第一次发帖，求拍砖~新G argu 07

celineyuanUID: 3199020

题目：
我们建议m书店在电内开设一个咖啡厅。M书店在目前的店址上已经经营了20多年，并由于其广泛的图书种类而拥有了庞大的客户群体。很明显，新开设的咖啡厅会吸引更多的客户，空间可以通过撤出儿童书籍柜台来获得，因为最近一次全国调查显示10岁以下儿童的比率显著下降，所以儿童书就可能没以前那么畅销。开设新咖啡厅将会使m吸引更多客户并更好的与最近刚开设了咖啡厅的r书店展开竞争。


To attract more customers and earn money, Monarch Books, which is famous for its wide selections of books for more than twenties years, decides to open a cafe in the store, replaced the children's book section. This recommendation seems at first glance logical and original. However, the reasoning is still unbelievable, for the evidence mentioned in the argument neglects to analysis the particular advantages of Monarch Books and ignores considering some other issues resulted from cafe.

First, does a cafe really attract more customers for Monarch Books? No other cheaper ways available? As we know, this book store is famous for its wide selections of books rather than its comfortable atmosphere. In other word, the main reason that amount of customers come to this store is the variety of book can largely fill their need. So other alternatives such as inviting celebrities doing lectures in Monarch Books, making discount for some sort of books also appeal more readers, and more importantly, these ways are easy and practical than café. Besides, I am afraid that the store’s alteration leads to the elimination of the customers’ population rather than the boost as they expected. Numerous parents maybe never come again after the rearrangement, for in order to inspire their babies' reading interest, most adults sacrifice their time to accompany with children to book store and unexpectedly purchase books as customers. Therefore, this decision, abandoning children’s section, actually losses not only part of young customers, but also more adult readers, too.

Second, admittedly the decline of the customers under age ten is a national phenomenon, but is it imprudent to assume the book store confronts the same issue in this city? Perhaps due to the government’s encouragement and schools’ support, children in this city didn’t diminish their reading interest at all; Or it is entirely possible that the majority of families in this city love to read, which also influence their children. As a result, the book market in children’s reading section still remains popular, quite different from the national trend.


Additionally, even if we confess the fact that the population of children is less than before is true, is it certain that Monarch Books benefits more from café than from children readers? In fact, less children customer doesn’t equal to less profit for book store. It is easily observed that most books for children are highly more expensive than for adults. So to some degree, children’s book is still profitable. But oppositely, running a café needs to hire more employees, cost bigger revenue on decoration and advertisement and Monarch Books have to take more risk.

In sum, the recommendation to run a café is really a creative idea. However, if the investor of Monarch Books eager to profit, they should take into account Monarch Books characteristics, loss in customers and profit if stopping the children’s reading section, and new issues caused by café, then measure the pros and cons respectively.

asdf123101UID: 3012539

To attract more customers and earn money, Monarch Books, which is (have been) famous for its wide selections of books for more than twenties years, decides (have not yet decided, read the prompt again plz, it is merely a recommendation) to open a cafe in the store, replaced (replacing) the children's book section. This recommendation seems at first glance logical and original. However, the reasoning is still unbelievable (inappropriate word, consult Merriam-Websiter Dic), for the evidence mentioned in the argument neglects to analysis (analyze, analysis is a noun),the particular advantages of Monarch Books and ignores considering (a redundant word) some other issues resulted from cafe.

First, does a cafe really attract more customers for Monarch Books? No other cheaper ways available? As we know, this book store is famous for its wide selections of books rather than its comfortable atmosphere. In other word, the main reason that amount of customers come to this store is the variety of book (which) can largely fit their needs. So other alternatives such as inviting celebrities doing lectures in Monarch Books, making discount for some sort of books also appeal more readers, (begin a new sentence here) and more importantly, these ways are easy and practical than café. Besides, I am afraid that the store’s alteration leads to the elimination of the customers’ population rather than the boost (it) as they expected. Numerous parents maybe (may, maybe is conventionally used at the beginning of a sentence)  never come again after the rearrangement, for in order to inspire their babies' reading interest, most adults sacrifice their time to accompany with (a redundant word) children to book store and unexpectedly purchase books as customers. Therefore, this decision, abandoning children’s section, actually losses (can a decision loss customers?) not only part of young customers, but also more adult readers, too.( a redundant word)

Second, admittedly the decline of the customers under age ten is a national phenomenon, but is it imprudent (this word means unwise...) to assume (that) the book store confronts the same issue in this city? Perhaps due to the government’s encouragement and schools’ support, children in this city didn’t diminish their reading interests at all; Or it is entirely possible that the majority of families in this city love to read, which also influences their children. As a result, the book market in children’s reading section still remains popular, quite different from the national trend.


Additionally, even if we confess the fact that the population of children is less than (that of children) before is true, is it certain that Monarch Books benefits more from café than from children readers? In fact, less children customers doesn’t equal to less profits for book store. It is easily observed that most books for children are highly more expensive than for adults. So to some degree, children’s book is (books are) still profitable. But oppositely, running a café needs to hire more employees, cost bigger revenue (revenue means income, so investment may be more appropriate) on decoration and advertisement and Monarch Books have (has) to take more risk.

In sum, the recommendation to run a café is really a creative idea. However, if the investor of Monarch Books is eager (eager is adj.)to (for) profit, they should take into account Monarch Books characteristics, loss in customers and profit if stopping the children’s reading section, and new issues caused by café, then measure the pros and cons respectively.

因为讨厌讨厌换输入法所以上面都是用的英文，见谅(>_<)
几个我觉得不足的地方。。
1、单词选用和主谓一致，这个应该要每次写的时候都记在心里。有不确定意思的单词多查查韦氏，没事做做汉译英~
2、正式写作尽量不要用省略，特别是which和that。毕竟和ets出的阅读变态句子不一样，自己写的东西要让人一目了然那种~
3、思路上不多座评论，因为我还没有写过这题，就瞄了一眼提纲。不过最近一段总结，句子有一点表达不清，并列的东西太多可以用plua或者起新句子~

我弱暴了的issue，可刚开始准备aw，欢迎来拍：https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1318613-1-2.html

celineyuanUID: 3199020

谢谢，修改的好仔细啊~~自己看不出这么多问题呢。 2# asdf123101

panmingming2008UID: 2535351

赞一下两位，表达层次分明，页面很整洁。

wangjunjieheartUID: 3205691

顶起啊

wangjunjieheartUID: 3205691

顶塌啊

wangjunjieheartUID: 3205691

郻好

wangjunjieheartUID: 3205691

公分母顶

wangjunjieheartUID: 3205691

顶顶顶