Bernice 的作文帖

gtlddsUID: 3228712

3月19日 101211 do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People think it is more enjoyable to work three days aweek for long time than work five days a week for shorter time

In todays’ society a large quantity of people are living their lives with high pace owing to the fierce competition. Normally, they have to work from 8am to 5pm, from Monday to Friday. With the great pressure , some people share the belief that it is far more better to work three hours a week for long time compared to working five days a week for a shorter time .However, I advocate that working five days a week is more appropriate for it allowed people to live their lives in a healthier way.
同意5天好
Admittedly, working three days a week enable people to have much more time of their own, so they can go shopping ,hang out with friends or just stay at home for a whole day. However, it also required large quantity of work accomplished in a short time, which means more working stress. What’s more, a man who have worked for a long hours will be inefficient, the longer the hours are , the worsen the situation becomes. Under no circumstance should we behead the working rhythm ofour body as human is not machine.（这一句看不明白）
让步段。（这里有很多观点都可以展开成为一段，比如说会比较轻松，这样更有效率，然后举个例子什么的，就比下一段只有两句话要好。）
Furthermore,working in shorter hours in longer period allowed us not to accomplish our work in a hurry. Thus, providing us an opportunity to have a deep thought about thework and perfect it.
这一段太短了。完全就是告诉别人我不会写了。可以举个例子什么的，扩充一下。
In addition, in order to start the work on time .people have to get up early. There is a survey said that 70 percent of people spend 1 hours on the road to workplace in average, so most people have to get up around 6 am. As far as I am concerned, get  tingup early do good to our health according to the time schedule of the body. Alsoit prevent us from messy life, such as going to the night club instead of sleepingat home and drink alcohol .
这一段完全看不到和主题的联系= =
Inconclusion, it is not true that working longer hours in three days moreenjoyable than working shorter hours in five days, for it offense the nature anddetrimental to our health, while the latter put our life in a healthier pace .
总结

额，应该改进一下，扩充一下内容，最好中间段都写得差不多长。

gtlddsUID: 3228712

尽快帮我改一下哟~
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1335973-3-1.html

Arthur2012UID: 3275426

15# 猫屎咖啡加冰否 已改。加油！