作文，大家帮忙改改

sunhao19900917UID：3051938

1.        People attend college or university for many different reasons (new experience, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people college or university？我正在练作文，今天第一天，以后会坚持。希望大侠们帮忙改改，谢谢！！！

sunhao19900917UID：3051938

1.        People attend college or university for many different reasons (new experience, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people college or university？

Nowadays, an increasingly number of people are willingly to attend college, and different people hold different opinions about that, which includes many reasons, for example, people may gain new experience, prepare for their careers and for further education. I think all of these are reasonable.
  Many people attend university to experience a new life never had before, which is a great attraction for students. People always talk about how colorful the college life is, and you may broaden your horizon by taking part in the amount of appealing activities, also, you may have quite different feeling when studying in the grand library. Even the elders savor the experience in universities all the time, so it is really a beautiful experience to attend college for many people.
  The preparation for career is one of the reasons that people attend college. Parents tell children about the fierce job market, which provide the limited number of job opportunities with higher and higher quality, thus, attending college is one of the best choice to be qualified for these jobs. Because university have the responsibility to teach students both knowledge about academy and practical skill. For example, my college teachers teach me a lot about practical knowledge used in the modern technique.
  Attending college is essential to people who want to get further education. Excellent undergraduates are always required for further education by the professor have the desire to conduct a project with the help of competent students. Undergraduates will gain both plenty of experience and knowledge valuable for their lives with no doubt. For instance, many students in my college choose to receive further education and they are occupied conducting project with professor’s instruction. What if they have not attended college? With more and more students decide to study abroad, it is needed to attend college.
  In conclusion, people attend college for new experience, preparation for career, and further study. When you get into college, you should study as hard as you can, or you will fail to fulfill your dream.

MoonElvaUID：2605686

一点拙见啊。
1、开头太平了。建议找一些范文，或者新概念四上的文章，准备几个开头。
2、举例太泛。要specific一些。
3、语句缺乏亮点。
呵呵，只是讨论一下而已，不一定对。请你继续坚持练习啊。。