Daily writing 圈圈 writing

deanna.zhangUID: 3181158

2011.10.7

deanna.zhangUID: 3181158

10.7.201120100320NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statements? Since most people can solve their problems by themselves or with the help from their families, the help from government is often not necessary. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

Whenever you are in trouble, your family members will always be there for you. They will never desert you and will try their best to provide anything you   need. However, there are situations in which your parents can do nothing for you in spite of your dilemma. Therefore, assist from the government is significant at that moment.

First of all, people need help from the government when catastrophe happens. Take the earthquake occured in SiChuan in 2008 as an example. So many people lost their homes, their families at that time. Faced with the cruel disaster and tremendous sadness, they were really scared and depressed. At this crucial moment, the government organized assist groups to provide food, water and clothes to the refugees. In addition, psychologists tried to release the refugees' hurt in their heart. Though the refugees might have no family members with them, the government gave them careful help and warm. In this way, people need government when disaster occurs.

Second, in today's legal society, we will also need legal help from the government which our parents can never provide. For instance, if you are cheated by a salesman since he sold you a fake product. Your family can not help you by quarreling with the salesman or hitting him to release your anger because it is illegal. Under this circumstance, you have to ask help from the legal department which belongs to the government. Government is the best place to give you fairness and compensation.

Third, government can grant us lot of social welfare. We can take a walk after dinner in a beautiful park where grass is green, flowers are blossoming. The park is absolutely built by the government. Students in China can get 9 years' compulsory education for free. This policy is made by the government. The government permits that farmers in China need not to pay for agricultural tax to encourage farming development. People in China will not live so happy without the help from the government since it has provided so much welfare to every one.

In a word, we are a member of society. The government provides us help in all aspects, from food to transportation, from education to medicine. We can never live without the government.

neochenyaoUID: 2944251

2# deanna.zhang Whenever you are in trouble, your family members will alwaysbe there for you. They will never desert（turn their back on） you and will （but）try their best toprovide anything（everything） you   need.However, there are situations in which your parents can do nothing for you inspite of your are in dilemma. Therefore, assist from the government is significantat that moment.
o# h- E8 e6 M$ a; w( u9 F. ~: h( t$ q8 ?4 T/ H6 q
First of all, people need the help from the governmentwhen catastrophe happens. Take the earthquake occured in SiChuan in 2008 as anexample. So many people lost their homes, (and)their families at thattime. Faced with the cruel disaster and tremendous sadness, they were reallyscared and depressed. At this crucial moment, the government organized assistgroups to provide food, water and clothes to the refugees. In addition,psychologists tried to release the refugees' hurt in their heart. Though therefugees might have no family members with them, the government gave themcareful help and warm(这个有点中式表达，或者换成hope会比较好). In this way, peopleneed government when disaster occurs.
Second, in today's legal society, we will alsoneed legal help（aid） from the government which our parents cannever provide. For instance, if you are cheated by a salesman since（
and ）he had sold you a fakeproduct. Your family can not help you by quarreling with the salesman orhitting him to release your anger because it is illegal. Under thiscircumstance, you have to ask help from the legal department which belongs tothe government. Government is the best place to give you fairness andcompensation.(这句貌似不妥，或者改成Government is the best placeseeking aid and force the cheater to make compensate for your lost)8 k4 J8 w, s6 G7 u' ]
Third, government can grant us（grant应该不大符合，改成support us with） lot of social welfare.We can take a walk after dinner in a beautiful park where grass is green,flowers are blossoming. The park is absolutely built by the government.Students in China can get 9 years' compulsory education for free. This policyis made by the government. The government permits(allows) that farmers in Chinaneed not to pay (pay no tax fee)for agricultural tax(in order)to encourage farmingdevelopment. People in China will not live so happy without the help from thegovernment since if it has not provided（删去） so much welfare toevery one(这个句子前面用来will not，后面可能用if从句会比较好
).
In a word, we are a member of society. Thegovernment provides us help in all aspects, from food to transportation, fromeducation to medicine. We can never live without the government.

deanna.zhangUID: 3181158

With the rapid development modern technology, TV is becoming more and more popular among people. Many people believe that children should be limited the hours of watching TV and movies. Only in this way, can they get a fantastic result in their study. I totally agree with the opinion. I have the following reasons.

First, children in school need to spend more time on their courses since they have homework to do after class. In addition, it is helpful to prepare and review lessons regularly. We all know that study is a process of repeating what we have learned. All this repeating work takes a vast amount of time. Therefore, students should spend more time on their study instead of on TV.

Second, TV programs and movies may have bad effect on the children's physical health. Watching too much TV will make children feel tired or go to bed late at night, which will be undoubtedly bad for their bodies. Children are at the golden age of growing up. The radiation emitted by TV will harm their health. Besides, long time staring at the screen will hurt the eyes of children. All these effects on the body of a child will subsequently affect his or her study.

Third, TV programs and movies may have bad effect on the children's psychological health. In today's complicated world, many TV programs are not healthy for children to see. Some of them are just meaningless TV series and the contents are just about violence, sex, love and desire, which will have a seriously negative effect on children. Consequently, they will be disturbed and annoyed by such bad ideas during their study. Their work efficiency and quality will be reduced as a result.

To sum up, watching too much TV or movies will not only affect the physical health but also psychological health of a child. What's more, it takes too much time of the child which they should spend on study. It's better for parents to limit the children' time of watching TV or movies .

abigail123UID: 2713337

Whenever you are in trouble, your family members will always be there for you. (真的吗？）They will never desert you and will try their best to provide anything you   need. However, there are situations in which your parents can do nothing for you in spite of your dilemma.（这个表达太奇怪了） Therefore, assist from the government is significant at that moment.

First of all, people need help from the government when catastrophe happens. Take the earthquake occured in SiChuan in 2008 as an example. So many people lost their homes, their families at that time. Faced with the cruel disaster and tremendous sadness, they were really scared and depressed. At this crucial moment, the government organized assist groups to provide food, water and clothes to the refugees. In addition, psychologists tried to release the refugees' hurt in their heart. Though the refugees might have no family members with them, the government gave them careful help and warm. In this way, people need government when disaster occurs.（地震的例子非常nice，学习之）

Second, in today's legal society, we will also need legal help from the government which our parents can never provide. For instance, if you are cheated by a salesman since he sold you a fake product. Your family can not help you by quarreling with the salesman or hitting him to release your anger because it is illegal. Under this circumstance, you have to ask help from the legal department which belongs to the government. Government is the best place to give you fairness and compensation.（这个结论。。。。有点小偏吧。。。）


Third, government can grant us lot of social welfare. We can take a walk after dinner in a beautiful park where grass is green, flowers are blossoming. The park is absolutely built by the government. Students in China can get 9 years' compulsory education for free. This policy is made by the government. The government permits that farmers in China need not to pay for agricultural tax to encourage farming development. People in China will not live so happy without the help from the government since it has provided so much welfare to every one.

In a word, we are （搭配不对吧）a member of society. The government provides us help in all aspects, from food to transportation, from education to medicine. We can never live without the government.


例子学习了，第一个地震和最后一个very不错


继续加油。。。

jackieydanUID: 3182030

hallo，deanna，你的作文我已下載，修改完了會粘過來。。
我們是一組的，這是我的作文貼，https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1309557&extra=
求批改哦！！！
改好了哈！
With the rapid development of modern technology, TV is becoming more and more popular among people. Many people believe that children should be limited the hours of watching TV and movies.【我认为从句中应该是时间被限制， that the time children spend on watching TV and movies should be limited,】 Only in this way, can they get a fantastic result in their study. I totally agree with the opinion.[AndI have the following reasons [to support it 我觉得两句之间似乎该有个连接词].s
First, children in school need to spend more time on their courses since they have homework to do after class. In addition, it is helpful to prepare and review lessons regularly. We all know that study is a process of repeating what we have learned. Since all this repeating work takes a vast amount of time. students should spend more time on their study instead of on TV. 3 S4 w* `" c0 q* v# C" v' y0 o
Second, TV programs and movies may have bad effect on the children's physical health. Watching too much TV will make children feel tired or go to bed late at night, which will be undoubtedly bad for their bodies. Children are at the golden age of growing up.【觉得此句有小小chinglish，而且和前后文的逻辑性不强，可否删去？】. The radiation emitted by TV will harm their health. Besides, long time staring at the screen will hurt the eyes of children. All these detrimental effects on the body of a child will subsequently affect his or her study. : P6 M4 [2 h7 A7 b, \' _
Third, TV programs and movies may have bad【negative，出现频率略显过高】 effect on the children's psychological health. In today's complicated world【complex society，complicated多指结构复杂】, many TV programs are not healthy【suitable，我能理解意思，不过觉得这个词用的有些中式化】 for children to see. Some of them are just meaningless TV series and the contents are just【always】 about violence, sex, love and desire, which will have a seriously negative effect on children. Consequently, they will be disturbed and annoyed by such bad ideas during their study. Their work efficiency and quality will be reduced as a result.
【其实我也有想过这个理由，但是后来觉得它和do well in school直接关联性不大，只是和孩子的健康发展直接相关。不过，这是我的一家只有，deanna 你何以自己判断哈。。。】
To sum up, watching too much TV or movies will affect not only【移到动词后面】 the physical health【后面有了，这个health就可以去掉了】 but also psychological health of a child【the children】. What's more, it takes too much time of the child 【children】which they should spend on study. So it
is better for parents to limit the children' time of watching TV or movies.

我觉得关于【影响】这一意思，还可以尝试譬如 influence 等其他多种表达方式，当然这点上我做的也不够好。。
改的不够好的地方，多多见谅！希望deanna还可以和我再做交流哈！

xiaoniao123UID: 2541605

4# deanna.zhang
改完了，写得挺好的，要向你学习！