【Daily Writing】das_postkarte的作文贴~请大家多多批评~！

das_postkarteUID: 3012913

2011.4.13
独立写作 If child want to do well in school, parents should limit the hours of watching TV programs or movies

Many parents consider that if children don't do well in school always because of watching TV programs or movies too much without control. Hence a lot of parents will limit time for children to watch TV or movies. Personally, I don't think it is necessary. Why do you think if a child can not watch TV or movies, he only has to do homework or reading books? What is the most, watching TV programs and movies isn't harmful to study, while children can learn from them easily with fun and impressed deeply. In addition, a child without the ability of self-control and must be limited by parents, he will also do not well in school. Instead limiting the hours for watching TV programs or movies of giving space for children to self-control is more important. When a child grows up and attends in a college without parents' limits, he needs to decide how many hours for studying and how many hours for fun. So parents need not to limit the hours for fun.

das_postkarteUID: 3012913

额，我没有找到怎么发附件。。。所以。。。只能。。。。见上。。。

snowlauraUID: 2872328

:loveliness:

I-yiUID: 2951191

红色字体为我给你改的。
2011.4.13
独立写作
If child want to do well in school, parents should limit the hours of watching TV programs or movies 7 O. X: i: B+ N0 f( M. z

Many parents consider that [url=]if[/url][s1] children do not study well in school always because of watching TV programs or movies too much without control. Hence a lot of parents [url=]will[/url][s2] limit the time for children to watch TV or movies. Personally, I do not think it is necessary. Can you imagine that if a child can not watch TV or movies, he only has to do homework or [url=]reading[/url][s3] books?[url=] What is the most, watching TV programs and movies isn't harmful to studying ([/url]这里的to是介词，不是不定式), while children can learn from them easily with fun and impressed deeply.[s4] In addition, a child without the ability of self-control and must be limited by parents[url=], he will also do not [/url][s5] well in school. Instead[url=] limiting the hours for watching TV programs or movies of giving space for children to self-control is more important.[/url][s6] When a child grows up and attends in a college without parents' limit, he needs to decide [url=]how many hours for studying and how many hours for fun[/url][s7] . So parents need not to limit the hours [url=]for fun[/url][s8] .

这是我再snowlaura同学 修改的基础上改的。

ＴＯＥＦＬ考试中不可以出现　ｄｏｎ＇ｔ　ｉｔ＇ｓ　这种简写形式，一定要写全了。

字数少的不行了，而且中式英语的句子也不少。多多练习吧。　一起加油！

[s1]（去掉）



[s2]would 表示客观意愿，不是将要发生的行动



[s3]read 和do homework并列，前后形式要一致



[s4]这个观点挺好的



[s5]hardly will do， 比较简洁吧而且更严谨



[s6]这句感觉头重脚轻，建议改用it is +adj表语+n实际主语的句式



[s7]independently，简洁！



[s8]建议作文中关键词只换表达方式不换意思，fun严重扩大了watching TV的意思，不太妥

das_postkarteUID: 3012913

2011.4.14

Do you agree or disagree?

Do you agree or not with following statement: most people solve their important problems by themselves or with the help from their families; the help from government is not necessary.

Family is a harbor, and whenever you tired, upset, it is always there. Spontaneously, most people solve their important problems by themselves or with the help from their families, while the help from government often comes to second or be ignored.
First of all, family members know our actual situation and can give us suggestions usefully and practically. Families are acquainted with our personalities and can give us advices relatively. For example, we student are faced a challenge to choose career. Some job information provided by government is significant and let we know the job tendency. However, the tendency may be not appropriate and helpful. We should choose a fit job based on personality. In the case, families always can assist better.
In addition, government’s help is limitation. On the some extent, governments can only offer financial support and policy support by providing a loan or reducing fees and
offering convenience. So it is useless for us in solving some personal problems, like emotional problems. Naturally, when we are confused with emotional problems, mostly we just want to say something to release unhappiness or sadness to someone such as family members and close friends.
Also when we get help from families, we often feel warm and happy, because we are in love with them. To solve problems together with families can not only let members know each other better, but also can make the family more united.
To sum up, when get trouble, family members can give a better suggestion to help you come across.It is unilateral to put the help of government in the second place.


刚又修改了下~发的晚了，给批改的添麻烦了~~~不好意思，下次一定注意~！！！:loveliness:

das_postkarteUID: 3012913

谢谢批改~~建议很有用！！:) 我会努力的~
4# I-yi

das_postkarteUID: 3012913

突然发现悲剧了。。。我貌似把4.14的写离题了，写成了哪个更重要。。。:shutup:额，凑合着看吧，我真丢人！

snowlauraUID: 2872328

:loveliness: 谢谢你给我的软件！

das_postkarteUID: 3012913

415独立：
It’s more important for the government to build art museums and music performance centers than to build recreational devices, such as swimming pool and playgrounds.

Disagree

With the fast developing and increasing living condition, people are no longer contented with having enough food, comfortable house or other life necessities. Some recreational devices such as art museums, music performance centers, swimming pools and playgrounds, are longed for eagerly to provide places for us to relax ourselves after tired work and improve the comprehensive quality. When governments build these infrastructures, there is a discussion about which is more important to build between cultural devices like art museums, music performance centers and recreational devices such as swimming pools and playgrounds. As far as I concerned, regardless of their diverse functions, both are equally important and necessary and needed for people to have a good time.
First of all, building these instruments is all aimed at promoting people’s standard of living and satisfying different people’s requirements, which is also governments’ duties, so there is no need to care about which is more significant. Working and studying all the time, especially sitting still and lacking to physical exercise can make people sub-healthy, feeling tired easily. As a healthy and strong body is the basic for us to study and work efficiently and effectively, fitness facilities like swimming pools and gymnasiums are useful. Not only a physical healthy body, do we need to be mentally healthy. Art exhibitions in art museums as well as operas and concerts in music performance centers can cultivate people's taste and improve their appreciations of art, making life colorful and diverse.
In addition, operas and art performances may be beyond children, while playgrounds are their paradises. Also not all people can appreciate and enjoy art performance, they are just appropriate for simple happiness and physical stimulation, preferring climbing mountains, swimming, going hiking and so on. So government should offer other assistance and convenience for citizens besides creational devices and art devices.
To sum up, government should build art museums and art performance centers as well as swimming pools and playgrounds to fulfill people’s various need and provide more choices for people to enjoy life.

我的权限还不可以发附件，只能直接贴上，麻烦批改的同学了！我的基础不是很好，会有很多错误和问题，请狠狠批，谢谢~！！！:loveliness:

niehanmjUID: 3005699

4.14日独立批改 对不起批改晚了~ 见谅

凉言UID: 2996787

改好了~

das_postkarteUID: 3012913

:loveliness: 谢啦~~辛苦啦~~我的基础比较差，改的一定很辛苦！ 10# niehanmj

das_postkarteUID: 3012913

416 独立~~
感觉写的有点难受，辛苦批改的同学了~~！:loveliness:

das_postkarteUID: 3012913

哎，每次都交作业那么晚，自我批评中...面壁思过去了..........

lv1015UID: 2505136

:) 改好了 13# das_postkarte