寄托天下
查看: 5451|回复: 24
打印 上一主题 下一主题

[作文] Daily Writing by lz [复制链接]

Rank: 2

声望
2
寄托币
168
注册时间
2008-1-23
精华
0
帖子
0
跳转到指定楼层
楼主
发表于 2011-3-5 11:09:19 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
3月5号 独立作文
Do you agree with the following statement? People should work quickly and risk making mistakes or should work slowly and make sure that everything is correct?  

Nowadays, people are too busy to deal with so many things. Some people work quickly and risk making mistakes to save time. While, in contrast, others would like to work slowly and make sure that everything is correct. As far as I am concerned, work quickly can benefit people more in the quickly developed society.
First of all, there is not enough time available for people to do all things slowly and correctly. Students in school have to take a lot of courses and have heavy load to finish their homework. If they don't work quickly, they undoubted will be punished for unfinished study and miss some knowledge that must be handled. For the slowly working students to finish all the work, they have to spend a long time on their study, which will be harmful for their health. Lack of sleep can damage their physical health and no rest time lead to low efficient. Workers also suffer from work slowly. Slow worker may lose the chance for promotion for the limited work they have done. They are considered to be lazy as they do less work than others.
Second, it is not necessary to do everything slowly. In our daily life, there are a lot of thing that is not necessary to pay too much attention on. It is allowed for us to finish something with small mistakes in it. For example, we print some draft with mistakes, but that is OK. On the other hand, work that you have done many times and get used to the process, can be finished quickly without checking everything to be correct.
Third, some mistakes can’t be avoided even you work slowly. Making sure everything correct is impossibly. Even though you take a long time to deal with an important work, mistakes also exit for you limited experience or effect of other people. What's more, short time work can avoid some mistake by taking other measures. You can turn to other people for help to check you work, which is better than you finish it by yourself with more time.
As what is discussed above, working quickly is better for people. And the mistakes can be corrected by other methods instead of working slowly.
已有 1 人评分寄托币 声望 收起 理由
hycqy + 10 + 2 加油

总评分: 寄托币 + 10  声望 + 2   查看全部投币

回应
0

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
2
寄托币
153
注册时间
2010-1-28
精华
0
帖子
2
沙发
发表于 2011-3-6 01:41:44 |只看该作者
3月5号 独立作文
: H8 l9 k& W5 {$ _Do you agree with the following statement? People should work quickly and risk making mistakes or should work slowly and make sure that everything is correct?  0 A) G( A4 \3 T# S6 I

Nowadays, people are too busy to deal with so many things. Some people work quickly and risk making mistakes to save time. While, in contrast, others would like to work slowly and make sure that everything is correct. As far as I am concerned, work quickly can benefit people more in the quickly developed society.1 S1 Y* b5 s

第一段OK quick 稍微换一下。。建议
First of all, there is not enough time available这次在这里感觉有点重复说明...或者直接用available for people to do all things slowly and correctly. Students in school have to take a lot of courses and have heavy load to finish their homework. If they don't work quickly, they it is undoubted that they will be punished for unfinished study and miss some knowledge that must be handled. For the slowly working student to finish all the work, they have to spend a long time on their study, which will be harmful for their health. Lack of sleep can damage their physical health and no rest time lead to low efficient. Workers also suffer from work slowly. Slow worker may lose the chance for promotion for the limited work they have done. They are considered to be lazy as they do less work than others. & ?% v6 n, y' F5 e( _/ g( c3 O
Second, it is not necessary to do everything slowly. In our daily life, there are a lot of thing that is not necessary to pay too much attention on. It is allowed for us to finish读着有点怪..we are allowed something with small mistakes in it感觉有点多余.有些表达 我也拿不准。感觉有点错误 不知道对不对 说的不对 请包含。。 For example, we print some draft with mistakes, but that is OK. On the other hand, work that you have done many times and 主语呢?get used to the process, can be finished quickly without checking everything to be correct. ) I5 z- G2 |/ V9 Z& [2 S
Third, some mistakes can’t be avoided even you work slowly. Making sure everything correct is impossibly Even though you take a long time to deal with an important work, mistakes also exit for you limited experience or effect of other people. What's more, short time work can avoid some mistake by taking other measures. You can turn to other people for help to check you work, which is better than you finish it by yourself with more time. # u. V7 l$ H5 M/ x" I! d- `
As what is discussed above, working quickly is better for people. And the mistakes can be corrected by other methods instead of working slowly
.
感觉例子发挥的不够鲜明   每个段落中心意思很明确 但是论证的方法不够说服力..其实我也这毛病....比如你说错误是无法避免的。。但是你论证的时候就简单的带过了。我好象也是。。

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
15
寄托币
449
注册时间
2006-5-9
精华
0
帖子
6
板凳
发表于 2011-3-6 12:41:23 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 keaishu 于 2011-3-6 12:46 编辑

网络有问题发了半天了。。
附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号?立即注册
201206 T102

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
2
寄托币
168
注册时间
2008-1-23
精华
0
帖子
0
地板
发表于 2011-3-7 09:24:05 |只看该作者
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the main cause of unhealthy eating habits?

In the modern time, more and more people suffer from stomach disease, high blood pressure and other disease result from unhealthy eating habits. The cause of unhealthy eating habtis arises a lot of controversy. Some people state that advertising is the main cause of unhealty eating habits, while others hold the idea that other facts, such as great pressure, play more important rule. For me, advertising is one reason of unhealty eating habits but not the main cause.
First of all, people eat more junk food because of advertising.There are a lot of food advertising on TV aimed at little children. They ask for the food on advertisement no matter it is good or bad for their health. One of my little brother are eage to eat one junk food, becasue he watched its advertisment and he liked the small toy together with the food. Another famous example is the advertisment of KFC. KFCs are around us and become one thing of our daily life. Some people eat too much without considering its bad effect, such as obesity. People, especially children, are easy to be impacted by food advertising to eat some junk food or eat too much. As a result, advertising contributes to the unhealthy eating habits.
The other important reason of unhealthy eating habits are big pressure. Eating a big deal become one of the most important way for people to relax. According to a resent survery, a big part of people choose eating for relax, which is more serious for famale than male. The reason why people choose eating too much food, usually unhealty food, for relax is they consider it easy and useful. In China, people often drink a lot of alcohol with business parterns. Although they know drink too much alcohol is harmfu for their healty, but they have to do it to get the contract. They selected the unhealty eating habits considering the compeletation in their work.
young ladies are pay too much attention to losing weight by eating too little. It is wildly receive that thin people are more beauty, which result in unhealty eating habits to lose weight. News show that one model who want to keep her thin figure without eating for a long time and died. Almost every girls in my class want to lose their weight by decreasing their food, which is a bad eating habit and are hurmful for youngers to build their body.
Besides advertising, big pressure and eaging to lose weight also lead to unhealty eating habits, and play more important rule for eating too little or drinking too much.

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
2
寄托币
643
注册时间
2011-2-11
精华
0
帖子
9
5
发表于 2011-3-8 08:33:37 |只看该作者
查收
附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号?立即注册

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
17
寄托币
323
注册时间
2011-1-9
精华
0
帖子
6
6
发表于 2011-3-8 09:51:01 |只看该作者
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the main cause of unhealthy eating habits?7 o: J* {, R9 I& S8 F* x

In the modern time, more and more people suffer from stomach disease, high blood pressure and other diseases result from unhealthy eating habits. The cause of unhealthy eating habtis arises(用arouse) a lot of controversies. Some people state(assert) that advertising is the main cause of unhealty eating habits, while others hold the idea that other facts, such as great pressure, play more important rule(role). For me, advertising is one reason of unhealty eating habits but not the main cause. (你说题目更直接一些)
First of all, people eat more junk food because of advertising.There are a lot of food advertising on TV aimed at little children. They ask for the food on advertisement no matter it is good or bad for their health. One of my little brother are eage to eat one junk food, becasue he watched its advertisment and he liked the small toy together with the food. Another famous example is the advertisment of KFC. KFCs are around us and become one thing of our daily life. Some people eat too much without considering its bad effect, such as obesity. People, especially children, are easy to be impacted by food advertising to eat some junk food or eat too much. As a result, advertising contributes to the unhealthy eating habits.(上段你不是说不同意是主要理由么,却还在先说这个问题呢) B% L3 {# U6 C0 E

The other important reason of unhealthy eating habits are(is) big(high) pressure. Eating a big deal(去掉) become one of the most important way for people to relax. According to a resent survery, a big part of(an astonishing number of) people choose eating for relax, which is more serious for famale than male. (这句和上句有点重复)The reason why people choose eating too much food, usually unhealty food, for relax is they consider it easy and useful.(还是和上句有点重复) In China, people often drink a lot of alcohol with business parterns. Although they know drink too much alcohol is harmfu for their healty, but they have to do it to get the contract. They selected the unhealty eating habits considering the compeletation in their work.(这句有点不明白)% b+ Y9 l" Z/ ?. S5
]$ ?  t
young ladies are pay too much attention to(on) losing weight by eating too little(a little bit). It is wildly receive(accept) that thin(skinny) people are more beauty, which result in unhealty eating habits to lose weight. News show that one model who want to keep her thin(skinny) figure without eating for a long time and died(died). Almost every girls in my class want to lose their weight by decreasing their food, which is a bad eating habit and are hurmful for youngers to build their body.(which is  a harmful eating habit for physical development of teenagers.) T, v
  |1 J5 i
Besides advertising, big(high) pressure and eaging??? to lose weight also lead to unhealty eating habits, and play more important rule(role) for eating too little or drinking too much.(有点没懂,和上一段意思不一样么)

大概的框架有了,注意一下逻辑关系,拼写问题和语法问题:)

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
17
寄托币
323
注册时间
2011-1-9
精华
0
帖子
6
7
发表于 2011-3-8 09:52:31 |只看该作者
下划线没改的是有拼写问题

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
2
寄托币
168
注册时间
2008-1-23
精华
0
帖子
0
8
发表于 2011-3-10 13:11:31 |只看该作者
3.10独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people should try different job before they decide which job or career they will do in the long term

Youngsters are easier to change their jobs. Trying different jobs has its advantages and disadvantages. The people who support young people to do different job points out that it will help youngsters to find their right job. However, others, who oppose to this statement, say it is not good for youngsters to achieve success in one field. For me, the advantages of taking different job out weight its disadvantages.
First of all, since it is not easy for youngsters to know what kinds of job are suitable for them, varying between different fields can make them know clearly about themselves. Compared to increasing kinds of work, the limited knowledge about different kinds of job, usually the job of parents or closed friends, leads to a wrong career for some people. Even though, people hare about some job fields from TV or internet, without experience in them it is impossible for them to know the job in details and find the interest of it. As a result, most people choose the work similar to their parents’ and someone don’t like their jobs at all. They continue their disliked jobs because they don’t know other kinds of job appropriate for them. This situation is harmful and can be solved though trying different job.
Second, different filed work broadens our horizon and is helpful for a better understanding in one field. The knowledge required by one work is not limited in this field, experiences of other field give a hand for better perform in this work. For instance, if you want to design windows interface, knowledge about art will help you to make it perfect. For leaders of a company, basic work experience contributes to make a better decision. He or her is aware about the difficult of programs and give proper deadline if he or she did a similar job before.
Third, different work leads to a meaningful life for youngster. One of my friends changes his work in different areas after graduate, and makes a lot of friends with different experiences and characters. His friends offer him a lot of chance to touch with more things. The more he experience, the more meaning he find in his life. The meaningful life and different friends help him a lot to find his interesting.
As mentioned above, trying different job can benefit people a lot and help them to find the long time career.

使用道具 举报

Rank: 5Rank: 5

声望
20
寄托币
1180
注册时间
2010-10-31
精华
0
帖子
205
9
发表于 2011-3-11 16:41:03 |只看该作者
3月10日独立
附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号?立即注册
No pains, no gains.

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
2
寄托币
168
注册时间
2008-1-23
精华
0
帖子
0
10
发表于 2011-3-17 10:05:27 |只看该作者
3.17 独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Does advice given by older people more valuable than from people at your age?

In the modern society, to make a good decision, we need advice from others. However, which advice is more helpful for us, the one given by older people or that from people at your age? People who support that older people’s advice is more valuable point the fact that older ones own more experience and are more considerable. While others believe people at the same age can offer better advice because they grow up in the similar environment. From my perspective, the advice from the both people is valuable, which one is more valuable depends on what kind of advice it is.
The first point I will put forward is that older people provide valuable advice on great issue in your life for they are abound with all kinds of experience and they take care of you. When I face the problem which kind of major to choose for the further study, my parents give me the advice to know more details in different filed and select the one you are interested in. This advice finally helps me a lot. With colorful experience, older people’s advice really helps us a lot in our life. On the other hand, even though without same experience, elders definitely provide merit advice for they usually pay much attention on you growth and know clearly about you, sometimes know more than yourselves.
Even though older people give us valuable advice, peers, who surely care about all new trends in our society can also help us in certain condition. With the rapid development of society, environment change a lot from what it is in the past, older people who normally offer advices according to their own experience may mislead us, while individuals at the same age, keeping up with the space of development, can help us more in the new condition. Image that you want to purchase a compute, advice from your classmate who already have compute are undoubted more valuable. In contrast, the advice from older people who are lack of the knowledge about feathers of computer may confuse you.
Making decision need advice from the right person, they may be your parents or your friends. The different life path and variety filed they occupancy in vary their way of selection. You should consider the real situation to decide whose advice to take. It is unfair to say whether the older people or the same age people can offer the more valuable advice. You should have the ability to judge which one is better for you according to what kind of problem you face.

使用道具 举报

Rank: 5Rank: 5

声望
20
寄托币
1180
注册时间
2010-10-31
精华
0
帖子
205
11
发表于 2011-3-18 09:34:27 |只看该作者
3月17独立
附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号?立即注册
No pains, no gains.

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
3
寄托币
403
注册时间
2009-9-13
精华
0
帖子
6
12
发表于 2011-3-18 15:31:52 |只看该作者
10# caochezhi 3.17号修改
LZ的观点与我比较相似,修改起来也有感觉,都是一些小问题!加油
附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号?立即注册

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
2
寄托币
168
注册时间
2008-1-23
精华
0
帖子
0
13
发表于 2011-3-19 11:20:04 |只看该作者
3.19独立
附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号?立即注册

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
15
寄托币
449
注册时间
2006-5-9
精华
0
帖子
6
14
发表于 2011-3-20 15:16:17 |只看该作者
改晚了:)

我觉得你把论点写反了!
附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号?立即注册
201206 T102

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
2
寄托币
95
注册时间
2010-11-27
精华
0
帖子
3
15
发表于 2011-3-20 22:01:06 |只看该作者

RE: Daily Writing by lz

Being successful is the goal of almost every people. However, there are widely wide debates on how to be successful. Some people claim that to be like others is more important than to be different from everybody else for our success. From In my view, I strongly disagree with this opinion for the following reasons.

The first extremely significant reason I will emphasize is that more devotion and consideration we have to put into our area than others in order to become successful. Life abounds with such examples. Edison did thousands experiments to invent lamp. Students toped
topping in our class always work harder than other classmates. Besides talents, champions in sports undoubtedly exercise severely and really suffering suffer more than normal athletes. On the other hand, if you are a successful leader, you have to think much deeply than others. Imagining your company sticks in tough condition, a successful leader should calm down immediately and take into account various aspects to make a favorable decision other than move with other employees, who inescapable fall in worry and probably consider just from their own filed field. Therefore, it can’t be denied that successful persons do more than others.

What I will put forward to oppose the idea that it is more important to be like others other than be different from everybody else in order to be successful is that different methods of thinking definitely give us more creative ideas. As we all know, new creations most likely come from abnormal反常的,变态的,这是个贬义词,可以用distinctive people. Take my uncle for example. He is a successful business man. When he gave up his highly wages work and started a small factory to produce a new kind of vale, which was considered useless and filled with a lot of shortcoming, he was indeed believed to be an abnormal individual. Nevertheless, it is him he who finds out the brightly future of this vale achieves success finally.语句不通,可以换一种表达方式
This example gives me a fully understanding that abnormal people who act without following other people can easily because successful.

Finally, I eagerly point out that it is impossible to like others and paying much attention on keeping space with others is terribly harmful for us. Obviously, people have thoroughly different opinions and barely act in the same way due to their different growth condition, experience and the way ways(与前面用的different相对应) to realize external world. Reaching a common conclusion usually cost a lot of time, which is harmful for us make our own decision.
For what has been discussed above, to be being different from other people, considering and working more than others instead of liking others can help us completely for our success.不太通耶 What’s more, different opinions from other people can surely lead to creative action, which is one of most essential characters of a successful person. Finally, the disadvantage of following others should not be ignored.

整篇文章的内容很丰富,论点展开的也不错,但是有些语句不太通顺,有些词用法不当,并且小的语法错误较多,如果能再注意一下英语的表达,文章就更好了。加油哦O(_)O~

使用道具 举报

RE: Daily Writing by lz [修改]
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 立即注册

问答
Offer
投票
面经
最新
精华
转发
转发该帖子
Daily Writing by lz
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1238413-1-1.html
复制链接
发送
报offer 祈福 爆照
回顶部