argument110 关心句子结构的讨论一下

imongUID: 140258

我觉得一限制时间句子和词汇的发挥就立刻下降不少。有没有什么办法？
e.g． 今天写了一个argument，40min，感觉没有平时好。

110The following appeared in a memo from the Principal of Sherwood Junior High School.
"It appears that the lighting in Sherwood High's classrooms, which have large windows but minimal overhead light sources, is impairing student academic performance and teacher morale. Records show that during December and January, the two months with the fewest hours of daylight, attendance rates fall, average daily class participation drops, and grades decline. Teacher resignations are also highest during these months. According to a study of Tundra Vocational School, which experiences entire seasons with little daylight, students' grade point averages increased when Day Glow light bulbs, which mimic sunlight, were installed in classrooms. This study suggests that Sherwood can improve students' academic performance and teachers' morale by using Day Glow light bulbs in winter."

110
I believe the suggestion to use Day Glow light bulbs is merely an advertisement, which can hardly bring anything good to the Sherwood Junior High School. The misleading conclusion drawn here must be attributed to the flawed argument made by the inconsiderate author.

First of all, although increase in students' grade point average is observed along with the installation of Day Glow light bulbs in Tundra Vocational School, no evidence is given in the argument to justify a causal relationship between these two incidents. Actually, the author mentioned nothing about what else was going on in Tundra when the new bulbs were installed. It is possible that Tundra school authority carried out a project to improve classroom ambience at the same time. For example, desks and chairs were repaired, and walls were painted. Such improvements may have provided students in Tundra better circumstances for learning, which was responsible for the grade point average increase. Besides, it is equally possible that Tundra school used new adaptation of textbooks, which is easier than the former version, in the mean time. Since the difficulty of curricula was lessened, the improvement in students' performances is no longer surprising. Therefore, change of textbooks and classroom furnishing compete with bulb installation to be the dominant factor in students' improvements, yet without relevant information it is impossible to confirm. Hence it is senseless to say that the Day Glow light bulb alone helps elevate students' credits, when actually the bulb may have no function on them at all.

What's more, whether the genuine reason to the miserable situation in Sherwood is their poor lighting system is also worth questioning. According to their statistics, such terrible period in Sherwood Junior High School lasts only for two months ------ December and January. In this case, it is reasonable to suggest alternatives other than sunlight that result in this unsatisfying outcome. For instance, in these two winter months snowfall may be much more frequent than in any other months. Students, and teachers also, were therefore forced to spend more time traveling from home to school and vice versa everyday. As school authority suggested no solution to this problem, some teachers tended to resign and to find jobs in other areas of better climate. Moreover, students skip classes as they found it extremely hard to go to school in a blizzard. The overall result was the high resignation rate, low attendance rate, and decline in students' grade. Yet it has nothing to do with the bulb at all. Thus the Sherwood school authority is likely to benefit nothing from the installation of the new bulb.

In conclusion, the Day Glow light bulb is not a promising solution to the difficulties that Sherwood authority is facing. They should conduct an investigation on the real cause of such problem so as to get rid of this unfavorable situation. （475words）
单调，全是it is，但是又想不到别的

happyman2000UID: 136936

我也一样，没办法，多练！熟能生巧，我9月底考，时间足够我在练上50篇！

zhamiaUID: 97673

我想还是对一些句子结构不熟悉，在平时看别人的作文及范文时，看到别人的用的好词，词组就记下来，而且最好注意同一意思的不同表达，自己总结在一起，自己写完作文后一定要修改，当然还是要多加练习。看来你的意思是如果不限时就会写好一些，那也就是说你还是知道一些用法的，就是不熟，所以要在修改上多花时间了。：）

现在我头疼的是A总写的太多，轻易就写到500以上，但没限时，要写40多分钟，这样肯定不行，不知是争取写的简练好呢，还是练打字。

zhamiaUID: 97673

举例：
一般A都会用到作者提到/宣称：state/mention/indicate/assum/claim
从这一点：in this point/in this respect/for that matter