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[作文] 【daily writing作业】小白SJoyyyの作文贴 [复制链接]

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发表于 2012-3-29 13:24:58 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
一楼本人基本状况:考T小白一只,大三ing                         即将5.12一战,准备时间1个月
                         昨天新注册,想跟随大家开始着手作文的准备,
                         今天上午新鲜热辣辣的首次托福作文马上奉上,请各位前辈们多多指点。
                        ( 第一次写T作文,木有限时,我会慢慢开始限时的╮(╯▽╰)╭)
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沙发
发表于 2012-3-29 13:29:27 |只看该作者
3.29  110304NA   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important problems affecting our society today could be solved within our lifetime.
      Thousands years of human history being through reflect the trail, from our ancestors to we generation, that how we revolutionized and addressed numerous difficulties especially those toughest and crucial objects recurring every period. That is to say, the most essential issues defined in societal and natural aspects facing us nowadays won’t be genuinely handled across our life span. Here’s my performance.
      Variety of emergent but unsettled societal phenomenon---- that is, starvations, inferior sanitary conditions, unrighteousness wars, even terrorisms, are all continuously disturbing our society and minimizing our living quality mentally and physically as well. Even though the endeavors have been making, the issues of starvation and terrible sanitary facilities in impoverished spheres and regions such as South Africa, where always necessitate substantial international rescuing foods and medical treatments, seem eternal and permanent. Further, one 1930’s sentence just flashed back into my mind:” Even I had said it already, to all the mothers and fathers here, I shall say it again and again and again, your boys would never been sent into any foreign war---FDR”, which is itself so ridiculous whenever you read it since unrighteousness wars would never stop its steps as long as the interests exist. By the same token, terrorisms boom and bust for the sake of its benefits and, therefore, make a vicious circle.
      Apart from human community affairs, environmental circumstances we confronted with are equally unbearable. As a student majoring in Environmental Science, it’s sorrowful to be bombarded with severe topics whose spectra are from over output greenhouse gases as carbon dioxide resulting in global warming and extreme climates to sources of drinking water contaminated by reckless emissions of effluent with hazardous elements leading to human and fauna diseases. Doesn’t the international community acknowledge the very situation? Sarcastically, it does. Interests being the core of the world determine that, no matter what we will pay in return, the development of economy and arms are the priority thereby topping at the peak and leading other countries. Thus, who cares so much about the result of irreversible deterioration of environment?
      Granted, we are informed that battles are taken for going green and peace, as the Copenhagen UN Climate Change Conference 2009 and the coming Nuclear Security Summit 2012. Yet, disappointed obviously, the Copenhagen one genuinely was a failure only reaching meaningless framework agreement. In contrast, let us censor whether the Nuclear Security Summit can be a consolation.
      Without saying, only if we humanity reach a consensus of the sustainable methodology in settling these unavoidable problems and with our great intellects, endeavors, perseverance, and integrity, can we minimize, but not solve thoroughly, the adverse side of these issues within our life span.

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板凳
发表于 2012-3-29 14:12:41 |只看该作者
已改,fabulous! 2# SJoyyy
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地板
发表于 2012-3-29 14:15:23 |只看该作者
莫非这个点各位还在裹被窝~还是就我这下午没课又还没上班的银这么闲着o(╯□╰)o
自我总结一下,第一篇作文的产出的确较慢,不熟练,需要动脑。
重点是我现在要去积累例子了!DATA啥的也要琢磨琢磨。
ALSO,下次开始不用word了,自动纠错神马的,没有益处= = 写完再扔进word吧!
加油,考前怎么也得练个10来篇的。。 绝不重考,Make it!!!

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发表于 2012-3-29 14:16:56 |只看该作者
晚上9点左右会比较热闹,期待你的新作,我已经等不及了! 4# SJoyyy

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发表于 2012-3-29 14:26:11 |只看该作者
3# 秋雨荆州 Thanks for ur compliment !! 我很受鼓舞哈!期待你的下次批改。
时间的不足,例子的积累,单词的误拼,练习过少等问题,我会努力练习并解决的! ^ ^

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发表于 2012-3-29 14:33:34 |只看该作者
5# 秋雨荆州 嘿嘿。关于你的评论里的一气呵成~ 其实我写的时候有点断气儿

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发表于 2012-3-29 22:47:25 |只看该作者
拜读
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发表于 2012-3-30 04:40:53 |只看该作者
已改,加油!!!!

欢迎回改
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发表于 2012-3-30 22:13:53 |只看该作者
9# FlyingFie 谢谢你的修改,好用心的呢,果然比自己修改看出的问题要多~ 从高中开始就被老师说喜欢老长的句子让他读得岔气。。我会继续努力的哈~
whispering,,,我还没打算考G 看T考完后怎么安排吧 ^ ^ 刚下课,尽快回改你的哟!

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发表于 2012-3-30 22:16:00 |只看该作者
8# originalsin 谢谢你的修改~ 大周五晚上的还上大气控制工程 T T 我尽快也去拜读拜读你的哟

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发表于 2012-3-30 22:36:29 |只看该作者
3.30的作文写好啦。悲剧的是依然超时,结论就是,我不够熟练!
受刺激的我大晚上上大气污染控制工程都在发奋看书。
可惜的是蝌蚪文和老师的音调一样催眠~
好滴,下层贴上今天的essay!  热烈欢迎大家狠狠地批斗吐槽给我建议!:loveliness:
btw, 我还不能贴attachment吗?

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发表于 2012-3-30 22:38:42 |只看该作者
3月30日 101203NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should help children to do their work or encourage children to do their work independently.
      Children, more and more characterized as dominated cuties in modern families, are genuinely overly spoiled by all-encompassing means (e.g., parents’ assistance with their work, family’s overprotection for them, etc.) which resulted in misbehaviors, egotism, solitary, and even going astray in their further life. So when it comes to the issue that the young would be the real beneficiaries with parents’ aid of their work, I shall vote for disagreement.
      From the aspect of children, receive parenting assistance overload theoretically making them dependent, slothful, fragile, unconfident, and owning low self-expectancy. Nowadays along with population explosion, especially in countries with high birth rates as China and India, peer pressure has become one of the intractable matters children confronted, not only in elementary schools and kinder gardens but also in families as well; hence, the fierce competition between classmates, buddies, and siblings are daily occurrence and necessitate children’s capacity of resolving questions, accomplishing tasks, and being adept in socializing with mutual understanding which are all impossible to achieve relying on parents. Thus parents’ responsibility is solely cultivating their children to achieve by themselves except the competition ceases, which is absolutely fantasy based on the natural discipline.
      Considering about parents, who are still awake after children fall asleep concerning whether their little sweetheart is well-being or not and dedicate themselves in making fortune day and night thereby providing offspring being nurtured in better conditions and higher spheres, nevertheless, they get back home with daily exhausted minds as well as bodies but keep doing households as cooking, laundry, what’s more, helping doing children’s work. Further, at present even primary schools are saturated with cutting-edge and state-of-the-art equipments and advanced teaching methodology; therefore, confusion of how to understand teacher’s puzzling questions and reach the requirements will definitely fill parents’ brains. Consequently, the win-win solution hinges on fostering children’s abilities of working independently.
      Apparently assistances parents offered are indispensible in cases of risky and hazardous works or anything critical which may mislead the young. Yet, providing encourages, compliments and sound suggestions leading children forming soundness personalities and capabilities of autonomy is the priority for parents.

今天累得晕晕的,写出来的感觉,很干涩。感觉没那么灵气T T

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发表于 2012-3-30 23:23:14 |只看该作者
13# SJoyyy
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发表于 2012-3-31 00:48:33 |只看该作者
14# 秋雨荆州 你说得很对~我自己读出来的感觉也并不很好T T
关于overload,是有这样的用法的噢,e.g information overload
关于lead,我写着写着就忘了前面写了lead该用to来接。household 后面我忘记接chores. 连在一起就等于housework ^ ^
solitary,有孤僻之意,hazardous可以替代dangerous,今天用词可能没那么perfect了,还是要用心积累并且恰当用之。
明天可以放假回家了,希望我能克制住先写篇作文。期待你的再次修改~!

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