我的托福作文求狠拍

heyxUID: 2943262

9月5日独立
20100619NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If you need to discuss upsetting or controversial problems with others, using e-mail/text messaging is better than using telephone/voice-messaging.

heyxUID: 2943262

9月6日独立
20090403NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teachers’ salaries."

heyxUID: 2943262

9月7日 20100813NA
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? More and more people spend too much money on their pet (dogs, cats and others), although there are better uses for these money. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

byebyehakuUID: 3124349

虽然我们不是一组的，不过既然我的作文被拍了，再狠狠地拍回来是绝对必要的哈~~~:lol

wq1102UID: 2962374

9.7 独立已改~ 麻烦抽空看下我的独立哈~先谢过了


Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? More and more people spend too much money on their pet (dogs, cats and others), although there are better uses for these money. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.9 ]+ R+ C! E: ~6 I: [; V
9 O& N$ |, @0 a! f, j/ }
Nowadays, with the rapid development of quality of life, more and more people have spared money to consume on what they want. There is a phenomenon that more and more people like to keep pets for entertainment or accompanying, which spendt a lot of expense on food, health, etc. Someone argues that it is a wise investment for a family, while others do not agree. In my opinion, I suppose the latter one and I think the additional money paid on pets would be paid on can be used on the more indispensable aspects (?).
# ^$ N1 V+ M. PTo begin with, so many the expense spent too much on pets would be a heavy burden on one(?family？). And the money can be used to improve the quality of life, increase one’s knowledge, or keep one’s health. For example, my uncle is so fat that he is in a bad health. He savedkeep extra money every month for physical exercise in the gym. But one day he obtained a lovely dog by chance which attracted all his attention. So he spent most of the extra money which he used to exercise on the pet’s food and health. As a result, he got sick for his fatness. The true story told us that the expense spent too much on pets is not wise for people.- i" J( F2 q  b& i) Z' u
In addition, paying too much attention on pets may cause a problem of social communication. People are fond of pets for many reasons, mainly about for the pets’ loyalty and loveliness. Some people prefer feeding a pet to communicating with others, but communication with others is so important that it cannot be replaced by pets, as no one can live alone in the modern society. Sharing ideas or motions with other through talking and having fun with family members are more significantly meaningful than keeping pets.
% z" ~% z+ ]. W' c6 T/ j8 }5 p9 SIn summary, after the financial crisis, people are supposed to be rational keep pets. The expense used on pets can make full use on individual benefit. And also people should gain care and accompany from others, which can lead to a happy life.
整个文章的构思论点还行，两个例子有点没讲完的感觉，还有语言表达上有点chinglish，个人拙见请海涵~

heyxUID: 2943262

5# wq1102
不好意思，今天有点事耽搁了，明天一早我就给你改改。

tequilawineUID: 2702008

不好意思，前几天太忙，给你改完了，查收， 9.7

heyxUID: 2943262

9月12日独立
谢谢！~
It is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country because of the lose of old friends?

byebyehakuUID: 3124349

改好了~~欢迎讨论~！！！

ccgeduUID: 3129277

改好了。找不到上传附件直接贴了~
Nowadays moving to a new place is a regular thing in the modern society. [url=]According to a survey, one moves from one place to another four times in his life on average.[/url][雨林木风1] Still(用However比较好) some people prefer to live in one city from young to old, because they cherish the relationship with their old friends. As for me, I would like to move to a new city or a new country.
First of all, moving from a place to another is not a bad thing. Oppositely it is a meaningful thing. Because we can make new friends and have a new neighborhood or community, which relaxed(relaxes) ourselves to some extent. New friends can share fresh experience with us and we can celebrate festivals together with our new neighbors. For example, my uncle who lived with us in the past now have gone to Shanghai and settled in there. I heard(hears) from him that the community he has lived in all welcome the newcomer. His new neighbors invited him to their house to celebrate the Spring Festival. He feels it was like at home. So from my uncle's case, I think there are a lot of advantages to move to a new [url=]place[/url][雨林木风2] .
In addition, sometimes we move to a new place, for we get promotion to work in another place. It is also a good thing. We will feel luck that our superior appreciate us and we can contribute our time and efforts to the career.
Besides, with the advance of science and technology, no old friends can(could) be lost. We may use a lot of means to communicate with these friend that we have not seen for a long time by telephone, email, msn or text-messaging. It is a case that one of my old friends has moved to Canada, we have no opportunity to communicate with each other face to face, but we still contact with others every week. I write an email to him twice a week and sometimes we can make a telephone. Up to now, we are still best friends. So I disagree with the idea that we will lose our old friends when we more(move) to a new city or a new country.
In summary, it is not a bad thing to move to a new city or a new country. Actually, we won't lose our close friends, in addition we will make more new friends and stay with them in harmony.

总体感觉你的词汇的丰富有待提高，可以查字典使用一些高级的词汇。而且你的例子可以再精简一些会更好。个人意见，仅供参考。

[雨林木风1]这个是哪个地方的的调查，有四次这么多吗？



[雨林木风2]觉得例子再包括他没有失去和老朋友的联系会更好，与作文题相关。

heyxUID: 2943262

10# ccgedu
可能你现在回复的帖子数还不够多。灌一些水后，等到到达一定声望后，在（参与/回复主题）按钮旁边会有添加附件的功能的！~

heyxUID: 2943262

9月14日 综合+独立
综合TPO11
20100924NA
College or University should offer more preparation before they start working

heyxUID: 2943262

9月15日  综合+独立
综合 TPO12
独立 20100925NA Do you think that young people in today are less dependent on their parents than in the past.

wwwxwwwxUID: 2186411

TPO 12 综合修改

修改完才发现没办法上传附件
只能发图片了
需要的话我可以从QQ传给你

chair020928UID: 2956418

9月14 日的 修改