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发表于 2003-8-29 01:09:45
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刚刚改完网络就又断掉了,TMD气得我都开始说粗话了
本来是下午4点多就改好了,结果到现在才,都1点了……极度angry
152"The only responsibility of corporate executives, provided they stay within the law, is to make as much money as possible for their companies."
I concede that making profits for companies may be one of the duties for the company leaders, however, it does not follow that it is the only responsibility for them. What they should also highlight is their potential environmental impacts, their company image, and the interests of customers.这三个好像彼此太独立了,这样写有点牵强,容易散掉
First and foremost, corporate executives should consider whether the waste materials and the emitted gas have some pernicious consequences for the surroundings and even the ecological system as a whole no matter whether or not relative environmental regulations exist in the regions in which the companies locate.(太乱了) Environmental pollutions have been the pressing problems that plague the whole society seriously(seriously多余,或者放到前边) and have an ever-increasing tendency(用which is). Every people (?), executives included, (??!)should shoulder the responsibility for protecting environment from damaging. Once they have such consciousness, not only do(will?) their companies make long-term profits, but also it is (前后平行得不好)beneficial for the sustainable development for the future generations. Admittedly, some international companies do obey environmental laws within their own nations, but many subcompanies they constructed in those nations where the laws are poorly developed may shirk their accountabilities for protecting environment(主谓宾混乱?), and consequently bring the dramatic calamity(calamity已经很大了,用不着dramatic,这种问题也是经常出的一种) for local citizens. Empirical evidence shows that this activity will put our earth in the verge of endangering(verge of 的就不是endangering了!再读!). Once the whole plant is damaged, what will the companies profits come from?这样结束好像不太好吧
In addition, the company image is of paramount importance that surmount the importance of making money, which will benefit their companies in the long run. How can one imagine that a company with a vicious public impression can have the enduring development? To establish a positive image means to create active and upward environment(?) for their employees to cooperate passionately and compete in a benign and helpful way. Otherwise, (otherwise是否则?好像otherwise并没有besides的意思)by taking proper actions such as increasing the salaries, and ameliorating the living and working conditions, the companies can motivate workers' initiative and creativity. Only (by)doing these can the entire morale of the company can (前边用了only谓语要提上去)be improved and the image of the company will be formed. The future success is only counting on the days.
What's more, consumer's interests should be also given the(the多余) tantamount importance. Of course, this point is also closely related to improve(improving) the image of the company. Admittedly, company executives might attract a large number of customers by overstatement and even the bogus ads which bring them with considerable short-tern profits. However, once consumers find their products are not so perfect as the ads advocate or even have inferior quality, no longer will they purchase their products,(句号,then重起) then it is impossible for these companies to make further profits. What's more, if companies are totally reckless for the consumers, they may damage consumers' health and even life, especially for those foodstuff and medicine companies. Therefore, consumer's interests should also be placed on an important position.
In conclude, to make money is only a trifling responsibility that corporate executives should take on as compared with the following ones: the environmental awareness, the image of the company, and the consumer' interests. Only doing all these things can companies have long-term success.
*******?像第4段,讨论得并不深入,感觉只是停留到了表面,论述现象,没有继续探索一些新的东西。
立题的方法欠考虑,这样写效果并不好。
和原来的差距不小。 |
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