issue215

荧荧UID: 134343

"The bombardment of visual images in contemporary society has the effect of making people less able to focus clearly and extensively on a single issue over a long period of time."

个人认为是最难的一道社会类,以前大家也讨论过,但我写起来仍有些棘手,请看看把
In this era with advanced technology bringing our society prosperousness of films, televisions and video programs, moreover, in the paralleling new conception of art comes to present us with new form called abstractionism that so strongly protrude what the painter intend to express out, we are experiencing unprecedented bombardment of visual images. But do they so that have our vision so that distracted and deprive us of our ability of thinking deeply as well as insightfully? In my observation, the answer should rely on a case-by-case study.

When it comes to modern art holding great zest for abstractionism, I will argue that although sometimes seemingly there are just some mess without any trace appearing in real life that is tempting to draw people into confusion, instead, it is such hyperbole skill that even distort true shape in life that contributes people to focus completely on the central concern emphasized by untrue image in works. Had we turned to Picasso's works, that epitomize modern abstractionism, we will find that life has never been so truly reflected rather than copied, which immediately draw people to conjure up the theme he want us to pay great attention to but drive us away from those minutia that tells us what it is. The great painting of Guernica will be the aptest illustration to this idea. On the first glance, what I get, frankly speaking, nothing but a feeling of sadness or even that there might be a war or slaughter in the picture. Up till now, it is still a great hard-pressed thing for me discover what Picasso actually was describing, but I can easily tell that there is suddenly a dying man in fact just with half body jumping out of the picture, a seemingly exploding cow rushed into my eyes and everything has been distorted indicating that the world is full of death and horror. That is war----- a confirmed answer asserted by the first feeling. It is just such strong bombardment of image that sparked such communal visceral voice on the part of every person calling people's deep retrospect on the great sin and damage of war on humanity.

However, unlike abstractionism, modern medias ramify into mainly two branches. Films especially preferred to the artistic skill to bombard with images to draw on more audiences. But it creates two kinds of influence on people's minds and Hollywood representatively plays such a theoretical role. If we take a glance of some outstanding films such as Titanic, a classic work of Hollywood that cost immense energy and fund, when encountering horrible and heartquaking scene before Titanic sinking and thousands of dead bodies floating on cold sea, I believe every audiences are provoked the most sadness and can’t help recognizing human capability again------ are we so strong as we presumptuously claims? Are we the winner in the struggle we human beings hold the stable resolution to conquer strong nature? Should we become more careful and condescending when evaluating ourselves? Just suffering from the pain of living in the drastic conflict between deep love between heroine and hero and cruel killing vivid lives on the part of the nature expressed well by the bombardment of images, audiences come to their profound movement and thinking and the goal of art gets it realization.

On the other hand, perhaps with the same goal, but ultimately reaching another effect of driving the world into crazy and regression, Hollywood’s another type of film focusing on violence, sarcastically, one of its most popular kind of films, effectively distract human beings from reasoning thinking and endow them with a self-destructing course on humanity. Temporarily presuming that the director tends to call people’s attention on criminals and efforts of the whole society to change it, unfortunately, pure violent and sanguine scene facilitates pushing more and more people into tar of criminal and forcing their failure to resort to their established reasoning and values that guide them to live orderly to focus on how to solve such problems, the real goal of the director. As the result of authoritative research has shown, films of violence should take large responsibility for increasing rate of teenager delinquency.

In sum, the bombardment of visual images imposes on us a two-edged effect. But with more and more popularity of violent films yet less and less qualified films, as well as decreased zest for art, nowadays, it has been increasingly hard for us to focus on a single issue clearly and extensively.

pingfongUID: 135162

首先，你紧紧抓住了visual images, 并对现代艺术和电影艺术作深入的分析。

其次，你的语言也不错，字数是我见过最多的一篇。

我的理解：是不是可以认为The bombardment of visual images 是new media的负面影响，
  focus on a single issue over a long period of time 是不是可以认为是追求长期目标。而后从讨论新技术是人变得更浅薄还是更有远见。以下是我的提纲：

New media bring us The bombardment of visual images. Do endless advertising on television, pornographic materials in Internet, and violent scene in movie distract our attention and prevent to think profoundly and insightfully? In my opinion, new media or high technology itself is irrelative to the profound thinking that is decided by person. On the contrary, the advantages of new technology always overweigh its disadvantages.

1 Admittedly, with advent of new media, some disadvantages of it also expose and bore people. Wherever you go, you are placed in the sea of advertising whether you like or not. They smile to you from television screen, inviting wave to you from every paper of newspapers or magazines, or pop up from advertising window when you browse on Internet, which sometimes makes you unutterable boring. Much pornography and violence filled in movies and lies in Internet, which also distracts juvenile attentions, or even be a catalyst to crime. After closer examination, we find all those are driven by economical interests. It, however, can’t become a reason that people are unable to focus on a single issue. It would be astounding to have these thoughts: a president thinking about policies in the street downtown of Washington; a scientist calculating his rationalization in face of a noisy television; a CEO pondering the policies to ensure larger profit for his company in a plaza. In fact, when these people needs clearly and extensively focus on a single issue, they usually choose an ideal place. Human beings are rational creatures and they can resist those bad impacts, guide by their thinking and dream.
   2 A main reason of the issue referred to is that the practical inclination of modern people may prevents them to pursue a long-term goal.

By contrast, Copernicus, Bruno, and Galileo, for example, can devote themselves to science research, risking the dangers of being tried by inquisition.   


   3 On the other hand, due to the development of technologies, people’s lives become more comfortable and easier, which let them have more time and energy to devote to their interesting field.

我的EMAIL：dingdongdong@sina.com, 欢迎继续讨论、互改作文。

荧荧UID: 134343

欣赏你的第一段的剖析, 3段有些偏题,或者少用点笔墨写这段.
欢迎大家继续提出意见.

happyman2000UID: 136936

"The bombardment of visual images in contemporary society has the effect of making people less able to focus clearly and extensively on a single issue over a long period of time."

个人认为是最难的一道社会类,以前大家也讨论过,但我写起来仍有些棘手,请看看把
In this era with advanced technology bringing our society prosperousness of films, televisions and video programs, moreover, in the paralleling new conception of art comes to present us with new form called abstractionism that so strongly protrude what the painter intend to express out, we are experiencing unprecedented bombardment of visual images. But do they so that have our vision so that distracted and deprive（d）us of our ability of thinking deeply as well as insightfully?（连续两个so that, 我看晕了先！）In my observation, the answer should rely on a case-by-case study.读起来非常费劲！不知道是语言高超还是过于追求复杂的表现，继续看！

When it comes to modern art holding great zest for abstractionism(我觉得题目主要涉及视觉图像，如电影、卡通、图片、录像等等，没必要扯到抽象艺术这么深的层次上去吧！), I will argue that although sometimes seemingly there are just some mess without any trace appearing in real life that is tempting to draw people into confusion, instead, it is such hyperbole skill that even distort true shape in life that contributes people to focus completely on the central concern emphasized by untrue image in works.（我看了三遍，终于看懂了！）Had we turned to Picasso's works,（虚拟语气吗？我没看出有这个必要！）that epitomize modern abstractionism, we will find that life has never been so truly reflected rather than copied, which immediately draw people to conjure up the theme he want us to pay great attention to but drive us away from those minutia that tells us what it is. The great painting of Guernica will be the aptest illustration to this idea. On the first glance, what I get, frankly speaking, nothing but a feeling of sadness or even that there might be a war or slaughter in the picture. Up till now, it is still a great hard-pressed thing for me（to）discover what Picasso actually was describing, but I can easily tell that there is suddenly a dying man in fact just with half body jumping out of the picture, a seemingly exploding cow rushed into my eyes and everything has been distorted indicating that the world is full of death and horror. That is war----- a confirmed answer asserted by the first feeling. It is just such strong bombardment of image that sparked such communal visceral voice on the part of every person calling people's deep retrospect on the great sin and damage of war on humanity. 看了好几遍，算是理解了大意！语言能力很不错，用词很丰富，但我觉得是不是不要太复杂了！让人舒舒服服地读懂才是关键！

However, unlike abstractionism, modern medias ramify into mainly two branches. Films especially preferred to the artistic skill to bombard with images to draw on more audiences. But it creates two kinds of influence on people's minds and Hollywood representatively plays such a theoretical role. If we take a glance of some outstanding films such as Titanic, a classic work of Hollywood that cost immense energy and fund, when encountering horrible and heartquaking scene before Titanic sinking and thousands of dead bodies floating on cold sea, I believe every audiences are provoked the most sadness and can’t help recognizing human capability again------ are we so strong as we presumptuously claims? Are we the winner in the struggle we human beings hold the stable resolution to conquer strong nature? Should we become more careful and condescending when evaluating ourselves? Just suffering from the pain of living in the drastic conflict between deep love between heroine and hero and cruel killing vivid lives on the part of the nature expressed well by the bombardment of images, audiences come to their profound movement and thinking and the goal of art gets it realization.这一段读着比较舒服，真的写得很好啊！语言能力高人一筹啊！

On the other hand, perhaps with the same goal, but ultimately reaching another effect of driving the world into crazy and regression, Hollywood’s another type of film focusing on violence, sarcastically, one of its most popular kind of films, effectively distract human beings from reasoning thinking and endow them with a self-destructing course on humanity. Temporarily presuming(assuming是否更合适！) that the director tends to call people’s attention on criminals and efforts of the whole society to change it, unfortunately, pure violent and sanguine scene facilitates pushing more and more people into tar of criminal and forcing their failure to resort to their established reasoning and values that guide them to live orderly to focus on how to solve such problems, the real goal of the director. As the result of (加个冠词，an)authoritative research has shown, films of violence should take large responsibility for increasing rate of teenager delinquency. 现代电影艺术的弊端。

In sum, the bombardment of visual images imposes on us a two-edged effect. But with more and more popularity of violent films yet less and less qualified films, as well as decreased zest for art, nowadays, it has been increasingly hard for us to focus on a single issue clearly and extensively.

如果我没理解错的话，你的思路是：1，抽象艺术有利于表达深刻思想。2，现代视觉艺术对社会同时产生正面和负面的影响。首先，我就没明白你的第二段和三、四段有什么逻辑关系。其次，visual images和你说的abstractionism有什么关系，为什么要论述abstractionism的作用？
这个题目的确很难，我一时也想不到合适的角度写这片作文。但我觉得你对题目理解是错误的。这个题目主要谈现代社会视觉图像的大量泛滥，使人们往往无法集中精力长期地深入地思考某些问题。你大谈得是抽象艺术和好莱坞电影的利弊，似乎离题了吧！
语言就不多说了，水平的确高人一筹，但如果试图写得更通俗一点会起到更好的效果！

荧荧UID: 134343

谢谢happyman2000的详细批改和宝贵意见!

我理解这个题目时没有将它想成是视觉图象的泛滥, 而是视觉的冲击使人们无法思想深刻,让人们感到困惑, 而抽象艺术的独到的表现手法使人们能够将焦点集中于作者想要表达的思想, 问题上，至于Hollywood, 他惯用的视觉冲击的手法, 则造成两种效果, 也就是我在文中提到的Titannic 和暴力电影的不同effects, 至于中间三段的逻辑关系, 确实不明显, 不过只是从不同领域以列举的方式看这个问题. 不过第三段的前面一小部分似乎应该提出来作为过渡段比较好. faint~说到这, 我自己也晕了.

请大家继续讨论!!!!!!!!

荧荧UID: 134343

up

荧荧UID: 134343

只有一个星期不到就要上考场了, 快急死了, 大家帮帮忙吧

EastonUID: 114021

第一感觉:语言很地道,也很连贯，词汇量很大，要向你学习ing！！
以下是我对你的文章的理解：
第一段对vision imagines的范围作了解释和界定，为后文将abstractionism，films等作为论据打下基础；以疑问句的方式开头，吸引人。
第二段：以abstractionism作为一个论据，引用Picasso和Guernica的例子很典型。行文一气呵成，不简单！
第三段：以film为例进一步论证vision imagines能深入持久地使人们对某issue产生印象,加深理解,但感觉与第二段的连接不是很恰当。
第四段：文不对题.应该强调的是vision imagines对人们正确持久关注某事的影响，而不是说vision imagines主题对人们身心健康的影响。个人觉得应该指出过多过滥的imagines会干扰人们的判断力，不利于人们冷静深入思考问题。
第五段：小结。
若有不当的地方，欢迎讨论！！
qq:75860957(注:gter)

荧荧UID: 134343

谢谢。 不过能否说说怎么改， 或者说说你的思路