karen0809的作文贴——daily writing

karen0809UID: 2551257

新手上路，求高人狠批！

karen0809UID: 2551257

5月29日的作业， TPO19，独立作文差不多写了一小时严重超时。。。 请大家指点。

一、关于buzzer做熟人广告的
The man believes that buzzing differs from normal advertisements.

First, Buzzers are often the real product users, and because they do feel the products are good, they are willing to share the experience with other people, including their acquaintances.

Second, people do not just believe what buzzers tell them. People ask questions, and if buzzers fail to give them convincing answers, they often cannot be easily persuaded.

As to the concern of harm effect to social relationships, the man thinks the concern is unnecessary. For buzzers are sincere for what they are promoting and are open to share their experiences. And this does no harm to social relationships.



二、是否同意应多渠道获取信息
With rapid development of human societies in various dimensions including cultures, technologies, arts and etc., we often hear our grandparents or even parents complain that the world are becoming strange and complex to them. They also admit that the reason why for the situation is that they are slow to learn and it's not easy for them to have access to new sources of information, like internet. Thus, if one wants to be well-informed and keep pace with the changing world, he or she had better to get information from a variety of news sources.

First, single source of information often has limits. For example, certain kind of newspaper can only provides people with major news of the city or across the country. People just can know about the framework of an event, there's no way to find more details through the newspaper. Let's take internet for another example. We can find massive information with the search engine. However, admittedly, there is too much garbage information come together to us and it wastes a lot of time to pick out useful information. I guess people who are looking for professional information prefer specialized data base than casual searching on the internet. In a word, people need to use different sources to get the targeted information.

Second, to have access to different news sources increases the efficiency of getting information. We live in a highly competed world and most of us have heavy work load or lots of homework to finish. If we just stick to one or two fixed news source, it is no doubts that we will fall behind those who have more information sources. I once took part in a contest of giving lecture. The topic was chosen half an hour before the contest. That means we only had thirty minutes to prepare for the lecture. As soon as my rival got the topic, he was in panic and started calling his friends for support. In contrast, I unhurriedly open my laptop and began to search. Not surprisingly, i won the contest, and we can safely say that it results from my efficiency in getting and organizing information.

Last but not least important, more sources of information help us save time when keep updated with the world.  Old people in china often like reading newspaper after dinner. But young people are busy and often work over time, thus they prefer have some relaxing activities to reading.  How can they keep well-informed? Well, with an electronic product at hand, young people can know about what they want to know even on bus. That explains why I phone 4 sells in large quantities even at a much higher price than most of other kinds of mobile phones. It's really cool and handy to get information.

All in all, evolution is the unchangeable trend and the updates of information become much more frequent. To keep up with the world, we need to seize as many as possible the news sources to be well-informed.

karen0809UID: 2551257

求改作文！

phoenix2011UID: 3077553

2# karen0809

qianhuangUID: 2766587

6月日 综合 修改

文章的语法什么没问题。以下提作文的总体问题。
注意需要150字以上~
一共有3个观点，你只写了2个，不过这2个都是对的。
建议参考1-2篇无老师的综合范文，学习怎么写综合作文。

xiangtuoUID: 3047550

With rapid development of human society in various dimensions including cultures, technologies, arts and etc.(太口语了，文章中不要出现), we often hear our grandparents or even parents complain that the world are becoming strange and complex to them. They also admit that the reason why (去掉)for the situation is that they are slow to learn and it's not easy for them to have access to new sources of information, like internet. Thus, if one wants to be well-informed and keep pace with the changing world, he or she had better to get information from a variety of news sources.
First, single source of information often has limits. For example, certain kind of newspaper can only provides people with major news of the city or across the country. People just can know about the framework of an event, there's no way to （一句话前后主语不一致，替换成couldn’t）find more details through the newspaper. Let's take internet for another example. We can find massive information with the search engine. However, admittedly, there is too much garbage information come together to us and it wastes a lot of time to pick out useful information. I guess people who are looking for professional information prefer specialized data base than casual searching on the internet. In a word, people need to use(use source搭配还是有点怪，直接去掉就好了，扬长避短嘛) different sources to get the targeted information.; w: X0 P0 h( u- q- ]
Secondly, having（to 的话有为了的意思） access to different news(信息最好还是information活着message更恰当，news多强调新闻，消息之类的) sources increases the efficiency of getting information. We live in a highly competed（fierce competition 更好）world and most of us have heavy work load or lots of homework to finish. If we just stick to one or two fixed news（同上） sources（就近原则，two sources）, it is no doubt that we will fall behind those who have more information sources. I once took part in a contest of giving lecture (speech competition更地道). The topic was chosen half an hour before the contest（替换成its beginning更恰当）. That means we only had thirty minutes to prepare for the lecture. As soon as my rival got the topic, he was in panic and started calling his friends for support. In contrast, I unhurriedly opened my laptop and began to search. Not surprisingly, I won the contest, and we can safely say that it results from my high efficiency in getting and organizing information.
Last but not the least important, more sources of information help us save time when keep updated with the world. Old people in china(文章是写给老美看的，而且也不必特别强调) often like reading newspapers after dinner. But young people are busy and often work over time, thus they prefer have some relaxing activities to reading. （整个一句改成 Old people often like reading newspapers after dinner while the young prefer having some relaxing activities as they are busy and often work over time. 更紧凑而且有对比）How can they keep well-informed? Well（太口语）, with an electronic product at hand, young people can know about what they want to know even on bus. That explains why I phone（iPhone） 4 sells in large quantities even at a much higher price than most of other kinds of mobile phones. It's really cool and handy to get information.
All in all, evolution is the unchangeable trend and the updates of information become much more frequent. To keep up with the world, we need to seize as many as possible the news sources to be well-informed.

文章逻辑框架不错~结尾我很喜欢~学习了~
有异议欢迎交流

karen0809UID: 2551257

多谢phoenix2011、qianhuang 以及豆包的指点！

karen0809UID: 2551257

6.2作业

TPO3 伦勃朗的画
A panel of experts has reached the conclusion that the painting was indeed painted by Rembrandt.
First, the fur collar was not a part of the original painting. Someone increased the collar about 100 years after the painting was painted.
Secondly, the original collar turned out to be light colored cloth after the added collar removed and the light color reflects light, which illuminates the woman's face.
Thirdly, the wood panel was originally a single panel, which was found to be from the same tree just as the panel of another painting of Rembrandt, Self portrait with a hat.



6,2 There is nothing that young people can teach older people. Do you agree or disagree?

I can hardly agree with the opinion that young people can teach older people nothing. This opinion goes to extreme and is obviously unreasonable.
First, having lived longer doesn’t guarantee one become wiser. Admittedly, older people are more experienced and sophisticated. People who have lived longer have gone through more events or may have read more books. There’s a saying often quoted by old people in china:”I’ve eaten more salt than the rice you’ve eaten” or “I’ve crossed more bridges than the roads you’ve travelled”. The saying has the same problem that it exaggerates the experiences that older people have gained. Does the time spent grantee the accumulation of wisdom? I’m afraid no one can quickly say yes. If one wants to become wiser, he or she needs to spend the time properly. People who waste the time can make few achievements.
Secondly, with the expansion of knowledge, there is little chance that one could become experts in every field. Time and energy for every one is limited. People need to concentrate in one subject if they want to have some accomplishments. Thus, even an expert of one field might probably find another field quite complicated and tough. That’s why there’re so many kinds of jobs with different requirements. Even with in-house counsels, some companies still enter into contracts with outside lawyers for legal services. In one company or in a team, we often turn to others, younger or older, for help when we encounter problems that we cannot handle with.
Last but not the least, what kinds of knowledge one absorbs differs depending on intangibles such as one’s personalities and interests. For example, two persons read the same book then tell something about the book that impresses them most. I bet that they will tell different stories. Not to mention that we usually read different books, fall in love with different guys, become interested in different subjects. We keep an eye on what we care for. We observe from our own point of view. One often knows something that his parents or friends don’t familiar with. Even a child can teach adults something. My 7-year-old nephew once explained to me that why the hen broke her eggs. She said that it’s because the hen needed to take calcium supplement. I don’t know whether it’s true or not. I just don’t know the right answer.
Age is not the standard for deciding if one is wiser. And no one, even older people, knows everything. From the discussion above, I guess we can safely draw the conclusion that younger people may have something to teach older people.

qianhuangUID: 2766587

6月2日 独立 修改