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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Success is one of the crucial life goals for everyone. It requires a host of prerequisites and great deal of efforts. Clearly, for students, sitting in the classroom to acquire boring knowledge (You seem to assume that knowledge acquired this way must be ‘boring’. Is this a valid assumption? Why?) is insufficient to bring them a desirable job (I thought you were talking about ‘success’, and here you turn abruptly into ‘job’. Do you mean ‘success’ == a desirable job’? Do not simplify the question into individual words – the question is about ‘success in a future job’ as a whole phrase, not the word ‘success’ + the word ‘job’.). They need the ability of communication and chances to practice mingling with people.

Even though the information and contents in our textbooks and lessons are worth learning, it (I am now confused by what exactly you are trying to refer to by the singular ‘it’, since there was a plural ‘are’ in the first part of this sentence. Make sure the singular/plural usage is consistent.) is still too tedious for students to keep focus and remember for later use. The best way out is to put it into practice, especially with your friends or classmates. The meaningful lessons usually come from the daily communication with different people for some practical purposes. For instance, in my marketing class, the professor extremely (You don’t ‘encourage’ people ‘extremely’. If you are trying to translate 极力鼓励, it would be something more like ‘tries hard to encourage’.) encourages us to try to sell some products such as insurances to ordinary consumers, because only through communicating with customers (This is not ‘relate well to people’. You’re assuming ‘relate well to people’ to be ‘communicate with people’. They are not the same. For this particular question, ‘relate well to people’ can be interpreted as similar to ‘communicate well with people’, but you must establish this as a basis of your discussion in the opening paragraph. Without establishing that before you start the discussion, you’re again making an unwarranted assumption on what the question is actually about. Also, you’re illustrating the point that success needs practice of communication, rather than success needs good capability to communicate – because the emphasis of your example is about practicing communication in real, ‘customer’ settings. ) can we have a better understanding of the strategies mentioned in his lecture. Obviously, a promising career calls for more social practices than mechanically reciting conceptions in books.

More importantly, a good team is the most vital factor in determining a successful profession. A prominent group can provide us with more inspirations due to the variety of thoughts from various members. (Why must it be a ‘prominent’ team then? If you’re looking for ‘variety’ of ideas, then it’s the ‘variety’ or ‘diversity’ of the team that counts, isn’t it? Whether this team is prominent or not is of no relevance – unless you assume that ‘prominent’ team must mean more various thoughts. Then again, I need to ask you why you would think this way.) To get the whole team working, it necessitates the leader of the team a great capacity of organization (You could just simply say ‘it is necessary for the leader to have a great capacity of organization’. The use of ‘necessitate’ is hardly necessary in normal real-life scenarios – and using it wrongly will only tarnish your essay.). In addition, the group also needs a highly structured communication system to ensure the information can be efficiently delivered. Certainly, individuals can't do it well merely by studying a textbook’s passages, so there is no better way other than to exercise how to deal with relationships and lead people when individual in campus?? (Again, you are putting the focus on ‘practicing communication’ - ‘exercise how to deal with…’ - rather than ‘good communication capability is important to success in job’. The question is NOT asking if it is necessary to practice communication skills in school. It is asking whether good communication capability is important – whether this good capability is acquired through born nature or practicing in school is totally irrelevant).

It is undeniable that the achievements of a person in the present-day society depend largely on the social network he shares. Currently, the specialization of people’s skills decides the fact that they can never have success solely relying on himself. Therefore we should carefully deal with the relationships with others in case of we want to ask for the help that they might offer. Clearly, to manage it well, it is appropriate time to establish a good social network in school by getting along with various people, rather than being a boringly studious guy. (Again, you’re focusing on HOW to acquire the communication capability that is important to success, but the question is NOT asking you for that. It doesn’t care how you should manage your network or how you should practice your marketing techniques. All it cares that you explain WHY this is MORE important than studying hard. In fact, if you stop right before the last sentence of this paragraph, it would be much, much more suitable for this question.)

For those compelling reasons, apparently a student of sociability can be more capable of taking off career (The career ‘takes off’. A person cannot ‘take off’ his career. A person can only ‘take off’ his clothes.) in the future. I would argue that if they do not pay enough attention to it, they will inevitably fail no matter how hard they studied in campus. (Compare this with the question and I think you should be able to see what I’ve been talking about for almost the whole essay: your question is not asking for whether or how students should pay attention to building their ‘sociability’. You can talk about it as a natural result of ‘why sociability is important’, but you cannot stop at talking about it. You need to go back to answer ‘why sociability is important’.)

总结：

语言上还是有不少直接翻译+拼凑的地方。但是最大的问题是论述画蛇添足–问题只是在问你哪一个能力更重要，而不是问你在学校里通过实践锻炼这个能力是不是更重要。。这个能力可以是天生的也可以是学校里来的，但是问题不管这个。。当然你可以说这个问题的潜台词就是在学校的时候锻炼这个能力比好好学习重要，但是你必须在第一段就列好你认为这个问题的潜台词是这样。。而且就算这样，论述的焦点也不应该从‘重要’变成‘实践锻炼’。。

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