before theyseek for a real estate firm.

McNeilUID: 2272415

Inthis argument, the arguer advocates that Adams Realty is a wiser choice forpeople who want to sell his home than Fitch Realty. To support this claim, thearguer analyze the actual situations of the two companies to draw theconclusion that the Adams is superior and cites some certain statistics toconfirm it, such as the condition of their agents, avenue and home sales. Thearguer also cites（换个词） his own experience as proof.Although this claim sounds persuasive at first glance, it is in fact ill-conceived.
This argument isbased on an unwarranted premise that the scale of the real estate firm is a decisivefactor in the price of the home sales. In addition to the real estatefirm,  the features of the home itself, such as the its location anddecoration, contribute more to its price. Admittedly, the quality of the realestate firm can affect the price of the home sales, but it always be reflectedby the service of the firm and the degree of the reliance of the customers, allof these are seldom mentioned in the argument. （攻击前提是正确的，但是前面的细小的逻辑关系需要整理一下）



Even if we acceptthe premise, the argument remains questionable because it seems not so clearthat Adams surpasses Fitch. The statistics of Adams' agents and revenue onlycan tell that Adams owns a bigger team and a greater transaction sum. But howabout their efficiency and profit? It's entirely possible that, despite theirsum, the average avenue made by every agent is low, which indicates the Adamslacks an effective model of management. What's more, the average price of the homesales means nothing without providing the certain statistics of specificcomponents of different home styles. （很多漏洞没有照顾到，感觉可以说的更到位一点）The experience of the argueraccomplishes nothing toward bolstering the fact that Adams sell home quickly.The arguer fails to notice the vast change happened in the nine years. Thedemands for the home, the conceptions of the customers and policy of thegovernment all can explain the difference of the time cost to sell the home,not to mention the diversity of the two houses.


To sum up, theargument sounds at the first glance reasonable and reliable, but after carefulscrutiny, it turns to be assertive and unfair. Apart from the avenue andclients of the firm, the arguer should consider more necessary contents such asthe  efficiency of the clients, the quality of the service and theresponse of the customers. As for customers, in order to elevatethe  price, it is essential for them to analyze its advantages andevaluate its level before they seek for a real estate firm.


我不知道是不是排版的问题导致你没有分段
大体思路很好，内部的小逻辑，小层次有待于加强

欢迎讨论，谢谢

muzhihao1UID: 2959675

2# McNeil
放上去没有再看，没分段应该是软件的关系

choupgheadUID: 2969431

（不知道分段在哪里）
（开头有些冗长，且模式化严重，这些字数是不算在有效字数内的）In this argument, the arguer advocates that Adams Realty is a wiser choice for people who want to sell his home than Fitch Realty. To support this claim, the arguer analyze the actual situations of the two companies to draw the conclusion that the Adams is superior and cites some certain statistics to confirm it(和To support this claim有些重复), such as the condition of their agents, avenue and home sales. The arguer also cites his own experience as proof. Although this claim sounds persuasive at first glance, it is in fact ill-conceived. This argument is based on a unwarranted premise that the scale of the real estate firm is a decisive factor in the price of the home sales. In addition to the real estate firm, the features of the home itself, such as the its location and decoration, contribute more to its price.（最好分点攻击，不要一上来就这么笼统的整个都攻击了，可以放在后面） Admittedly, the quality of the real estate firm can affect the price of the home sales, but it always be reflected by the service of the firm and the degree of the reliance of the customers, all of these are seldom mentioned in the argument. Even if we accept the premise, the argument remains questionable because it seems not so clear that Adams surpasses Fitch. The statistics of Adams' agents and revenue only can tell that Adams owns a bigger team and a greater transaction sum. But how about their efficiency and profit?(their profit指代不明) It's entirely possible that, despite their sum, the average avenue made by every agent is low, which indicates the Adams lacks an effective model of management. What's more, the average price of the home sales means nothing without providing the certain statistics of specific components of different home styles. The experience of the arguer accomplishes nothing toward bolstering the fact that Adams sell home quickly. The arguer fails to notice the vast change happened in the nine years. The demands for the home（demand什么）, the conceptions （对于什么的conception）of the customers and policy of the government all can explain the difference of the time cost to sell the home, not to mention the diversity of the two houses. To sum up, the argument sounds at the first glance reasonable and reliable, but after careful scrutiny, it turns to be assertive and unfair. Apart from the avenue and clients of the firm, the arguer should consider more necessary contents such as the efficiency of the clients, the quality of the service and the response of the customers. As for customers, in order to elevate the price, it is essential for them to analyze its advantages and evaluate its level before they seek for a real estate firm.
（这篇比上一篇进步多了，算是中规中矩，希望下次继续努力）