[未归类] 小弟的第一篇Argu.A51 求大神帮忙改改急急 [复制链接]

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发表于 2011-3-30 07:09:43 |显示全部楼层

小弟我5月初考AW 因为各种原因现在才开始准备.心里特别急不知道能不能在短时间内有一个提高.心里老是很忐忑,不能静下来.求高手们多给我指点下.真的谢谢了
A51.如下:
The conclusion reached in this argument that the patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment since there is an assumption that the secondary infection may be harmful of healing quickly after severe muscle strain. To validate his point of view, the author presented two groups of patients , and showed that the first group have antibiotics regularly healed more quickly than the second group which were given sugar pills instead of antibiotics. This conclusion seems to be obviously reasonable at the first thought, however, the author fails to consider other elements necessary to evaluate the situation.

First of all, the author ignores to show us whether the two groups of patients are in the same physical conditions ,even does not inform us about the severity of their injures. For example, if there are all teenagers in the first group while all elder in the second group, it is quite possible that it is the age difference that affected the result of the experiment. Also, if the patients in the first group that suffer the more serious muscle strain than the second group would also lead to this consequence.

Secondly, the two cited group can not make a correct analogy due to that Dr. Newland who specializes in sports medicine may be better than Dr. Alton who work as a general physician in treating muscle strain. What's more, there may be other differences treatment offered between the two doctors. Those may including that the treating means, treating environment and many more. So if the author cannot get rid of these interference, the conclusion that the difference time which the two groups cost is due to whether they have the antibiotics or not would not be suitable.

Even ignore these factors above, the author cannot convince me that not all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain will suffer from secondary infections. As we all known, the secondary infections can be avoided in many ways which such as having a suitable recover schedule, avoiding eating the junk food or staying at a clean and tidy place. In this aspect ,not all the patients who suffer a muscle strain should take antibiotics.

Before I come to my conclusion it is necessary to point out another flow in the argument. not all patients with muscle strain are suitable to taking antibiotics. The author obviously ignore that the antibiotics may bring about many side-effect, such as the relytionship on the antibiotics or that may be harmful to the body.

After elaborate consideration, the author lacks not only sufficient evidences but also detailed reasoning to make a persuasive argument.

谢谢大家了