【Daily Writing】pepemaxc的作文贴。求狠砖。

pepemaxcUID: 3126881

10.16，11.13跟ETS去约会。
好吧，我知道10.16已经迫在眉睫了，我要临时抱抱佛脚啊！！求狠拍！！！

10.12 独立。题目：住城市还是农村能更好地照顾家人。（写的是寂静题- -）

Although there are huge numbers of advantages for people living in urban areas to take care of their families, such as the fact that each family member can have both better physical and mental health because he or she is able to breathe extremely fresh air as well as relaxes in an open area which is not full of people and stress, as far as i am concerned, i still believe that the people who live in rural areas can better care for their families. Some reasons i will give as follows.


First and foremost, living in the city means that we are able to turn to others for help as soon as possible if an emergency happens. Let's take my grandfather for example. On a cold winter night last year, my grandfather fell in a faint all of a studden while he was reading the newspaper, standing beside a chair. When we found that there was something wrong with grandfather, we decided to send him to the nearest hospital at once. However, when we stepped out our house, carrying my grandfather, my mother realized that our car was not available this moment in that my father had lent it to one of his friends, John. Therefore, immediately we called 120 which was the ambulance call for help. Fortunately, the ambulance arrived in 10 minutes. Instead, if we lived in the countryside at that time, There was no doubt that the ambulance would take much more than ten minutes to reach our house to send my grandfather to hospital. Under such circumstance, we could not image how severely such delay would have got my grandfather in trouble. Thanks to God that we have chosen to live in the rural area.


In addition, nowadays, what is the most important is that childen's education. Compared to the environment in the countryside which is often
related to solitude, the surroundings in the city is cirtainly open. There are numerous resources available for children to enlarge their scope of knowledge, broden their horizons and enrich their extracurricular activities. The better life quality in the big cities enables children to fully develope themselves since they are exposed to a more diverse environment.
To sum up, it's undoubtedly a better choice to live in rural areas than to live in urban areas.

koviUID: 3154928

Although there are huge numbers of advantages for people living in urban areas to take care of their families, such as the fact that each family member can have both better physical and mental health because he or she is able to breathe extremely fresh air as well as relaxes in an open area which is not full of people and stress, as far as i am concerned, i still believe that the people who live in rural areas can better care for their families. Some reasons i will give as follows.


First and foremost, living in the city means that we are able to turn to others for help as soon as possible if an emergency happens. Let's take my grandfather for example. On a cold winter night last year, my grandfather fell in a faint all of a studden while he was reading the newspaper, standing beside a chair. When we found that there was something wrong with grandfather, we decided to send him to the nearest hospital at once. However, when we stepped out our house, carrying my grandfather, my mother realized that our car was not available this moment in that my father had lent it to one of his friends, John. Therefore, immediately we called 120 which was the ambulance call for help. Fortunately, the ambulance arrived in 10 minutes. Instead, if we lived in the countryside at that time, There was no doubt that the ambulance would take much more than ten minutes to reach our house to send my grandfather to hospital. Under such circumstance, we could not image how severely such delay would have got my grandfather in trouble. Thanks to God that we have chosen to live in the rural area.
其实我觉得你用词和描述文章的故事情节挺好的,可是这样的例子太过具体,体现不出优势,就是不具有很强的说服性,因为你大段故事只为了说明城市会反应rapid when some emergency occur.
  其实2 `9 p3 o6 G0 J4 v, [  f& o# {5 h: G
In addition, nowadays, what is the most important is that childen's (children’s)education. Compared to the environment in the countryside which is often related to solitude, the surroundings in the city is cirtainly open. There are numerous resources available for children to enlarge their scope of knowledge, broden(broaden) their horizons and enrich their extracurricular activities. The better life quality in the big cities enables children to fully develop themselves since they are exposed to a more diverse environment.
To sum up, it's undoubtedly a better choice to live in rural areas than to live in urban areas.

用词什么的挺好的,主要是要注意文章的结构和逻辑就好。
Ps你打字真快。 加油。

jackieydanUID: 3182030

pepe 實在不好意思哈。。。白天一直打不開網站， 所以現在才傳上來。。
謝謝你對我文章的批改哦。。

pepemaxcUID: 3126881

3# jackieydan
没事没事啦~谢谢批改哟~~=v=