阿叶...2月5...作文抱佛脚...求拍砖~

阿叶UID: 3145578

哎呀...这作文题是JJ里的...结果写起来肿么一点感觉都没有啊...'
求拍砖~~~

鸟儿UID: 3238411

Conclusion: 叶子这篇文章条理清晰，逻辑紧密。但是有长句子的语法有点绕，鸟儿看的有些晕晕乎乎，我觉得是因为代词较多，主语变换也多，导致有点指代不明。还有时态要注意，最省事就是用现在时。想用优美的词句帮你polish，可是我实在也想不出太多. 文中附有一篇我昨天阅读《李笑来高分作文185篇》时候碰到的--are parents the best teachers?，感觉跟你的有些观点接近。推荐给你阅读，很多句式词汇可以借鉴哦！加油！






a对了 我不能贴附件！QQ传给你吧

鸟儿UID: 3238411

阿叶作文1.27 -----edited by 鸟儿
101203NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should help children to do their work or encourage children to do their work independently.

When [url=]we think[/url][u1] about the relationship between parents and their children, we can say that parents are [url=]the first teacher and[/url][u2] the first teacher of their children, [url=]hence the idea of parents being the best teacher[/url][u3] . There are several reasons for that, such as they are the first people [url=]they[/url][u4] met, the ones children having spent most of their time with their parents and children having grown up with their parents as well.
(这句活主语是parents，前后要保持一致。黄色为添加，灰色为删去。)

However, in my point of view, although parents are called the best teachers of their children, when children are doing their work, parents should let them finish the work independently.

In the first place, today, it is an important for everyone to develop the ability of independence. Parents will not be accompanied with their children forever. So it is important for children to get rid of reliance from their parents. If children [url=]were[/url][u5] not independent , how can they make a living after leaving their parents？Thus, we can draw the conclusion that to improve the ability of independence, we should let children finish work on their own.

Also, working independently can develop the ability of problem-solving . If parents help their children too much , they will have less occasions to[url=] resolve[/url][u6] the difficulties. For instance,
fisherman’s son always let the fish caught by his father be his dinner. However, his father died in a sudden, which shocked the son. [url=]Moreover, a bigger question is [/url][u7] , what else he could eat for dinner without fish . The story shows that the most essential way to solve others’ problem is not to help them to solve it , but to teach them how to solve it. Therefore, parents should let their children to work on their own.

I would like to say that I totally agree that in a child’s growing process, parents has an irreplaceable effect , but with my example I want to indicate that it is necessary and essential to let children to finish their work independently.

Conclusion: 叶子这篇文章条理清晰，逻辑紧密。但是有长句子的语法有点绕，鸟儿看的有些晕晕乎乎，我觉得是因为代词较多，主语变换也多，导致有点指代不明。还有时态要注意，最省事就是用现在时。想用优美的词句帮你polish，可是我实在也想不出太多. 文中附有一篇我昨天阅读《李笑来高分作文185篇》时候碰到的，感觉跟你的有些观点接近。推荐给你阅读，很多句式词汇可以借鉴哦！加油！

推荐相关阅读：
2. Are parents the best teachers?
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
『分析』
因观点绝对而不能同意。
不是所有的父母都是好老师
最好的老师不仅仅是父母
有些父母尽管善良，但对教育孩子一无所知
有些父母不配做孩子的老师，对孩子有不良影响
『范文』
Obviously, in most cases the earliest teachers people have are their parents, and parents are generally most concerned about the development of their children. However, it is not completely true to say that parents are the best teachers.
First of all, not all parents are good teachers. As normal individuals, some parents more or less have some bad habits. Even though parents almost instinctively devote themselves to cultivating their offspring, the outcome might turn out to be disappointment, for all children tend to unconsciously or subconsciously copy everything including bad ones from their parents. Another deficiency of parents as teachers is the fact that most parents are lack of common senses of education. All too often we observe some parents tend to pursue their cherished but failed dream by forcing their children to develop in a prearranged direction. Ironically, when their children do not follow the instructions, the children will be regarded as disobedient or allegedly rebellious. In fact, it is parents rather than their children that virtually disobey common senses.
Moreover, some parents are qualified as good teachers, but not all of them are the best ones. When children are in the preliminary school, it is not surprising that parents are perhaps capable of teaching their children almost every subject even better than professional teachers in the school. But the situation will not last long. We live in a world where knowledge is accumulated by multiplying and at the same time becomes more and more specialized. Therefore, to be a professional in a certain field today takes much longer time than has ever been before. No parent is able to be professional in all fields, though they might be experts in one or more fields. Wise parents often release rather than charge their children as early as possible. They are aware of the possibility outside the family.
Parents may, nevertheless, help their children much more than do good teachers. Most parts of children education are virtually beyond teachers' reaches. It is parents that supplement. Psychology studies have shown us that parents' love sometimes has astonishingly magic power to their children. Albeit Einstein's mother and that of Forest Gump are both good examples. On the other hand, parents might do their children harm more than do bad teachers as well. The natures of those children whose parents have divorced are often severely distorted. In a word, it is rather superficial to simply say that parents are the best teachers.


[u1]asked



[u2]删除



[u3]hence parents are most concerned about the development of children



[u4]children



[u5]are



[u6]overcome



[u7]Accordingly, the problem for the son appeared,

鸟儿UID: 3238411

我QQ传给你WORD附件。

多聒噪几句，快快赐我附件功能吧!!!

alexfanfanUID: 3133140

不好意思 改晚了

4intoloveUID: 3202483

是不是在香港考？