Daily Writing- feifeionly

伶女UID：2797207

2.24的改啦～～  不好意思 晚了点


关于 theory of ceremony还是ceremony theory
你不问的话我也不会想那么多耶，呵呵
仔细看的话我觉得两个都可以，单独拿出来都有点歧义，但是放在文章里肯定是很明了的
我语法也一般般，但是希望有所帮助啦～

feifeionlyUID：2778967

26日独立

bibby00888UID：2908529

26日 独立修改

伶女UID：2797207

2.26 feeback

feifeionlyUID：2778967

3月1日独立

beangtUID：2691375

3.01独立修改

As to government should spend more money on education of very young children than the education of universities, I am totally disagree with this statement. Based on the reality, government spends more money on universities than that of young children. And government can’t not only pay attention to the interests and short-term development of whole nation.

First and foremost, government has already put more money on universities. Taking the aspects of university facilities for instance, government spent a lot of money on main buildings, new libraries, new books, and new canteens. Once when we walked around in the university campus, we will (be) astonished by these kinds of artistic architectures. And the floor area of the campus is several thousand acres surrendered by the beautiful mountains and rivers. On the contrary (In contrast比较好，这是两个事物，逻辑上没有相反), the money spent by the government on the education of very young children is less. Actually, from one of the kindergartens near my house, I only see a small class room with the undecorated playground, not to mention some other old toys and cartoon books inside the class room indicated what poor educational environment it has.

In the second place, there are other purposes of government spend money to universities which deviates its educational significance. (我觉得这个理由不够充分，应该说明教育比科研重要，所以不能投太多钱在科研上。) For example, the aim of pursuing economic interests could not be neglected. Nowadays, government spends more money on cooperating with universities to help them establish new training centers, labs and support them carry out different kinds of scientific experiments because the government believe the development of science is essential for the future of the nation. It is difficult to see government prefer spending money on the portion which generates indirect economic output- the young children’s education.

In addition, government should not ignore the importance of the money spent on the young children. We should remind the government that the money it spent will not be in vain because the education of young children stands for the prosperous development of the whole country. The money could be used to improve young children's educational environment and mental health. To illustrate these points detailed, educational environment is crucial for making young children acquire more knowledge which will attract their interest for learning and stimulate their creativity. And the money spend on mental health will cultivate them to have the good learning habits.

To conclude, government could not ignore the educational expense spending （spent） on children. Children are worth receiving benefits as many as government places on universities. And the found government spends on very young children will ensure their healthy growth.
结构很好，语言也比较流畅，错误也非常少，加油！

bibby00888UID：2908529

不好意思早上有课 来晚了

feifeionlyUID：2778967

3月2日独立

ncnysUID：2347325

As to whether a job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time, I am(delete) totally disagree with this statement. Indeed, different people have their rights to choose their life styles. But(delete) considering my personality, life satisfaction and real living situation, I will not hesitate to choose the high salary job with less vacation time.

Initially(First?), analyzing my personality, I know I am this(the) kind of person who admires a high salary job(reasons could be indicated in the topic sentence). A high salary not only exposes the meaning of money, it(but) also could bring about your(you) working satisfaction, which proves to myself that I am the person with strong capability and can adjust to(stand) the heavy workload and achieve successfully in the fierce working competition. However, you may say that the sacrifice of a high salary is less vacation. But In my view, it is reasonable that young people engage more in their works which helps them have the sense of achievement. When they grow(get) old, they will not be(delete) so regret wasting a lot of time playing.

In the second place, from the reality I need more money to earn my living in this stressful world. I am not the small child who only relies on parents and ask(asks) for their financial assistance(suport), and it is time for me to find a job with a high salary to reward my parents. Not only does it guarantee my pleasure time, but also it ensures a better life for my parents. Also, I don't want to live a low quality of life, living in the rented house and catching up buses to go to work every day. I enjoy the life with more satisfactory, which I could use high salary to buy my house in the center of the city and drive my car after finishing the work.

Finally, the feeling of achievement can not be simply illustrated as high salary and high position. Psychologically, the high salary job embodies the enthusiasm towards work and life, especially, which through one’s industrious work and a lot of contributions. The job and money are far beyond its original meaning which makes we cherish what we have achieved.这段topic sentence主要讲满足感不能以工资衡量，后面讲的是可以衡量？

In conclude(conclusion), to choose a more(delete) higher salary job with less vocation time will more preferable selections(be a better selection). Living in this competitive world with more pressures with material life(delete), we need to be realistic and do not have the selfish mentality of indulging in comfortable life and unwilling to struggle for both our future and beloved families.如果能再点一下两种工作在最后，就能好了。

xielijuan36UID：2995990

As to whether a job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time, I am totally disagree with this statement. Indeed, different people have their rights to choose their life styles. But considering my personality, life satisfaction and real living situation, I will not hesitate to choose the high salary job with less vacation time.

Initially, analyzing my personality, I know I am
the kind of person who admires a high salary job. A high salary not only exposes the meaning of money, it also could bring about your working satisfaction, which proves to myself that I am the person with strong capability and can
adjust to
the heavy workload and achieve successfully in the fierce working competition. However, you may say that the sacrifice of a high salary is less vacation. But In my view,
it is reasonable that young people engage in their works which helps them have the sense of achievement. When they grow old, they will not be so regret wasting a lot of time playing.

In the second place, from the reality I need more money to earn my living in this stressful world. I am not the small child who only relies on parents and asks for their financial assistance, and it is time for me to find a job with a high salary to reward my parents. Not only does it guarantee my pleasure time, but also it ensures a better life for my parents. Also, I don't want to live a low quality of life, living in the rented house and catching up buses to go to work every day. I enjoy the life with more confortabale, which I could use high salary to buy my house in the center of the city and drive my car after finishing the work.

Finally, the feeling of achievement can not be simply illustrated as high salary and high position. Psychologically, the high salary job embodies the enthusiasm towards work and life, especially, which through one’s industrious work and a lot of contributions. The job
and money are far beyond its original meaning which makes us cherish what we have achieved.

In conclude(conclusion),the feeling of achievement is very important to me and living in this competitive world with more pressures of material life, we need to be realistic and to struggle for both our future and beloved families. To choose a more high salary job with less vocation timewillbe more preferable selections.(这样改觉得更贴近主题更完整）



写的挺好的，有文采（还是不太地道:lol ），好像第二段和第四段的意思差不多

feifeionlyUID：2778967

3月3日独立

笑会计UID：2872606

3.3 改好

伶女UID：2797207

3.3改完了 不好意思哈

feifeionlyUID：2778967

3月8日独立

beangtUID：2691375

3.8
独立修改

It is the human nature that (people are) unwilling to accept the criticism from others. Most of us will be more preferable to compliment than criticism. As for me, especially in the teamwork, I agree the one who can’t accept the criticism from others has difficult in success. All in all (After all,) we are not the perfect person has no weakness at any time. To admit the criticism from others will not only make us learn more but also create harmonious atmosphere inside the team.

Initially, criticism could tell the intrinsic aspects of the matter and make us move on to the success. Compared the ability with a team, the ability of the single person is utterly limited. Due to the fact that different people have different thoughts, the one who could make good use of the criticism and convert its positive side will be cleverer because his decision is comprehensive and objective. Also, the benefits of accepting criticism will make the person know his/her drawbacks to avoid making mistakes next time.

In addition, especially in the teamwork (去掉？因为后边都已经限定在team里了), accepting other’s criticism will lead to a harmonious team atmosphere. Psychologically, people are apt to get along with someone who willing to accept his/her opinions and will think him/her more accessible （）. If the person reject other’s opinion, team members will think you are this kind of arbitrary people. When you face the problems next time, they will reluctant to tell the truth.

I used to participate in an English corner at university and six members worked as a group to practice pronunciation together. One of our classmates always has the problems of inaccurate pronunciation, facing the criticism he insisted on his own methods, no one would like to talk with him in the end.

Finally, some people may doubt sometime the criticism is also incorrect （the validity/efficiency of critricism）. In this situation, we need to distinguish whether the criticism is advisable or not. If you think the criticism has its fault, you could accept it and then using the appropriate methods to express your ideas to others. Through the mutual communication, the distance among the people will be closer, this also makes others trust you and share more knowledge you wanted.

In a word, we can not ignore influence of criticism. If we treat criticism positively, we will overcome our weakness and make progress from it. Moreover, accepting criticism will be good to create friendly environment with team members, all of which will lead to a final success for both the single person and whole teams.

结构还是很不错的，语言上有一些表述有点蹩脚。继续加油！~