dailyWriting作文本 乡亲们跟我上

乡亲们跟我上UID: 2363614

ibt的处女作呢！轻拍！

3.9 independent writing


Although some people may advocate thatteachers can talk about the social or political views in the class, however, Idefinitely believe that these subjective tendencies of the teachers themselveswould exert a negative influence on the development of the students.

The first reason involves the realresponsibility of the teachers. As a basic principle of teaching, in the class,teachers should provide the students with instructions about the fundamentalsof the knowledge, which should be objective, proven to be correct, or acceptedby the majority of the whole society. With these fundamentals, students couldarrive their own conclusion, or develop their own viewpoints based on their ownintellectual reasoning and moral judgment. This is especially true for subjectslike literature, sociology and politics. However, if the teacher talks abouttheir own attitude about political or social phenomenons, students will losethe opportunity to develop their own perspective. For example, when I was inhigh school, our American Sociology teacher, Mr. Simon, usually talked about hisown comment about the presidents of United States. I still remember that hesaid President Clinton is the greatest president in the history althoughClinton used to suffer from the sex scandal. And he expressed his hatred forPresident Bush several times. As a result, several students in the class tookhis word as the truth and they started to hate Bush without any independentjudgment.

Secondly, talking about these personalcomments about politics and society will take up time which is supposed to bespent on academic knowledge, which will be enormous loss for students. Sincepersonal comments about society or politics always involve many controversialtopics, overrated illustration on these topics may irritate debates in thestudents. Although such debate can be very interesting, it will definitelydisturb the regularity of the academic study since time for each class islimited. For example, one time in my history class, Professor Clark talks aboutthe different social structure between China and Western world and somecomments about Chinese Democracy. Because such topics are very controversial inChina, especially when talking in public, students become very exciting, andstart to debate with each other. Then almost the rest of the class was used totalking these topics. Though the debate is very impressive and delightful foreveryone, we forgot the initial academic study at all.

In conclusion, I believe that teachersshould avoid expressing their own ideas about society and politics in classes, whichwill do harm to the students' development and the regular academic study both.

乡亲们跟我上UID: 2363614

3.9 integrated writing



The lecture and the reading passage hold contradictory opinions on the topic of team work. The passage claims that team work is beneficial both to individuals and to the success of the projects. However, the lecturer gives several counterarguments.

First, the lecturer argues that team work cannot effectively take advantage of the productivity of each member in the team.  This point is contradict with the statement in the reading, which claims that team work can involve more resources and bring advantages to every team member. Some members can be very productive and contribute a lot to the whole projects. But they can not be recognized because their contributions are shared by the whole team. However, some members are very idle and do very little work to the whole projects.

The lecturer also says that some team can spend too much time to arrive an collective agreement which will delay the projects. This also contradict with the statement that team work can finish the project faster. Since different members have different opinions about which approach should be adopted to finish the projects and it can be very hard to convince the others.

Finally, the lecturer also points two tendencies in the team work which will kill creative ideas or make bad decision and even screw up the projects. This point contradicts with the reading, which claims that the team work can stimulate more creative ideas. The first possible trouble is that one or two member in the group can be very influential and they may deny some great suggestions or proposals, therefore kill some creative ideas. These influential members can also stick to some dangerous proposals which will leave the whole project into possible failure. Though some other members will warn them about the possible failure, they are too arrogant and totally ignore these warnings. If the whole project fails, the responsibilities will be shared by all the members in the group.

乡亲们跟我上UID: 2363614

2# 乡亲们跟我上


写错题目了。。重新写了一份，求批改
Acording to the listening material, the new guidelines adopted by the United Kindom government has greatly change the poor situation of Britain archaeology mentioned in the reading passages.
First, the reading passage mentioned that the construction has ruined the archaeological remains which is highly valuable for academic research. However, the professor said that new guideline require that before the constructions begin, the archaeologists are allowed to examine whether the location has anything worth to study. If there are any findings in the spot, the local government and the construction company should cooperate with the archaeologisy to preserve the artifacts.
Second, the reading passage mentioned that the archaeologists suffers from the lack of fundings for their research since the financial support of the government is limited. However, the professor said the new guideline requires that the construction company should provide fundings for the archaeology research rather than paid by the government, which greatly encourage the research of the archaeology.
Thirdly, the reading passage states that finding a job in archaeology is very difficult and therefore fewer students decides to pursue a career in archaeplogy. However, according to the professor, the new guideline will create more jobs in archaeology through activating the whole process of archaeology research. And in fact, more and more students tend to start their career in archaeology and the number of jobs related to archaeology now is the highest in the Britain history.

beangtUID: 2691375

Acording to the listening material, the new guidelines adopted by the United Kindom government has greatly changed the poor situation of Britain archaeology mentioned in the reading passages., i7 y$ j!
First, the reading passage mentioned that the construction has ruined the archaeological remains which is (are) highly valuable for academic research. However, the professor said that new guideline require that before the constructions begin, the archaeologists are allowed (跟前面的require重复了感觉) to examine whether the location has anything worth to study (worthy studing). If there are any findings in the spot, the local government and the construction company should cooperate with the archaeologisy (archaeologists) to preserve the artifacts.
: J7 l8 [  @, W! L. f# iSecond, the reading passage mentioned that the archaeologists suffers from the lack of fundings for their research since the financial support of the government is limited. However, the professor said the new guideline requires that the construction company should provide fundings for the archaeology research rather than paid by the government, which greatly encourage the research of the archaeology.4 x9 a0 u# ]" o0 A& X0 S$ _
Thirdly, the reading passage states that finding a job in archaeology is very difficult and therefore fewer students decides to pursue a career in archaeplogy. However, according to the professor, the new guideline will create more jobs in archaeology through activating the whole process of archaeology research. And in fact, more and more students tend to start their career in archaeology and the number of jobs related to archaeology now is the highest in the Britain history.
写的不错，在表述上有一些小问题。听力基本点都有了，不过最好再扩充一下，据说综合写作的得分点就是信息量+逻辑.

乡亲们跟我上UID: 2363614

3.10
独立加综合，求批改，谢谢！

ningzhithmUID: 2680175

Acording to the listening material, the new guidelines adopted by the United Kindom government has greatly change the poor situation of Britain archaeology mentioned in the reading passages（这词有点别扭).
First, the reading passage mentioned（过去时？） that the construction has（时态前后不一致） ruined the archaeological remains which is （are）highly valuable for academic research. However, the professor said that new guideline require(复数 时态) that before the constructions begin, the archaeologists are allowed（required） to examine whether the location has anything worth（worthy） to study. If there are any findings （应用单数）in the spot, the local government and the construction company should cooperate with the archaeologisy （拼写）to preserve the artifacts.
Second, the reading passage mentioned that the archaeologists suffers from the lack of fundings for their research since the financial support of the government is limited. However, the professor said the new guideline requires that the construction company should provide fundings for the archaeology research rather than paid by the government, （这个句子有问题，主语和 rather than paid 不搭）which greatly encourage the research of the archaeology.
Thirdly, the reading passage states that finding a job in archaeology is very difficult and therefore fewer students decides to pursue a career in archaeplogy. However, according to the professor, the new guideline will create more jobs in archaeology through activating the whole process of archaeology research. And in fact, more and more students tend to start their career in archaeology and the number of jobs related to archaeology now is the highest in the Britain history.

语法还要注意啊
加油

beangtUID: 2691375

Although some young talents are told that trying different job in early years will enrich their experience and help to build a successful career, I definitely disagree with this viewpoint.

First, trying different jobs without sensible guidance will decrease the possibility of final success. I believe that everyone should pursue a career based on his or her intrinsic motivation and sincere honesty. As far as I am concerned, this is the only (绝对了) way to achieve a successful career. Spending times on jobs which are not suitable for one, even if it will bring one fame and money, it is not a good choice for the long term. In fact, wasting too much time on these jobs will hamper your future career; I mean the real career (有点口语化，建议改), the career you hope to pursue from your inner heart. Take Steven Jobs as an example, the CEO of Apple Corporation. When he is (was) a poor student, he determined to create a computer company with his own special style. He had never spent time on other jobs and finally he made it and changed the world. His preservance on the same job with highly (high) concentration on one specific field helps him to success. So if you like one job, just stick to it, and never switch to others.

Second, switching between different jobs may risk ruining the real talents and make them feeling lost and confused. Young people always tend to be influenced by the social popular trends or fancy ideas. Then they will follow these tendencies without serious consideration. However, this can destroy their talents, which are the presents given by the God. For example, in the last decades, finance and business are extremely popular. Doing business or stock investments are so attractive for young students that almost 70% of the fresh graduates went to do business. Even if some of them are supposed to become musicians or sports players. Unfortunately, after several thriving years, business starts to go down. These students felt very lost. Even more sadly, they also missed their primal years to become great musicians or sports heroes.


In conclusion, I believe young people should stick to the job which can best exert their own talents, rather than switching between different jobs.

结构，观点，展开，例子都没有什么问题，我觉得写的特别标准化。语言顺畅，不算华丽，错误也比较少。有些表述，个人觉得少用you, your之类的词，让人读着不舒服。加了个油~

ChwyUID: 3027653

独立修改


Although some young talents are told that trying different job in early years will enrich their experience and help to build a successful career, I definitely disagree with this viewpoint.
开头段多写两句吧。

First, trying different jobs without sensible guidance will decrease the possibility of final success. I believe that everyone should pursue a career based on his or her intrinsic motivation and sincere honesty. As far as I am concerned, this is the only way to achieve a successful career. Spending times on jobs which are not suitable for one, even if it will bring one fame and money, it is not a good choice for the long term. In fact, wasting too much time on these jobs will hamper your避免出现这种第二人称 future career; I mean建议用书面化表达 the real career, the career you hope to pursue from your inner heart. Take Steven Jobs as an example, the CEO of Apple Corporation. When he is时态，was a poor student, he determined to create a computer company with his own special style. He had never spent time on other jobs and finally he made it and changed the world觉得这个是不是有点夸张，change people’s daily life吧. His preservance on the same job with highly concentration on one specific field helps him to success. So if you like one job, just stick to it, and never switch to others.

Second, switching between different jobs may risk ruining the real talents and make them feeling lost and confused. Young people always tend to be influenced by the social popular trends or fancy ideas. Then they will follow these tendencies without serious consideration. However, this can destroy their talents, which are the presents given by the God感觉有点在刻意加字数. For example, in the last decades, finance and business are extremely popular. Doing business or stock investments are so attractive for young students that almost 70% of the fresh graduates went to do business. Even if some of them are supposed to become musicians or sports players. Unfortunately, after several thriving years, business starts to go down. These students felt very lost. Even more sadly, they also missed their primal years to become great musicians or sports heroes.


In conclusion, I believe young people should stick to the job which can best exert their own talents, rather than switching between different jobs.

建议五段式。开头结尾不要就写一两句。段内论证可以适当变变。

乡亲们跟我上UID: 2363614

3.11 综合

The reading passage states that the Torreya taxifoha are dying out and it gives out three possible solutions. However, the professor says these three solutions are not convincing and refutes each one with some reasons.

First the professor says that the climate of the entire Florida has undertaken huge change, which is possibly influenced by the global warming in a larger horizon. As a result, the same location, which is dramatically affected by the region climate changes, becomes drier and the wet land there started to drain out of water. So this kind of climate is not suitable for Torreya anymore. Then the reestablishing Torreya in the same location will definitely fail.

Second, the professor also believes that simply moving Torreya to an entirely different location will be a bad decision. According to the lecture, new problem will occur in case of the migration of new species. She takes another tree called black locust tree as example, which was moved to northern area. This kind of tree grew so thrive that they endanger other species of local trees to extinction. So such tragedy could also happen for Torreya's case.

For the third solution suggested in the reading passage, the professor also believe not appliable. The professor says that the environment of the research centers can not provide the diverse elements which are needed by the growth of the Torreya taxifoha. So these Torreya taxifoha will suffer from disease and finally die out.

In conclusion, with the three reasons mentioned above, the professor totally refutes the solutions provided in the reading passage.

bibby00888UID: 2908529

3.10综合批改

乡亲们跟我上UID: 2363614

3.11 独立


To survive from this highly capitalized society, knowing how to correctly mange one's wallet with a sensible financial sense is of vital importance for every individual. This ability, as far as I am concerned, should definitely be trained at a young age.

First, learning how to dealing with money at a young age can help young kids to have a realistic understanding of money. Sooner or later, children will face the adult world, in which money is playing an extremely important role. Therefore, teachers and parents should intentionally create some training tasks to simulate the adult world for the children. Take my friend bill as an example. When I first met him in junior school, he has already somewhat economic independent. Every month his parents gave him some money and he was free to decide how to spend the money within this month. He planned carefully how much money should be spent on each thing from junior school. When he went to college, he started to invest stock and even earns considerable amounts of money. I think his impressive sense of investment should be attributed to his parents.

Second, having a financial education can help children to become independent and responsible adults in the future. Since financial independence is the most convincing proof of growing up, such education or training stages are very crucial for the children. Also such education can prevent children to become a generation of spoiled. For example, the girl lived neighbor to me, Amie, her parents loved him so much that she never had the opportunity to manage her own money even in college. Her parents would buy whatever she wanted and whenever she wanted money, she just asked her Dad for one more credit card. However, after she graduated and found her own job, she found that every month, she spent much more money than she earned. And in the end of each month, she was always worried about how to pay for her bills.

In conclusion, children should definitely be trained to manage money at a young age. Correspondingly, parents and teachers also should intentionally focus on this kind of education and create some opportunity to practice for children.

葵葵酱UID: 2989172

9# 乡亲们跟我上

ChwyUID: 3027653

独立修gia

To survive from this highly capitalized society, knowing how to correctly mange one's wallet with a sensible financial sense is of vital importance for every individual. This ability, as far as I am concerned, should definitely be trained at a young age.$ _8 C( u; P- B1 F$ j3 K

First, learning how to dealing with money at a young age can help young kids太口语化了 to have a realistic understanding of money. Sooner or later, children will face the adult world, in which money is playing an extremely important role.有点半句没写完的感觉
你看是不是可以说孩子面对这个钱当道的社会的可能结果
因为你后面直接就therefore了
我觉得你前面没有推地很请详细 Therefore, teachers and parents should intentionally create some training tasks to simulate the adult world for the children. Take my friend bill as an example. 我是不晓得名人例子是不是会更有说服力When I first met him in junior school, he has already somewhat economic independent. Every month his parents gave him some money and he was free to decide how to spend the money within this month. He planned carefully how much money should be spent on each thing from junior school. When he went to college, he started to invest stock and even earns considerable amounts of money. I think用其他词替换下会不会比较好 his impressive sense of investment should be attributed to his parents.+ S6 `

Second, having a financial education can help children to become independent and responsible adults in the future. Since financial independence is the most convincing proof of growing up, such education or training stages are very crucial for the children. Also such education can prevent children to become a generation of spoiled.这个观点赞！ For example, the girl lived neighbor to me, Amie, her parents loved him so much that she never had the opportunity to manage her own money even in college. Her parents would buy whatever she wanted我是觉得用want and whenever she wanted money, she just asked her Dad for one more credit card. However, after she graduated and found her own job, she found that every month, she spent much more money than she earned. And in the end of each month, she was always worried about how to pay for her bills.

In conclusion, children should definitely be trained to manage money at a young age. Correspondingly, parents and teachers also should intentionally focus on this kind of education and create some opportunity改成复述 to practice for children.

观点很清晰！

hcp4715UID: 2697633

11# 乡亲们跟我上 3.11号独立作文修改！ 3.11 independent writing（rev. by hcp4715P.doc (33 KB, 下载次数: 4)

2011-3-12 19:03:26 上传

下载次数: 4

赞楼主！