[未归类] 李文韵作文小铺2011 [复制链接]

xieqy0326
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16楼

发表于 2011-8-7 01:43:35 |只看该作者

虽然你写了别的题目，我还是改了，呵呵~~

8月5日独立 wendychueng People who go outside are more suc.doc

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byebyehaku
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17楼

发表于 2011-8-7 12:21:26 |只看该作者

8.5 独立的修改奉上……虽然是别的题目还是试着改了~~~

8月5日独立 People who go outside are more suc（改）.doc

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冷暖自知，童话换一个角度发生

双非DIY美硕申请总结

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likejin2012
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18楼

发表于 2011-8-7 14:24:29 |只看该作者

8.5
综合TPO1

The passage holds the opinion that requiring companies to [url=]offer their employees to work four-day a week[/url][11]
Offer sb sth:offer their employees four-day work
will have a lot of benefit, such as increasing the companies' profits, reducing unemployment rates and giving individuals more free time. However, the lecturer considers that the situation is not as good as the passage shows.

Foremost, the strategy to offer employees the option to work four days a week will not increase the profits. Contrary to the statement in the passage that [url=]hiring more staff with the same amount of money[/url][12]
应该是一个从句但是缺少谓语。That more staff will be hired
, the lecturer mentions that more employees means more health care fee and training cost. Besides, larger office space and more computers are needed. All these will cost more.

Another evidence the passage proves is it will offer more jobs, reduce unemployment rates and benefit the country. However,The lecturer refutes it for assumptions that companies would choose to make employees work over time or rise the expectation, expecting workers accomplish in 4days with things they used to finish in 5 days. If that happens, no more jobs will be offered and the present jobs will become unpleasant.

Finally, the lecturer provides some risks that may occur to the employees. First, their payment is decreased which can seriously affect their life quality. Second, less working hours is not good for them to advance career. They will also get less chance to promote and[url=] more easily to lose jobs[/url]这个是跟get less chance还是they will 连接？不论哪个，读着都有点不通顺，要不重起一句？[13] .

<234>

[11]Offer sb sth:offer their employees four-day work

[12]应该是一个从句但是缺少谓语。That more staff will be hired

[13]这个事跟get less chance还是they will 连接？不论哪个，读着都有点不通顺，要不重起一句？

自在飞花轻似梦

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likejin2012
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19楼

发表于 2011-8-7 14:32:29 |只看该作者

上次的你说打不开TPO21

In [url=]this [/url][11] passage, the wirter considered genetic modification as a very effecive way to improve the trees. It provided three evidence to show the genatically modified trees' benifits, however, the lecturer refuted it [url=]piece by piece [/url][12] and indicated the [url=]shortages [/url][13] of it.

First of all, the passage said that these genatically modified trees are hardier than the native ones. They can be much more resistant to the pest such as ringspot problem. The wirter concluded this as these trees are more likely to survive. But the lecturer opposed to this opinion. She thought this certain design may improve the resistence of the trees, but cannot [url=]let [/url][14] them more survivable to other damages caused by climate catastrophe. Since the genatically modified trees were designed the same, there would all die in some catastrophe while part of the native trees, owning to their genatic diversity, might survive.

The wirter also mentioned the economic benifits the genatically modified trees might bring. As they grow fast and produce more food or fruits or materials, farmers will gain more returns quickly. The lecturer, on the contrary, proved that these trees need to pay more. Their seeds will be more expensive. And every time you plant them, you have to pay this skill.

In the end, the passage shows that the genatically modified trees can prevent overexploitation of wildtrees, but the lecturer pointed that these trees will damage the native trees. Although they can satisfy the use of wood or something, they are harmful to the native trees rather than saving them. [url=]Since the genatically modified trees are hardier, they will make the native trees out of competition.[/url][15]

<272>
谢谢帮我改短点~~

我觉得事态应该一致吧，比如第二段As they grow fast and produce more food or fruits or materials, farmers will gain more returns quickly. The lecturer, on the contrary, proved that these trees need to pay more. Their seeds will be more expensive. 应该是grew. Would, needed, would是不是？
后面的都类似

如果楼主想写短了。我觉得阅读里面的具体信息可以不要，直接点明听力是怀疑阅读的观点就行了。关键是要概括听力里面的内容，显然楼主听力里面的内容没有展开。
另外，文章有一些基本的语法错误，不知道是不是打错的、

如果评论有什么不妥的地方，还请见谅。

[11]This 是这篇的意思，感觉指代不明确，要不用the？

[12]
我查这个短语是逐渐的意思，你是想表示一条一条的意思吗?

[13]Shortage一般是lack,deficit的意思，缺点不足可以说shortcoming, disadvantage

[14]Make或者let them be more survivable

[15]具体的原因是和当地的树种在一起，会争养料和水，并且他们更加aggressive.重点内容漏掉了

自在飞花轻似梦

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