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[未归类] 翔子的作文贴 [复制链接]

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发表于 2011-5-16 20:47:33 |只看该作者
5.16 独立

5.16 独立.doc

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发表于 2011-5-16 23:55:31 |只看该作者
5.16 独立 改好了

5.16zjxd-revised by JuLian.doc

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已有 1 人评分声望 收起 理由
hcp4715 + 1 楼主改得真赞啊!!

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发表于 2011-5-17 16:19:46 |只看该作者
16# zjxdxokzzy 加油!

zjxdxokzzy(翔子) 5.16 独立 rev. by hcp.doc

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发表于 2011-5-17 21:53:38 |只看该作者
5.17 独立

5.17 独立.doc

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发表于 2011-5-18 13:01:15 |只看该作者
语言没什么大问题,都挺好的,就第二段开头的第一句话~
As the movies and televisions becoming popular among young children, they also have a big influence on themAs the movies and televisions becoming popular,they also have a big influence on young children
.
你写得真的和我写的很像,连让步的理由都一样!所以我个人认为逻辑框架什么的没问题啦!
第二个理由happy mood 我们写得不一样,我觉得如果真的要举例子的话,可以举loving movie,毕竟 爱情片中有情人终成眷属的比比皆是,从中作梗的人也肯定不会有好的下场。
个人意见,如有异议,欢迎联系,共同进步!
豆包要去纽约!

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发表于 2011-5-19 00:26:19 |只看该作者
5,17Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Movies and televisions should always show audience good people being rewarded and bad people being punished.091017NA7

Nowadays, movies and televisions have become independent in people’s daily life as a growing number of people pay more attention on entertainment. Among these audiences, some, including me, say that movies and television programs should show good people being rewarded and bad people being punished.

As the movies and televisions becoming popular among young children, they also have a big influence on them. A large amount of teenagers learn the characters and plots they see in movies and televisions. For instance, once a movie called Hooligans was very popular in my school and many of my classmates imitate the characters in it. During that period of time, an increasing number of fight events came up. Thus, movies should consider the moral standards which could be accept ( accepted in the society in order to avoid leading teenagers to crimes.

What’s more, good plots can lead audience into a happy mood. As the survey shows that the most popular films are those show the villain comes to a sticky end. Many people watch movies for relax(relaxation) so they don’t want to see bad ends which destroy their mood and that is why gangster films have a high popularity because they always show good people being rewarded and bad people being punished. ( 例子实在举不出,没有电影库存啊= =..) 不一定要gangsters 之类的电影啊。你举例《spider man》也同样可以

Admittedly, most people are bored of those movies that they can predict the end before watching and thus, they want something exciting like bad people win the success at the end. But I really doubt it. I think they can make the plots various and beyond expectation to hold audience’ interests ( and at last show a good end. )这里想说什么?不懂!!此段落应该更加深入地论证你的观点。比如你说 bad people gain success at last 可以给人们带来什么样的启发之类的。只是这么论述就太空洞了。

In a word, movies that show good people being rewarded and bad people being punished are more popular among people and they also show the moral standards that are accept by the society.

还有注意一些用词的准确性!!

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发表于 2011-5-20 16:53:08 |只看该作者
5.20 独立

5.20 独立.doc

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发表于 2011-5-21 02:24:25 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 phoenix2011 于 2011-5-21 02:31 编辑

希望楼主看了我的修改不要生气

5.20 reviewed by phoenix2011.doc

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发表于 2011-5-21 23:11:43 |只看该作者
不好意思....今天各种事情,现在才把作文改出来

5.20 独立(翔子).doc

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杀T

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发表于 2011-5-23 21:19:11 |只看该作者
5.23独立

5.23独立 by翔子.doc

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发表于 2011-5-23 23:23:31 |只看该作者
5月23日 独立 修改

5.23独立 by翔子.doc

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发表于 2011-5-25 22:10:53 |只看该作者
5.25 独立

5.25 独立 by翔子.doc

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发表于 2011-5-25 23:21:03 |只看该作者
The third paragraph does not have stronge convincing argument.

5.23独立 by翔子.doc

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发表于 2011-5-26 08:59:43 |只看该作者
5月25 独立 修改

5.25 独立 by翔子.doc

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All is well.

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发表于 2011-6-1 21:11:03 |只看该作者
6.1独立+综合

6.1 独立.doc

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6.1 综合.doc

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RE: 翔子的作文贴 [修改]

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