求批改作文，并求稳定作文互相批改伙伴

宪法第一修正案UID: 3247603

在职准备，6月考。
自己每周最多写2-3篇，参与daily writing不太现实。
想征一个备战伙伴，可以互相批改作文。
希望有时间和水平合适的朋友应征。






[Topic] Some people spend their entire lives in one place. Others move a number of times throughout their lives, looking for a better job, house, community, or even climate. Which do you prefer: staying in one place or moving in search of another place? Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.




[My essay]
Hometown is a strong word in Chinese culture, thus most Chinese people actually tend to spend most of their lives in one place, the place where they were born. I, however, prefer to move around the world to meet new people, and to find a place with cozier climate.


The most significant reason that I believe people should move to other places from time to time is to meet new people and new ideas. Friends at hometown are basically of similar backgrounds, thus they probably tend to think and act easily alike. Although it is understandable that hanging out with friends with similar viewpoints is an indeed comfortable experience, it lacks stimuli of new ideas at the same time. In the contrary, by moving to other places, people can meet totally fresh views and become able to leave behind their unnecessary fixed ideas. As to my personal experience, I have always been glad that I made up my mind to go abroad to Japan, where I meet people from different parts of the world. I was more than shocked when I found that my neighbor Matt, an American guy, jogged almost 2 hours everyday. I felt lucky when I meet Lingo, who is the very first people I ever meet who comes from Africa, and had him to tell me about the real Africa. Besides these people I meet during my regular stay at Tokyo, I have to also appreciate those various friends I luckily came across during my trips around, which made me realize that the world is of so many varieties and possibilities.


Second, I believe climate is also another reason people decide to move to other places. Before moving to Tokyo, I never considered climate as even one factor people take into consideration when deciding on where to live. However, after moving to Tokyo, I started to realize how different the whether could be between two cities. I spent my college life in Wuhan, a city in central China. Wuhan is famous for its hotness, and is even called "firespot" in China. Normally, the temperature in summer of Wuhan can climb to as high as 40 Celsius degrees and worse such harsh whether sometimes lasts for almost one month. Most students find it almost impossible to fall asleep in the night, and thus choose to take shower with cold water to cool their bodies down. While in Tokyo, basically the temperature in the hottest day of a whole summer is only around 35 degree, and the so-called hot whether, which means the days with high temperature higher than 35 degree, will only last for a couple of days. Besides moderate summers, Tokyo also enjoys relatively warm winter thanks to its adjacency to Pacific Ocean, and the mountains that lies in the north of it to block most cold winds from the north in winter. I have actually taking consideration of moving to other places all the time, however, I can hardly find any other place that is so lucky to have such an enjoyable climate.


Finally, I also want to response to some potential reasons that make people prefer to stay at one place instead of moving. I believe, among other reasons, to have family and close friends around is a very important, if not the most, reason why people take moving to other places negatively. It is true that by moving to a new place, people generally become physically apart from their family and friends, however, I believe it is of no obstacle to keep in close contact with friends in such an era of information age and with helps of so many great tools, even they are thousands of miles away. No matter wherever we are, we can chat with friends with Skype, we can be kept updated with Facebook, we can share pictures with Picasa or Flickr. I personally found it perfectly easy to share my life with my family and dear friends, even after I came to Japan or when I took long trips around to other places. I have never blamed physical distance as a reason to lose a friend, thus I never think distance will preserve me from moving to other places.


When I graduated from college , I decided to go to study in Japan for my master degree. This decision is probably the most important and right one among all I have ever made.. I enjoyed meeting completely new people since then, and loved the cozy climate in Tokyo. I, however, won't stop here for the reason. I have a long list of places in which I wish I can spent a few years each, and I believe I will make them all realized in the future.

kevinlllamUID: 3281627

打算七月一戰（嚴格叫二戰），想和樓主𡚒戰, 但grammer不好，改文有難度。
加油努力吧！

kevinlllamUID: 3281627

just try

last paragraph:

I decided to have my master degree in Tokyo where has a cozy climate when I graduated from college. This decision is extremely important for me because it  concerned a lots of my  future. It is the biggest one among all I have ever made. I enjoyed to taking with the stranger, making new friend since then. Although Tokyo is one of my favorite place, I will not stay there. The world is immense, and  having a myriad of beautiful places I have never been there. I want to travel all over the world; i want to spend some time to live in different countrys; I want to widen my horizon through livin in different culture. I will not cage myself in a tiny, little place. Analogous with a bird, I want to fly! I know exactly how hard is it, but I will be relentless to achieve my dream.
不懂改文，似改寫多-___-，有錯請指教
comment : 結構好混亂（個人感覚）

kevinlllamUID: 3281627

grammar差，有錯請指教

宪法第一修正案UID: 3247603

3# kevinlllam

多謝修改，你改完之後覺得清楚很多啊。
如果你覺得合適的話，以後可以一起接著互相修改作文
或者其他的信息共享，一起準備啊。