两篇独立作文求打分，在线等。谢谢！

迷路de馥UID: 2551782

这是两套TPO里面的作文，麻烦各位大侠给个分，然后顺便说说我的不足。谢谢！
Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to so much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with?In this day and age,the Internet is something that touches all aspects of our lives. With the explosive information that is accessible to people nowadays, more concern arises. Some people may assert that it is hazardous for people to approach so much information because it is difficult for them to tell what is true and what is false so some chaos will be brought about. However, I want to ask a simple but serious question: shouldn't it be one's ability to distinguish between the true things and the false things? Let me take the recent issue happening in Wenzhou for instance. Two Gaotie trains collided with one another on a raining night and a lot of people got injured or dead in this tragedy.It is said on the Internet that the number of the deaths is 35 on the grounds that the people in charge of the railroad won't get dismissed if the number remains less than 36.This theory is heated discussed on the Internet and people are furied of that.But several days later,the media say that the true number of the deaths is 39 which means the chief leader of the railroad will be fired.So you see, it is the peoples' false rather than the Internet's that creates problems. Wikipedia is the most frequently used resource for users to let their academic problems get resolved.Under most circumstance,Internet contains much more information than other kinds of tools.Besides, what people have to do is only to type in the key word and then press 'Enter'.This whole process is of great simplicity compared with the books.There isn't any other ways that can provide people with such convenience. The freedom of speech is guaranteed by the Internet because users don't often use their true names on it.And in most cases, it is the users rather than the media that uncover an issue.The public in modern times seem to depend more on the Internet to know what happened recently.Those information provided by the users should be called valuable on account of its effect on the public's recognition of some affairs that the government want to conceal. In a word,the Internet brings more positive effect than negative effect on society due to its convenience and collection of the public's intelligence.
Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents were childrenAn easy and comfortable life is what one may pursue for his whole life. And some people assert that the life that people live now is much easier and more comfortable on the grounds of the development of science and technology and the diversity of resources that we are able to approach. However, I want to ask a simple but severe question that do we really enjoy the boon of the science and technology? The environmental problem becomes increasingly serious in this day and age. The air is heavily polluted but no effective solutions have been carried out to resolve it. Meanwhile, we waste a great deal of time on the road in heavy traffic jams. The vehicles once promised us a great convenience but they don't perform as well as they did in the horse-draggon times. So we don't actually lead a more comfortable life than our grandparents did when they were young. The job is something that touches every aspect of our life. And it cannot be denied that the competitions grow fiercer in modern times because of the explosive amount of population. When our grandparents were children, the government ensured them a job after they graduated from universities in China which indicates that they didn't have to bother to consider the work. But let's take a brief glimpse of the conditions recently, it is not difficult for us to find that the rate of the people getting hired is extremely low and it is no wonder that under several circumstances, one employee is taken in while hundreds of thousands candidates apply for the job. How can we draw a conclusion that life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when our grandparents were children considering the serious situations? We may obtain more kinds of materials, but the amount of sources that we grasp is less than before. Food serves as an archetype of it. Various foods are accessible to us while a prodigious number of people suffer the threat of being starved to death in remote areas where people live in abject poverty such as Africa and the west of China. In a word, taking the factors I mentioned above in to account, the life we live today is actually not easier or more comfortable than the past decades.

msehongUID: 3104939

只看第一篇，本人一战作文只拿了24，发扬下国际主义精神
In this day and age（In these days),the Internet is something that touches all aspects of our lives. With the explosive information that is accessible to people nowadays, more concern arises. Some people may assert that it is hazardous for people to approach so much information because it is difficult for them to tell what is true and what is false so some chaos will be brought about. However, I want to ask a simple but serious question: shouldn't it be one's ability to distinguish between the true things and the false things? Let me take the recent issue happening in Wenzhou for instance. Two Gaotie trains(chinglish!!!) collided with one another(each other) on a raining night and a lot of people got injured or dead in this tragedy.It is said on the Internet that the number of the deaths is 35 on the grounds that the people in charge of the railroad won't get dismissed if the number remains less than 36.This theory is heated discussed on the Internet and people are furied of (with) that.But several days later,the media say that the true number of the deaths is 39 which means the chief leader of the railroad will be fired.So you see, it is the peoples' false rather than the Internet's that creates problems. Wikipedia is the most frequently used resource for users to let their academic problems get resolved.Under most circumstances,Internet contains much more information than other kinds of tools.Besides, what people have to do is only to type in the key word and then press 'Enter'.This whole process is of greater simplicity compared with the books.There isn't any other ways that can provide people with such convenience. The freedom of speech is guaranteed by the Internet because users don't often use their true names on it.And in most cases, it is the users rather than the media that uncover an issue.The public in modern times seems to depend more on the Internet to know what happened recently.Those information provided by the users should be called valuable on account of its effect on the public's recognition of some affairs that the government want to conceal. In a word,the Internet brings more positive effect than negative effect on society due to its convenience and collection of the public's intelligence.
感觉这篇文章中心不清楚（1）建议开篇就写明主旨。
感觉语法错误很多，特别是单复数（2）建议自己多检查下（其实我语法也很差的）
感觉只举了一个例子讲互联网误导人，但实际上你着重在后面，一直在说啊，互联网好啊，互联网让我们便利了啊，只是概括性的说我们输入一个东西马上就出来了，这个好像不够convincing，是不是可以举一个更加specific的例子（3）个人建议多举一个例子，例如你可以同样以这个动车为例，说正是网络的便利我们才能在第一时间了解到事情的发生，要是搁以前。。。。。

kinsloverUID: 2877937

2# msehong

    information是不可数的好像，LZ写得木有错误啊，原题里就是much information


   LZ敢不敢分个自然段~@@文章结构和论述思路有些乱，比如第一段说高铁那，感觉展开后没收住。语法错误稍多了些，比如(1)it's people's false...., (2) There isn't any other ways ，还有ls指出的一些，光这些grammar的错误就足以置人于死地了

msehongUID: 3104939

是我弄错了哈，我也正想说楼主没分段 3# kinslover