5.5考试，急急急！跪求各位达人帮我看下作文，万分感谢！

sherryj1985UID: 2825816

2010.1.15
35min (377words)
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: in order to become financially responsible adults, children should manage their own money at the young age


People may divided when it comes to the issue that whether parents should let their children mange money at the very young age. people in increasing number maintain the idea that children would benefit from manage their own money not only in financial responsibility but also in the cultivation of independence. Based on my observation , I agree with the statement.
First and foremost, there is no other better way to teach children learning financial responsibility than let themselves manage some money. A good case in point is lin, one of the most famous financial analyst in china. In a recent interview, lin maintains that his success should be contributed to the cultivation
of financial awareness from his parents. When he was still young, his parents let lin manage all his own money. Through this way, he begins to learn how to distribute money reasonably and how to
use money to invest stocks . On the contrary, due to the lack of financial awareness, many young adults lack financially responsibility. It is not uncommon in china, most parents
always give their children money once they are out of money. As a result, no doubt, most Chinese college students still can not rely on themselves. According to a recent survey on sina.com, 78% college student get tuition fee and living expense from parents, only 17%
student work in part time to earn tuition fee for themselves. More ironically, even after graduation, 45% young adult still get some living expense from their parents.
In addition to help children learn financial responsibility, controlling money at a very early age also help
cultivating
children’s independence. For instance, one of my cousin , her parents gave her all the life cost for three years school life the first day she entered high school. At first, my cousin did not have any idea how to manage
money, she used half of the money the first month
in high school. Yet, when she realized
her parents would not give her money any more, my cousin began to save money and make detailed plan for her lives cost per month .After three years in high school, my cousin actually become a very independent person, she not only manage her own account totally, but also learn to plan for her own future life.
Based on what was discussed above , we can safely draw the conclusion
that letting children manage their own money at the young age can help cultivate their financial responsibility and independence.

zpx2227UID: 3149712

1# sherryj1985 时间 必须控制在  27 8分钟完成      在留一两分钟  检查拼写错误       我昨天  考的   打了430个字

sherryj1985UID: 2825816

2# zpx2227
谢谢呀，我会努力加快打字速度的

sherryj1985UID: 2825816

2010.1.22
Do you agree or disagree
People who go outside are more successful and happier than people who stay in villages
30MIN  455WORDS
According to a recent survey on sina.com, one of the most famous  website in china, 74% young adult maintain that they would be more successful and much happier if they go outside rather than stay in villages. Actually, this issue has already drew swift and widespread consideration by the whole community in china.  in my observation, despite work outside may have many benefits such as more job opportunity, better techniques. Individuals   who stay in villages  may be more successful and happier.
First and foremost,  even people who live in big cities has more job opportunities and seems more easier to success. meanwhile, they are facing more  pressure than their peer in small towns. Lin zhou, the chief Chinese societal expect, point out that, individuals in big cities  works much harder to get promotion ,this is partly because people there suffer several times higher pressure and more serious competitions than those in small towns. According to lin, who works as a sales manager in Bestbuy,  he works  10 hours everyday to avoid be fired by company and to get  promotion. And it cost him 4 years to get promoted to the position of sales manager. yet, his classmate who works in a small town, has already be  District Manager after 2 years work.In a word, more opportunities does not necessary mean success. Because the lack of competition, people who works in small towns often easily get promotion. In addition, people in small towns always have better relationship than those in big cities, which is also an important factor contribute to success.
When it comes to happiness, people in small towns always seem more content about their life situation. This is partly because the living costs in big cities are much higher than in small towns. According to the recent released data from Chinese government, the real estate in big cities are 4-5 times higher than those in small towns on average. Yet, the average salary of individuals are only 3 times higher in big cities. Which means, a individual works in big cities have to work 10 years longer if they want buy a same area house in small villages. Thus, it is not uncommon, in Beijing and shanghai, the two most biggest city in china, children always live with their parents even after they get married. A recent news on internet point out that , there are even 6 people lives in a small house in shanghai ,which only have 30 squaresmeters.
Adimitidely, go outsides always mean more job opportunities, better to explore one’s horizion. Yet, when it comes to success and happiness, we can safely draw the conclusion that stay in small towns and villages may be more successful and happier.

sherryj1985UID: 2825816

写的太烂了，没人帮忙改呀:L自己感觉写的像小学生作文样，举的例子都是我的亲戚呀，表妹呀:mad: 太悲催了~~
自己修改了一篇，请达人们帮我看看改了后的吧
People may divided when it comes to the issue  whether parents should let  children mange money at the very young age. Recently,an increasing number of individuals believe that children may suffer the consequence of abuse money as they can not realize the value of it. Yet, according my own observation, children actually would benefit from（还有什么说法吗?） managing their own money not only in financial responsibility but also in the cultivation of independence（这句有没有更好的说法）. My statement depend on the following reasons.
First and foremost, It is not uncommon in china, most parents  always give their children some money for daily use. Yet, most（三个most如何替换） children do not have the basic concept about the value of money, not mention how to manage it. In most cases,They just use all the money up long before the next time they get money from parents. There is a growing worry that when those children grow up, they probably often confront the embarrassing situation of lack of money when they are going to do some real important investigate, such as buying a car or a flat. Unfortunately，this worry has already be proved by a recent survey on sina.com, one of the most famous website in china, according to the survey，78%  Chinese young adults  fails to manage their money, and use their money out every month, only 17% individuals would save some money for future use and do some investigation. More ironically, the survey point out that 35% young adult still get financial support  from their parents.  In a word, there is no  better way to teach children learning financial responsibility than just let themselves manage some money when they are young.
In addition, managing money at a early age can help children cherish money and
recognize how hard they parent work to earn money. A good case in point is my cousin, when she was in primary school, my cousin always like to compare with other children ,when she see others buy some new toys and new clothes ,she always ask even beg her mother to buy a same one for  her.so her  parents decides to give her all the living expense for three years primary school. At first, my cousin does not have any idea how to manage  money, she uses half of the money the first month to buy new clothes as her classmates. Yet,  one day when she realizes  her parents would not give her money any more, and she would have enough money for food, my cousin begins to save money and makes detailed plan for her lives cost per month  school month .After three years in high school, my cousin actually learn to cherish money, she not only save money to  her own account , and also decide to study hard to help change the financial condition of her family.
adimitidely, letting children manage money may have some disadvantages such as distracting their studies, time-consuming or even abusing of money, yet these drawbacks are something could be overcome by proper arrangement. All in all，we can safely draw the conclusion  that letting children manage their own money at the young age can help cultivate their financial responsibility and independence.

秋雨荆州UID: 2903781

5# sherryj1985

sherryj1985UID: 2825816

5# sherryj1985
秋雨荆州 发表于 2012-4-19 10:49

太感谢秋雨荆州童鞋了，你给我提的意见都很中肯，我写作文的时候很容易写着写着逻辑就乱了，可能是我每次都怕写不完直接提笔写，从来不先想提纲逻辑什么的，以后我会多注意的，十分感谢你！

sherryj1985UID: 2825816

不知道为啥，我上传不了附件，这个作文我修改了一次了，不然实在太烂，请各位大神们再帮我看看
4.20
Do you agree or disagree
People should have hobbies and do physical activities that are very different from their own work

Due to the ever-increasing pressure, people nowadays are suffering more and more serious competition and pressure than before. Thus, it is essential for individuals to pursue some hobbies to
relieve the stress and tension they encounter in daily life and work. Equally helpful is doing some physical activities which can refresh one’s mind and body. Especially, according to my observation,
having hobbies and doing physical activities
which are different from one’s daily work are much more benifical for individuals.

First and foremost,
hobbies and physical activities which are different from work can help individuals
better relaxing. it is not uncommon nowadays, majority of Chinese young white collar always feel exhausted and unable to boost efficiency in their daily work. According to a recent survey conducted by sina.com,the most famous website in china.80% young individuals choose to stay at home and read some reference books to keep competitive edges. Yet, this only
make them even more tired and more unefficiency in every day work. Clearly, there is no other better way for those brain worker to relax themselves than just to do some physical activities, such as jogging in the park or doing yoga. A good case in point is my aunt, who is a financial analyst in stock company. after a whole day’s harding work my aunt always feels exhausted and tired totally, but she insists to swimming for an hour every day. According to her, doing physical sports not only help her forget all the pressure and unpleasant thing, but also enable her a better condition in the next day’s work. Similarly, for those people who doing physical work every day, such as sportsman, enjoying a cup of tea and some traditional music may be much a convenient way to help them relax and restore their energy.

Apart from relaxing, different hobbies and
physical activities from work can also expand one’s outlook. There are so many amazing things around
us waiting to be discovered and appreciated. It would be a great pity if a person is confined within a small space of his own
work area. For example, a
scientist who spend all the time on chemistry experiment may appreciate the beauty of the world if he has a hobby of taking photographs in the natural world. Likewise, a business manager may feel the amazing of life, if he is interested in biology and likes to collect the sample of different insects. In a world, have different hobbies and physical activities are good vehicles to help people escape from boring work and
enrich their life experience.

All in all, pursuing hobbies and doing physical activities that are different from one’s ordinary work can help people relax better, and add variety to one’ life