一篇简单明瞭的范文！每日一评之7.15.！

tomatoeggsUID: 82073

Issue94
"Universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study because acquiring knowledge of various academic disciplines is the best way to become truly educated."
这个话题很明显可以持同意立场，因为对于这种正面话题，很少有充足的反驳理由。所以，并不是任何issue都要刻意去找茬的。


I fundamentally agree with the proposition that students must take courses outside their major field of study to become "truly educated." A contrary position would reflect a too narrow view of higher education and its proper objectives. Nevertheless, I would caution that extending the proposition too far might risk undermining those objectives.第一段总的来说还是站支持立场的，但作者还是指出不能“过犹不及”。


The primary reason why I agree with the proposition is that "me" education amounts to far more than gaining the knowledge and ability to excel in one's major course of study and in one's professional career. True education also facilitates an understanding of one- self, and tolerance and respect for the viewpoints of others. Courses in psychology, sociology, and anthropology all serve these ends. "True" education also provides insight and perspective regarding one's place in society and in the physical and metaphysical worlds. Courses in political science, philosophy, theology, and even sciences such as astronomy and physics can help a student gain this insight and perspective. Finally, no student can be truly educated without having gained an aesthetic appreciation of the world around us--through course work in literature, the fine arts, and the performing arts.第二段着重陈述什么才叫做真正的education了，他从3个方面来论述自己对true education的定义。也就是说，要涉猎广泛才能成为全才。


Becoming truly educated also requires sufficient mastery of one academic area to permit a student to contribute meaningfully to society later in life. Yet, mastery of any specific area requires some knowledge about a variety of others. 注意这里的论证方法，指出专攻一门与涉足多门知识的相辅相成关系。For example, a political-science student can fully understand that field only by understanding the various psychological, sociological, and historical forces that shape political ideology. An anthropologist cannot excel without understanding the social and political events that shape cultures, and without some knowledge of chemistry and geology for performing field work. Even computer engineering is intrinsically tied to other fields, even non-technical ones such as business, communications, and media.


Nevertheless, the call for a broad educational experience as the path to becoming truly educated comes with one important caveat. A student who merely dabbles in a hodgepodge of academic offerings, without special emphasis on any one, becomes a dilettante lacking enough knowledge or experience in any single area to come away with anything valuable to offer.到了这一段也就指出在顾及其他学科的同时，决不能忽视自己的份内事了。不然这就好比蜻蜓点水，样样都不精了。 Thus in the pursuit of true education students must be careful not to overextend themselves----or risk defeating an important objective of education.        既然前面已经就正面立场作了较详细地论述，而且作者也洒了重墨在那儿，所以，这一段就没有多费口水了，不然反而会适得其反，喧宾夺主了。


In the final analysis, to become truly educated one must strike a proper balance in one's educational pursuits. Certainly, students should strive to excel in the specific requirements of their major course of study. However, they should complement those efforts by pursuing course work in a variety of other areas as well. By earnestly pursuing a broad education one gains the capacity not only to succeed in a career, but also to find purpose and meaning in that career as well as to understand and appreciate the world and its peoples. To gain these capacities is to become "truly educated."

全文无太多的难词，但是思维清晰，观点鲜明，这一点是值得借鉴的，但我觉得还是缺乏必要的贴近我们时代的例子，作者还是以说理为主，相比较于6分范文，还是缺少必要的有深度的句子。不过，这篇不失为一篇好文章。

goldeneagleUID: 31391

总的看来，这篇文章在叙述论证的时候多采取了平行的写法，比如The primary reason; Finally等等。这样虽然句子都支持论点，但论证与论证之间是缺乏紧密联系的。

好的文章，论证的力量体现在逻辑的运用上。以第二段为例，如果将学生学习专业知识并将其成功运用于未来职业生涯的道路实现归结为几个步骤：了解自身兴趣——》学习专业知识——》了解社会及其需要——》同外部交流——》贡献社会，并以不同的科目为例子说明它们在不同环节中重要作用的话，一个层次感强并且相互联系的论证群就可以形成了。‘学生必须在专业课外获取知识’的论点也就自然得到了证明。相反，论证的多少倒不显得十分重要。

请大家多比较一下5分和6分的作文吧。其中的差距自然会体会到的。

另：tomatoeggs，你的签名档真是精彩。

tomatoeggsUID: 82073

谢谢goldenangel的提醒，我承认我在逻辑上还需加强自身修养。是的，我有时想问题仍然停留在某一平行层面上，缺乏层次感。再次诚挚致谢。

你说我的签名档如何？？？不懂你的意思。

goldeneagleUID: 31391

咦，这是你自己写的吗，写得挺不错的哦。

开始我还以为是拿了人家文章来分析的。从词语和句式的应用上来看我在想是不是北美学生写的。确实不错。

签名档----tomatoeggs的签名档不是粤语写的吗，笑死我了。：）

mengliwangUID: 137853

这篇文章　我见过　好象在老外２８０　篇
那里的风格都这样　很轻盈明了

feier521UID: 109747

蛋蛋，久违了！
：D

tomatoeggsUID: 82073

最初由 goldeneagle 发布
[B]咦，这是你自己写的吗，写得挺不错的哦。

开始我还以为是拿了人家文章来分析的。从词语和句式的应用上来看我在想是不是北美学生写的。确实不错。

签名档----tomatoeg..

以下省略...... [/B]

这不是我写的，这来自208篇范文。你提的建议很好，我接受。

ken0405UID: 124994

hehe
很久没有习惯看前面的贴之了
今天一看
看都你的贴字
倍感亲切
当然，谢谢你的指导！

angeikimUID: 4857

:p 谢谢蛋蛋经典点评^_^