issue121

gambellUID: 122696

自我感觉是最好的一篇了，超时5 min
欢迎大家来打击我

121"At various times in the geological past, many species have become extinct as a result of natural, rather than human, processes. Thus, there is no justification for society to make extraordinary efforts, especially at a great cost in money and jobs, to save endangered species."

(Modified in WORD)                                     (reject!!!!)

Many species have become extinct in the geological past since natural disasters when human beings did even not existed, but this issue can not be an excuse for people to evade the responsibility of saving endangered species at present. And, spending great cost in money and jobs to survive some particular animals and plants that are important to ecosystem is worth doing.

First I must concede that the disappearance of ancient species like Dinosaurs and Sword Teeth Tigers ( Xiphodon ) is not from human fault. Fierce change happened to the earth as catastrophes decided their inevitable fate and hence produced many other new lives including ancestors of human. However, at present age, things are different because human, that may be the cleverest species in the earth history, have modified the environment sharply by their industrialization and technological evolution that ever species could not do. Since the great influence especially pollution and excessive exploiting resources from nature set to the environment, the balance and peace of nature has been destroyed and therefore, more disasters appear and worse the living situations become lead to accelerating rate of loss of species. For instance, over disafforestation of bamboo plants lead to the situation of lack of food to the panda, thus the cherished animal is in danger of extinction. By realizing their own crimes to the nature, people have no other choices rather than take the liability to redeem their wrong doings.

Moreover, spending great cost in money and jobs to save crucial endangered species is in great value to human life since it is a beneficial work to protect the integrality of ecosystem. Let off the benefits that copious resources of foods, herbs or medicines and scientific objects are available due to diversity of species, lack of some kernels in the ecosystem would bring huge damages. If many important plants such as plants with green leaves died out in the world, no enough oxygen covered from carbon dioxide through photosynthesis would be a serious and direct result that threatens the lives of nearly all the species living on land. Even if oxygen could be supplied adequately, lack of foliage as the fundamental species in ecosystem would ruin the food chain.

However, to some less valued species, which is even baneful to human beings, no cost should be used to save them as just a waste of social possessions. Take the mouse for example, though some factors would cause the disappearance of this species in an assumption, since its unimportant position in ecosystem that can be replaced by many other ones and its harm to human, no action should be taken to save mouse and maybe people should strengthen the effect of the very factor to kill all the mice. Furthermore, some other pests can also get this kind of treatment by the same reason.

Factors in geological past ages could not be controlled by people, while present human should take the duty to protect the environment and redeem their fault in exploiting the earth. On the other hand, spending great money and jobs to save valuable endangered species and avoid wasting possessions to the rest ones would bring great benefits to human beings.

(531 words)

50min

feier521UID: 109747

Many species have become extinct in the geological past since（since? because of OR due to） natural disasters when human beings did even not existed (exist), but this issue can not be an excuse for people to evade the responsibility of saving endangered species at present. And, spending great cost in money and jobs to survive(survive 用的有点别扭，不如用make…survive) some particular animals and plants that are important to ecosystem is worth doing.

First I must concede that the disappearance of ancient species like Dinosaurs and Sword Teeth Tigers ( Xiphodon ) is not from human fault. Fierce change happened to the earth as catastrophes decided their inevitable fate and hence produced many other new lives including ancestors of human. However, at present age, things are different because human, that may be the cleverest species in the earth history, have modified the environment sharply by their industrialization and technological evolution that ever（every） species could not do. Since the great influence especially pollution and excessive exploiting resources from nature（especially…前后要加逗号）set to the environment, the balance and peace of nature has been destroyed and therefore, more disasters appear and worse the living situations become（?） lead to accelerating rate of loss of species(好多动词！此句重新写). For instance, over disafforestation of bamboo （plants罗索） lead(s) to the (situation of删掉) lack of food to the panda, thus the cherished animal is in danger （of extinction删掉）. By realizing their own crimes to the nature, people have no other choices （rather than改为but to） take the liability to redeem their wrong doings.

Moreover, spending great cost in money and jobs to save crucial endangered species is in great value to human life since it is a beneficial work to protect the integrality of ecosystem. Let off the benefits that copious resources of foods, herbs or medicines and scientific objects are available due to diversity of species, lack of some kernels（？） in the ecosystem would bring huge damages. If many important plants （such as plants with green leaves删掉） died out in the world, no enough oxygen covered from carbon dioxide through photosynthesis would be a serious and direct result that threatens the lives of nearly all the species living on land. Even if oxygen could be supplied adequately, lack of foliage as the fundamental species in ecosystem would ruin the food chain.

However, to some less valued species, which is even baneful to human beings, no cost should be used to save them as（as 表示什么？表原因接句子） just a waste of social possessions. Take the mouse for example, though some factors would cause the disappearance of this species in an assumption, since its unimportant position in ecosystem that can be replaced by many other ones and its harm to human, no action should be taken to save mouse and maybe people should strengthen the effect of the very factor to kill all（all？老鼠要是灭绝了，说不定也break the ecosystem balance ：D）the mice. Furthermore, some other pests can also get this kind of treatment by the same reason.

Factors in geological past ages could not be controlled by people, while present human should take the duty to protect the environment and redeem their fault in exploiting the earth. On the other hand, spending great money and jobs to save valuable endangered species and avoid wasting possessions to the rest ones would bring great benefits to human beings.（spend…in doing好些，文中3处，spend…to do）

看了我的，为什么不提提意见呢？呵呵

gambellUID: 122696

太谢谢了，就是需要您这种当头棒喝，要不我都不知道自己姓什么了，真是良师啊，改得非常好，再次拜服
你的文章我看了，后来发现paisley牛姐改了，也很对点，就没有插嘴，我这还留着呢
另外解释几个地方
1。survive 那里我想用拯救，结果用错了
2。ever我觉得没错，是指过去的物种
3。as我的意思是就如，比如，应该可以吧

feier521UID: 109747

呵呵，ever 有adj 吗？previous 如何？
如果做adv，位置也不对啊。
as 比如？，那句翻译不大通顺啊？

gambellUID: 122696

首先我更正，改你文章的是台胞screw,乱点鸳鸯铺，sigh....(脸又长厚了大概1cm)
其次，对于我死不认帐，知错不改的言行表示深切忏悔    （1cm more）
ever 那里，你是对的
但我老觉得as那里...不流畅有一些，但语法应该可以吧    （今天第三cm）
可以改成：
as it is just a wast......如何，作表原因副词
好像还是不通顺，郁闷啊....
问一下，你写文章是分类的吗？

feier521UID: 109747

呵呵，还没有我的厚。

as it is just a wast......如何，作表原因副词

我原先也想给你这么改。：）
不是啊，按照顺序的。不过这样不大好。