第一次写大作文 轻拍啊 麻烦帮看一下嘛 给跪了

婉妹儿UID: 2974388

topic:international tourism is now more common than ever before.Some feel that this is  positive trend,while others do not.
Nowadays,thanking to the development of transports and the improvement of individuals’ living standards,there is an increasing number of people choosing travel aborad as a major way to enjoy their lifes. However, international tourism has been an issue debated in the world.Some maintain the point that it is a poison .But I do believe that its advantages overweigh its disadvantages, by considering the economical reason and cultural exchanges.

In the first place, by catching the golden chance of promoting the international tourism industry, many countries strongly improve their economy. Not only the developed countries but also the less developed
countries benefit from this Midas touch. For example, in 2005, Finnish
tourism grossed over 6.7 billion erp. With a 5 percent increase from the previous year. Bolivia, the poorest and the least developed country in Latin Ameirca, which takes advantage of their natural resouces, does boom their lackluster finance .Therefore, buttressed by international tourism, economy become robusts.
Moreover, by enhancing the international tourism, the people from different contries,of different color
understand each other much better. Let’s take a real case for example, I used to think the Muslim people is unfriendly. However, after I came back from Dubai, my mind is are total changed,because of having a better understanding of their belief. Actually,They are friendly and kind. In another word, traveling to other countries makes culture exchanges more lively.
Notably, some people may think that international tourisim would do harm to the environment, since they hold that travelling aboard is a negative trend.Nevertheless, their argument is groundless as ignoring the conduct from government. Goverment can enact laws to decrease or even avoid polluting the enviorment. So travelling aboard does not have to be offensive or poisonous to have a negative effect.

By way of conclusion, I firmly believe that international tourism contribute a lot to the economy and communication between people all over the world. We have seen and will continue to see the booming of international trade industry.

其实下个月就要考试了
拖拖拉拉到现在才开始写大作文。。
给跪了 请大家帮忙看看 能得多少分啊
还有不足什么的 硬伤有木有

bqianaUID: 193168

5

婉妹儿UID: 2974388

2# bqiana
具体是哪些不足呢 谢谢

bqianaUID: 193168

语言基础不错，
问题在于
1. 口语风格占了一部分，非正式文体，有日志风格
2. 文体而言是偏重于美式，比较自由奔放，
3. 例子太细，报告风格，非雅思

婉妹儿UID: 2974388

4# bqiana
要怎么写 才能使雅思喜欢的文体 啊