TPO20 独立写作求批改,求狠批,大家多提提意见吧,该考了,谢谢了~~

mskobeUID: 2905374

TPO20
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they already know how to do well.
    Nowadays there is a controversial issue about how people achieve success. Someone hold the opinion that by trying new things and taking risks that they become successful. While others think that they already know how to do well. From my perspective, i agree that it's the former one that plays the most important role. In the following discussion, i would like to reason and provide concrete evidences to support my viewpoint.
     First of all, to achieve success, you must make your products or services outstanding form the competitors. How to do it? I think the key word is creativity. That means try new things. Let us take Apple for example. The Apple was nearly bankrupt before Steve Jobs was invited to come back. As a CEO, what job has done is trying their best to make products full of creative. Iphone was the first cellphone using the technique of multitouch, the Macbook air is thinner than any laptops, and so on. Therefore it is creativity that bring Apple from the edge of bankrupt to the biggest company in the world.
    Secondly, due to try new things, you don't know what the result so that you have to take more risks. As an old saying 'the greater risks you take, the more repays you may get'. Faced with the intense competition of modern society, only by taking risk can you make some breakthrough. You should never expect to get great repay in little risk. Bill Gates droped out of school to start Microsoft. He had to take the risk of having no job to do once he failed. So did Mark Zuckerberg.
      Admittedly, sometimes, successful people did know how to do well. However, this situation almost lays on they already have built some fame, then they have the money and time to improve their goods from good to better to achieve greater success.
       In a word, due to the above mentioned reasons, which sometimes correlate with each other to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive than any single one of them. I reinforce my stand point that successful people try new things and are willing to take the risks the creativity brings. 个人感觉理由不够充分,没有太多思路,句式和用词太简单,不多样化,求大牛指点狂批~~~

mskobeUID: 2905374

各位帮帮忙修改一下啊,谢谢啦~~~