批改网说偶是中式用法，黔驴技穷，恳请指教，再拜不已。

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批改网给这篇小文的分数挺高。下面红色标记出的词组是网站点评出的中式英语用法。改了七八回同义词替换还是不成。又因为google网站一直不稳定，没法子搜索词组使用率，所以请教各位大侠大牛，恳请不吝赐教。再拜不已。p.s.有其他建议，欢迎一并指出！

topic: in some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students.Do you think this is a good idea?Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.


essay:


    Although I strongly agree with the opinion that the primary task for teenagers is receiving education, I stand up for those who advocate young people taking part-time jobs besides maintaining academic pursuits. In my point of view, students benefit a lot from part-time jobs , for two main points that I will outline below.

    The first reason I would like to elaborate on is that taking a part-time job offers a teenager a special way to get in touch with the real world. Young students at this age generally eager to learn more than what they can obtain from school. They are vigorous and ambitious and not contented to be treated like naive children. Instead of protecting them from the sophisticated outside world, they should be encouraged to have some out-off-curriculum life experiences, typically by doing a part-time job, which can be arranged with no conflict with students' daily schedules. What's more, in some circumstances, teenagers can combine the stuff which they have acknowledged from books with practical experiences abstracted from working. For instance, a part-time job in a press house definitely present one who is fascinated in literature plentiful opportunities to access fine articles, thus the student can develop a more comprehensive idea concerns the subject he/she has taken from school.

     On top of that, taking a part-time job helps to establish the idea of arranging money properly for a teenage , either consciously or not. By taking a part-time job, a student no longer rely totally on the allowance given by his/her parents, however, he/she has an income, no matter how minimal it is. Teenagers should learn to be capable of managing their own financial issues, for their adulthood is around the corner. Undoubtedly, one who is responsible for his own deeds demands being responsible for planning his own budgets as well as balance expenditures and incomes. In addition to that, being able to earn an amount of money make adolescents feel more confident of themselves, in the same time, their positive characters are being shaped gradually, consequently, the benign compositions will benefit them in their later life.

     What should not be denied is the fact that generally teenagers are immature both in mental and in physique, hence they need essential guidance to handle mistakes , even trouble, made by being a green-hand at work. However, if they are guided properly, taking a part-time would never be a regret in one's adolescence.

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