8924570的托福作文贴

qianhuangUID: 2766587

5月6日 独立 修改

892524570UID: 2975104

给姐姐批改的   谢谢姐姐！

892524570UID: 2975104

5月7日     独立       作文            批改的同学 谢谢啦   麻烦重点帮我看看语法

das_postkarteUID: 3012913

5.7独立批改好了~ 33# 892524570

das_postkarteUID: 3012913

谢谢你的批改，对我很有帮助~

liwu1028UID: 2921130

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: young people should try different job before they decide which job or career they will do in the long term?谢谢批改的同学！

  
In the contemporary society, people have more and more job opportunities. Many adults suggest young people need try some different jobs before they have long term career. I totally agree with this wonderful suggestion.

First of all, it is good (favorable)不用太多这种词汇 for young people's future. Young people will reap benefits from trying different jobs. After a period of work time, young people will know which job they are good at and which job is more suitable for them. If one chooses a job which he can do well as（in） his career, he will easier to succeed than other in the future.

Second, young people will get many precious experiences from doing different jobs. Those precious experiences are very helpful. For example, Tom is a famous journalist in my hometown. When he was young he tried many jobs. Before he decided to be a journalist, he learns （learned）how to use photoshop2.0 when he was a photographer. He learns how to write story when he work 注意时态in library. Now, he always use photoshop2.0 fix his news photos and use his writing skills record news. He is very successful.

From what has been discussed above, I believe that young people need to try different jobs. I totally agree with it.  
感觉写的有点简单，例子论证不是很充分，而且字数也不是很够吧。感觉第二段是第一段的一个例证。楼主可以再写一段进行不同工作的好处，比如刚刚大学毕业不知道自己的兴趣，如果没有尝试只能听取别人的意见，但这些也许不适合自己，长久以来失去自信。通过尝试不同工作可以培养能力，增加人脉，解决各方面困难等~

mpromanusUID: 2565872

32# 892524570

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