好心人能帮帮忙么？关于可否限定作文关键词范围

Happy-SunflowerUID: 2918017

今天做了一篇作文题为：Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends.

就像平时写论文一样，想把这里的"students"定义为上大学之前的学生，这样写起来更严谨一些，和下面的分论点契合起来，大家觉得可以么？老外会不会受不了这样写？如下述绿色文字：

I am firmly convinced that students are affected by both teachers and friends.
Yet, it is a prejudice opinion that there is some discrepancy between the influence by their teachers and that by their friends. I believe that the affection placed by teachers on students, at best, is tatamount to that exerted by the students' friends.Here I would like to confine the definition of "students" to a narrower range, that is, students before entering into college. To support my perspective, I am ready to come up with two specific reasons.

hycqyUID: 2819662

1# Happy-Sunflower 我觉得你可以缩小范围 但是没必要特别的用绿色句子 你就说some students, especially those in colleges这样的 就可以了我觉得

dkflameUID: 2680233

你用这个绿色的句子，如果没被老美注意到的话，老美反而会看的稀里糊涂。而且，很少有这种写法吧。
不推荐这样写。

Happy-SunflowerUID: 2918017

2# hycqy 明白了，谢谢斑竹:loveliness:

Happy-SunflowerUID: 2918017

3# dkflame 谢谢斑竹提醒:p