刚开始写独立写作，贴几篇请大家批评指正吧

lbingbingUID: 3006476

感觉自己的用词挺幼稚的，哎……

topic: You have enough money to purchase either a house or a business. Which would you choose to buy? Give specific reasons to explain your choice.


Some people prefer to purchase a house if they have enough money while others would like to buy a business instead. From my point of view, I will definitely choose the latter as it is more appealing to me.

Admittedly, there are a few advantages of having a house. I could imagine how great a life it is if I have a house. I can have a good rest after work. Also, a house will be a good place for me to invite my friends to. We can sing, dance and have fun once a while.

Wonderful though the advantages that having a house result in are, they can not compete with the benefits that having a business brings about, when I perceive the prospective exciting and rewarding life in the future with a business.

First of all, I am always pursuing a challenging life with excitement and something new. I have no experiences with business. So if I get a business myself, there is no doubt that I will gain lots of new knowledge with respect to it, such as how to run a company like a real businessman, how to cooperate with my partners, how to negotiate with my clients and how to make plans for the future development. It can't be more exiting for me. Meanwhile, a business is something I have to strive for. That will, needless to say, make me more responsible and sophisticated.

Besides, if the business goes well, it will help me accumulate wealth. At that time, if I want, I can purchase a house bigger than the one I can get before. I can also help other people, such as children who live in secluded villages and have little money for their books and education. What's more, if the business turns out to be successful, I may be able to contribute to the construction of my hometown, which is a fascinating way to increase the sense of self-worth.

Taking all above into account, the advantages to purchase a business surely outweigh the merits of buying a house. As I see, purchasing a business is a better decision that can give me a bright future.

lbingbingUID: 3006476

再一篇^^

TOPIC: A university plans to develop a new research center in your country. Some people want a center for business research. Other people want a center for research in agriculture (farming). Which of these two kinds of research centers do you recommend for your country? Use specific reasons in your recommendation.



Some people agree with the standpoint that the university should develop a new research center for agriculture, while other people insist that a new business research center should be built. I can not agree more to the later statement, because a business center, as I see, appears to be more suitable for my country.

A prominent reason is the great profit a successful business makes. As is well known to us, the profit that business makes usually exceed the interest that agriculture brings by far. Besides, Business creates more occupations than does agriculture. In this sense, business will bring more benefits to more people. Establishing a new research center of business will undoubtedly draw more attention to business and that will help inspire business development and that will definitely lead to the economic prosperity of my country. Furthermore, a portion of the huge profit made out of business activities can be reassigned to help agriculture and industry development, like many other countries in the world do.

Another reason that a new business center is needed, to be frank, is the bad management of companies in my country. Numerous leaders of these companies have limited knowledge of advanced business management. So making a big leap forward calls for the founding of a research center badly. If a business center is developed in the university, these businessmen can further their studies in this field, such as better ways to reduce cost and how to coordinate different departments to make them work more efficient. On the other hand, the research center can also enroll students who are determined to be devoted into business. So the center can be a firm back up of companies in my country.

It can not be denied that agriculture also plays a crucial role in national economy. Building a new research center does help the progress of agriculture. Maybe researches in agriculture can lead to lower cost of fruits and vegetables. Considerable though the advantages that a research center for agriculture causes are, they can not compete with benefits that a research for business results in, when all above discussion is taken into consideration.

With the huge profit business brings, the enormous influence on businessmen a business research center causes and the support the center offers to this field, the conclusion can be safely drawn that setting up a new business research center will be a better choice.

lbingbingUID: 3006476

又一篇，字数总算比原来多些了~~


TOPIC: Some people prefer to spend time with one or two close friends. Others choose to spend time with a large number of friends. Compare the advantages of each choice. Which of these two ways of spending time do you prefer? Use specific reasons to support your answer.


Some people prefer to spend time with one or two close friends while others choose to spend time with a large number of friends. I agree to the latter opinion. From my point of view, with a large number of friends, one can have more fun and the life will be more enjoyable.

Admittedly, it is wonderful to make one or two close friends and hang out just with them. They can get to know each other more quickly. Meanwhile, with fewer people, communication will be more effective. It will always be easier and more efficient to make a decision when they are going to plan a game, a trip or other activities. One can more likely carry on the plan according to his own will. Considerable though the advantages that hanging out with one friend or two has are, they can not compare to the benefits that going out with more friends brings.

First of all, joining a number of friends in a party or dinner has a lot of fun. Maybe they come from various countries with different customs and cultures so that one will have the opportunity to share diverse experiences with different people from all over the world. It helps broaden one's horizons. I had a British friend and a French friend in college who sought for further study there. They brought a group of friends of theirs from different country to the party. We enjoyed ourselves together playing games, sharing funny stories and life experiences. They had me know about stuff that I never heard about.

Besides, as different people have their own merits, one can learn more different spirits and good qualities from others. One person might be good at scheduling his study and life while another has a strong will and works really hard to achieve his goal. Sometimes, spending time communicating with these people can enlighten the person in some way and even help ignite his passion for struggle.

What's more, with more friends, one will obtain more information of all kind, like the housing information, shopping information and lecture information in university. In addition, talking to a wide range of friends of different academic backgrounds will, to some degree, help one in his own field. For instance, one person who studies painting art may spark the inspiration of his friend majoring in literature. A student in architecture may get a new idea just after talking to his friend in mathematics.

Taking all above into consideration, we can draw the conclusion that being with a large number of friends is a better choice, though it has a few drawbacks, like inefficiency. But, we could work on the decision making mechanism, such as vote, to make it easier.

mpromanusUID: 2565872

3# lbingbing

Some people prefer to spend time with one or two close friends. Others choose to spend time with a large number of friends. Compare the advantages of each choice. Which of these two ways of spending time do you prefer? Use specific reasons to support your answer.

Some people prefer to spend time with one or two close friends while others choose to spend time with a large number of friends. I agree to the latter opinion (A ‘choice’ is not really an opinion that you can agree with. Take a look at the question: it asks which way do you ‘prefer’.). From my point of view, with a large number of friends, one can have more fun and the life will be more enjoyable.

Admittedly, it is wonderful to make one or two close friends and hang out just with them. They (Who are ‘they’?) can get to know each other more quickly. Meanwhile, with fewer people, communication will be more effective. It will always be easier and more efficient to make a decision when they are going to plan a game, a trip or other activities. One can more likely (If you can, you can. There is really no ‘more likely can’. If you have to use ‘more likely’, it’s ‘one is more likely able to …’.) carry on the plan (What plan is ‘the’ plan? A plan for ‘a game, a trip, or other activities’ – so which plan is it?) according to his own will. Considerable though the advantages of hanging out with one friend or two has are, they cannot compare to the benefits that going out with more friends brings.

First of all, joining a number of friends in a party or dinner has a lot of fun. Maybe (‘maybe’, so there is a possibility of ‘maybe not’. And will your argument still hold if it’s a ‘maybe not’?) they come from various countries with different customs and cultures so that one will have the opportunity to share diverse experiences with different people from all over the world. It helps broaden one's horizons. I had a British friend and a French friend in college who sought for further studies there. They brought a group of friends of theirs from different countries to the party (Which party is ‘the’ party’? If you use ‘the’, the noun must be either specific or abstract.). We enjoyed ourselves together playing games, sharing funny stories and life experiences. They had me know about stuff that I never heard about. (You can do this with a few close friends too, as long as they are from different countries, can’t you? And in fact, a few CLOSE friends may be able to share with you deeper insights about their countries and cultures – things that you might not be able to elicit from casual acquaintances. Is it just the number of friends that counts here? Why exactly is ‘a large number of friends’ so significant that it must be better than ‘one or two’? Where is the comparison?)

Besides, as different people have their own merits, one can learn more different spirits and good qualities from others. One person might be good at scheduling his study and life while another has a strong will and works really hard to achieve his goals. Sometimes, (You don’t really need this. Adding ‘sometimes’ means you want to stress it’s ‘only sometimes’ and ‘not always’. Do you really need to?) spending time communicating with these people can enlighten the person in some ways and even help ignite his passion for struggle (This is a rather negative word – it’s only when you’re in a really desperate and difficult situation, and just barely coping enough to get by, then you talk about ‘struggling’, e.g. ‘struggles to keep his father in hospital for cancer treatment’. You’re stressing the idea of ‘difficulty’ if you use ‘struggle’. Not really nice.).

What's more, with more friends, one will obtain more information of all kinds, like the housing information, shopping information and lecture information in university. In addition, talking to a wide range of friends of different academic backgrounds will, to some degree, help one in his own field. For instance, one person who studies painting art may spark the inspiration of his friend majoring in literature. A student of architecture may get a new idea just after talking to his friend in mathematics. (Again, the same rebuttal goes: I don’t see how this will NOT work with a few close friends as long as they satisfy the requirement of coming from rather different backgrounds.)

Taking all above into consideration, we can draw the conclusion that being with a large number of friends is a better choice, though it has a few drawbacks, like inefficiency. But, we could work on the decision making mechanism, such as voting, to make it easier. (If you are not going to elaborate on the drawbacks, just don’t mention them already. The conclusion is not the place to open up a new discussion. What you did here is not concluding the essay, but making it half-baked.)

总结：

这个问题要你做两件事情：

1. 比较题目中A和B两个东西的优点
2. 论述两个东西中你倾向于选择哪一个

看一眼你的开头段，看一眼你的结尾段，你写的是：两个东西里哪一个更好。

第一个论述段论述了A的优点，然后说A不如B，没有*比较* A和B的优点。

所以你基本没有完成任何题目要求你所做的事情。。

所以请认真审题。不要想当然地把作文全都写成优缺点列表型。

lbingbingUID: 3006476

4# mpromanus
谢谢mpromanus了～～呵呵

也就是说题目中出现Compare the advantages of each choice的要求的话，必须在论述A的每一个优点时都与B比较来说明A比B更好，是这样吗？

mpromanusUID: 2565872

5# lbingbing

> 也就是说题目中出现Compare the advantages of each choice的要求的话，必须在论述A的每一个优点时都与B比较来说明A比B更好，是这样吗？

不完全是。题目要你‘比较两者的优点’，也就是A的优点和B的优点都要提到，然后再说A的优点比起B的优点来怎样怎样。你的比较段的问题是光说了A的优点，没有B的优点，就直接结论了。

之后论述的时候也不必拘泥于要写出A比B更好，因为之后的论述题目是你比较喜欢哪一个。。题目怎么问你就要怎么作答，尤其开头结尾两个段，要明确直接地回答题目问你的东西。你可以说，我说A好的意思就是我喜欢A啊，因为它好所以我才喜欢它啊 - 但是你不能话光说一半。这整句话（我喜欢A，因为A这么这么好所以我比较喜欢A）要完整地出现才算你回答到了问题。否则，就好像你去下馆子，服务员问你吃饭还是吃面，你说啊饭比起面来好处太多太多了，说了半天你还是没说出来你到底想吃神马你觉得你能很快点到饭么。。

lbingbingUID: 3006476

6# mpromanus
现在清楚一些了，它要比较就比较，明确表明立场，再用理由支持该立场，基本上就行了^o^