新GRE argument2 求拍 先谢过大家啦~感激不尽

璐冰雪儿UID: 3156913

思考了很久的提纲，也不知道写的怎么样，还求广大G友们帮忙改正，小女子感激不尽，里面用了少许的模板，还有不知道字数上够不够，希望大家多多批评指教，谢过~:)
题目：A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual’s levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring.
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the
argument.
正文：

In this argument the author assumes that birth order has an effect on the individual's levels of stimulation,and the author infers firstborn infant humans produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulation situations which also exist an order change from the study of the eighteen rhesus monkeys. However, lacking more accurate informations that we cannot make sure whether the birth order are relevant with the levels of cortisol producing.
  The author claims that firstborn humans or firstborn infant monkeys both can produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations.But the two situations are not the same,one of the situations is an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey, and the other is the return of a parent after an absence. If the author want to do a contrast experiment, there must be an uniform external conditions.So the two experiment have no comparable.
  For lack of more specific informations about how the younger siblings produce hormone cortisol in stimulating situations, it is impossible to know the relationship between the birth order and the hormone producing. Maybe the hormone secrete is related with age, the firstborn infant monkeys are older and at a special time the hormone will be producing much more than the younger siblings.Without eliminating this possibility,we cannot accept the conclude that the birth order can effect on the individual's levels of stimulation.
  Even if the evidence turns out to support the foregoing assumptions, the author should provide an convincing evidence that first-time mother monkeys influence the hormone producing of the firstborn infant.It is much more possibile that the first-time mother monkeys during pregnancy could led to how much hormone the infant monkeys produced.Until the author provides further evidence to exclude all the concerns,it is unfounded to reach the conclusion involved in the argument.
  In conclusion, if there is a sufficient sample not only have eighteen rhesus monkeys, and the author consider given factors and more convincing evidence,the argument will be more credibility and logically acceptable.