512一战！ 作文求凌辱~求拍砖~求怒喷~求讽刺~

shayh0917UID: 3289012

at universities and colleges,sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support


According to a recent survey conductedby the social department of Fudan University, more than 90per cent universities spend about 80 per cent of their budget on improving thequality of classes and libraries, and use only 20 per cent of their budget to enrichthe students' sports and social activities. However, only less than 20 per centof university cast the equal amount of money on classes and sports and socialactivities. From my point of view, most budgets are not divided wisely.University should take these two aspects equally.

The first reason I want to mention isthat most of the universities today have a long history and some of them maybehave been constructed for more than one hundred years, so they have alreadyspent enough money on improving the teaching facilities. Let me take myuniversity for instance. My school has a history for more than 200 years andsince it takes the quality of classes and libraries very seriously, it willcost my school more than 10, 0000 dollar each year to renovate the classes andpurchase new books, magazines, newspapers to the library. What’s more, itbought 5,000 Apple Computer to decorate the library, which takes my school alarge amount of money. However, my friends and I share the same idea that theschool should put more emphasis on repairing the poor playground and enlargingthe overcrowded gym, because we think the classes and libraries are so perfect thatthere is no need for school to waste money on it.

secondly, giving sports and socialactivities equal financial support will not only keep students fit but alsodevelop their ability of communication, both of which are as important as theknowledge known from the class. It goes without saying that one can not doanything with poor health. Only with a health body can we put our knowledge andexperience into practice. For example, a friend of mine, john, I have to saythat he is a really genius because he graduated from fudan university which isthe best university in my country at the age of 16, and then he got a PHD 3years later. That’s really unbelievable. Both his parents and I are very proudof him and believe that he will become a very famous and successful person inthe future. However, he passed away last year for lack of physical exercises. Healways studies till midnight and drinks a lot of coffee to keep awake whichcauses his poor health. The lack of sports and social activities in Fudan Universityis also a main factor for his death. Moreover, social activities also developthe abilities which now many companies are required for their employees. Forexample, when we take part in the social activities, the ability ofcommunication is improved. We can learn how to deal with different kinds ofpeople, and also it provides more opportunities for us to make new friends andeven jobs.

in conclusion, if equal emphasizes areput on these two aspects, the students’ health as well as the abilities of themwill be improved, which means that it is more likely for them to acquire jobs. Andthe school will benefit from this high rate of employment in return.

shayh0917UID: 3289012

5.12就一战了，早就想练作文可惜一直被拖延症害着到今天才开始TPO1。。罪过罪过。。今天开始1到2天一篇 求各位使劲猛批。。第一次练好多观点 结构都很不成熟。 各位多包涵，欢迎拍砖！！！！！

sherryj1985UID: 2825816

我的作文也很弱，只能改出来一些简单的东西

According to a recent survey conducted by the social department of Fudan University, more than 90per cent universities spend about 80 per cent of their budget on improving the quality of classes and libraries, and use only 20 per cent of their budget to enrich the students' sports and social activities. However, only less than 20 percent of university cast the equal amount of money on classes and sports and social activities. From my point of view, most budgets are not divided(应该是分配吧 distribute) wisely. University should take these two aspects equally.
The first reason I want to mention is that most of the universities today have a long history and some of them maybe have been constructed for more than one hundred years, so they have already spent enough money on improving the teaching facilities. Let me(太口语了) take my university for instance. My school has a history for more than 200 years and since it takes the quality of classes and libraries very seriously, it will cost my school more than 10, 0000 dollar each year to renovate the classes and purchase new books, magazines, newspapers to the library. What’s more, it bought（太多 it，可以换下句式什么的吧） 5,000 Apple Computer to decorate the library, which takes my school a large amount of money. However, my friends and I share the same idea that the school should put more emphasis on repairing the poor playground and enlarging the overcrowded gym, because we think the classes and libraries are so perfect that there is no need for school to waste money on it.
secondly, giving sports and social activities equal financial support will not only keep students fit but also develop their ability of communication, both of which are as important as the knowledge known from the class. It goes without saying（学习了这句说法）that one can not do anything with poor health. Only with a health body can we put our knowledge and experience into practice. For example, a friend of mine, john, I have to say that he is a really genius because he graduated from fudan university which is the best university in my country at the age of 16, and then he got a PHD 3years later. That’s really unbelievable. Both his parents and I are very proud of him and believe that he will become a very famous and successful person in the future. However, he passed away last year for lack of physical exercises. He always studies till midnight and drinks a lot of coffee to keep awake which causes his poor health. The lack of sports and social activities in Fudan University is also a main factor for his death. Moreover, social activities also develop the abilities which now many companies are required for their employees. For example, （举例可以换种说法的，a good case in point）when we take part in the social activities, the ability of communication is improved. We can learn how to deal with different kinds of people, and also it provides more opportunities for us to make new friends and even jobs.


in conclusion, if equal emphasizes are put on these two aspects, the students’ health as well as the abilities of them will be improved, which means that it is more likely for them to acquire jobs. And the school will benefit from this high rate of employment in return.

shayh0917UID: 3289012

Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship between people


There is a debate nowadays on whether telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship between people. Those who are against with this believe that Honesty is the best policy, but people who advocate, on the other hand, claim that white lie is absolutely necessary on some particular occasion. From my point of view, I am in favor of the latter one. A lie may sometimes make it easier for people to gain confidence and not all the relationships are worth your honesty.

At the beginning of my essay, I must make it clear that I do not deny honesty has its own merits. On the contrary, I do believe it is one of the best personalities of a person. What's more, it affects not only individual but also company. It goes without saying that the credit is always the first thing that a company takes into consideration. It would be a disaster for a company, if the public lose confidence in that company. Our society is abounds with this kinds of examples. A food company is reported that it used some harmful chemicals when producing the product, and as soon as the public get this news, they will never buy those products again, even if the company does apologize to the public and no longer uses that chemical. Events show us that honesty does help us a lot.

Good as honesty is, it has its own shortcoming. Suppose one of your best friends, John, gets a serious disease unfortunately. Doctor says that he still gets chance to survive and recovers from it if he holds a positive attitude towards his disease. Then, what will you say if he asks you whether his disease is deadly? I bet you will tell him that it is not a big deal and he will recover from it very soon. Here is a very typical example of white lie. The lie you tell helps john to gain enough confidence for him to overcome the illness and becomes healthy again. There are many examples of this kind in our daily life. Out of politeness, you will probably lie to a lady that she is wonderful tonight, even if she wears what you think is the one of the most disgusting cloths. In conclusion, a white lie will help others gain confidence and will prevent you from being regarded as a impolite and rude person.

In addition, some relationships are not worth your honesty at all. For example, when we come across some criminals, there is no need for us to keep honest. Maybe we will tell criminal the wrong direction so that they will be caught by the police.

From what has been discussed above, we could safely draw the conclusion that it is not wise to take the honesty as the first thing to consider in any relationship, although it does have certain advantages.

shayh0917UID: 3289012

人肉置顶！！！！

秋雨荆州UID: 2903781

5# shayh0917

shayh0917UID: 3289012

6# 秋雨荆州
谢谢提点，被你一说我也着实发现第一段的让步转折有点过长了，心思过多花在句式和结构上了，很感谢给予这么高的评价。 PS： Honesty is the best policy 是句谚语我记得，学校里有讲到过~:)

秋雨荆州UID: 2903781

诚实为上策，原来如此，孤陋寡闻了 7# shayh0917

shayh0917UID: 3289012

it is important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends





Nowadays, a heat controversy on whetherit is important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends has been debated. According to a recent survey conducted by the social departmentof FuDan University, near 55 percent of people prefer keeping old friends. They believe that the quality of friends issuperior to the number of friends.However, there are around 45 percent ofpeople who prefer making new friends argue that making new friends will provideyou with more possibility and opportunities and will also fill your life withthe sense of freshness. From my point of view, I am against with statement thatkeeping old friends is more important, but, meanwhile, I think there is no needfor us to find out which one is better or superior, and I hold a firm beliefthat we should pay equal attention to both of them.

First of all, as the old saying goes, afriend in need is a friend indeed. The number of friends may not matter. Thedeep friendship is the treasure that we should value all through our life. Friendsare those who share a lot of things in common with us like the same work,interest, experience and so on, so sometimes they know us even better than ourparents do, because a deep generation gap will probably impel you to expresssome feeling to your best friends instead of your parents, especially the oldfriends. That is how the importance of old friends comes. Since we have beenfriends for many years, they know exactly how to comfort and encourage you whenyou are in the bad mood. If you like sports, they will ask you to playbasketball with them; If you are obsession with music, they can spent a wholeday in KTV with you. The company and encouragement of your friends willabsolutely raise you up.

However, at the same time one may thinkthat what I mention above indicates that old friends are more important. Infact, good as keeping old friends is, it has its own shortcomings that onlykeep old friends will offer less changes and opportunities to our life, whichwe can benefit from making new friends. Imagine what kind of life you will liveif you only keep old friends---you will always do the same things at the sametime with the same person without any sense of freshness. For me, I prefer todie rather than live that kind of life, because it is too boring for a youngman who desire for excitement and changes like me. In addition to the enjoymentthat making new friends contains, new friends can also offer more opportunitiesfor us. Many cases of this kind happen in our daily life. After a fascinatingconversation with a mysterious man at the evening party, you may even get a jobor a chance to an interview from the new friend you just make, which will neveroccur to you if you only keep your old friends, so it will be understandablewhy making new friends is essential and full of benefits.

From what has been discussed above, wecold safely draw the conclusion that both keeping old friends and making newfriends are necessary and important. Only by combining these two ways can welive a joyful life.

兰香石竹UID: 2982851

9# shayh0917

Nowadays, a heat controversy on whetherit is important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends has been debated. According to a recent survey conducted by the social departmentof FuDan University, near 55 percent of people prefer keeping old friends. They believe that the quality of friends issuperior to the number of friends.However, there are around 45 percent ofpeople who prefer making new friends argue that making new friends will provideyou with more possibility and opportunities and will also fill your life withthe sense of freshness. From my point of view, I am against with statement thatkeeping old friends is more important, but, meanwhile, I think there is no needfor us to find out which one is better or superior, and I hold a firm beliefthat we should pay equal attention to both of them.（我觉得你第一段有点长，最好直接点题好点）

First of all, as the old saying goes, afriend in need is a friend indeed. The number of friends may not matter. Thedeep friendship is the treasure that we should value all through our life. Friendsare those who share a lot of things in common with us like the same work,interest, experience and so on, so sometimes they know us even better than ourparents do, because a deep generation gap will probably impel you to expresssome feeling to your best friends instead of your parents, especially the oldfriends. That is how the importance of old friends comes. Since we have beenfriends for many years, they know exactly how to comfort and encourage you whenyou are in the bad mood. If you like sports, they will ask you to playbasketball with them; If you are obsession（obsess） with music, they can spent a wholeday in KTV with you. The company and encouragement of your friends willabsolutely raise you up.

However, at the same time one may thinkthat what I mention above indicates that old friends are more important. Infact, good as keeping old friends is, it has its own shortcomings that onlykeep(ing) old friends will offer less changes and opportunities to our life, which(while)we can benefit from making new friends. Imagine what kind of life you will liveif you only keep old friends---you will always do the same things at the sametime with the same person without any sense of freshness. For me, I prefer todie(不明白) rather than live that kind of life, because it is too boring for a youngman who desire for excitement and changes like me. In addition to the enjoymentthat making new friends contains, new friends can also offer more opportunitiesfor us. Many cases of this kind happen in our daily life. After a fascinatingconversation with a mysterious man at the evening party, you may even get a jobor a chance to an interview from the new friend you just make, which will neveroccur to you if you only keep your old friends, so it will be understandablewhy making new friends is essential and full of benefits.+ b( q. q8 s% ^; D' _0 O$ P

From what has been discussed above, wecold （could）safely draw the conclusion that both keeping old friends and making newfriends are necessary and important. Only by combining these two ways can welive a joyful life.

我也5.12考试, 加油~~

shayh0917UID: 3289012

10# 兰香石竹
谢谢，一起加油！第一段太长了是嘛，下次注意。   后面那个是to die 中间忘记打空格了。。。。

秋雨荆州UID: 2903781

9# shayh0917

shayh0917UID: 3289012

12# 秋雨荆州
谢谢！ 今天注意要注意下开头的长度。

shayh0917UID: 3289012

In 20 years,there will be fewer cars in use than there are today.


A heated controversy on whether therewill be fewer cars in use after 20 years than there are today. Those whoadvocate argue that with the development of science and technology, cars willbe more affordable for them, but people who are against with that, on the otherhand, believe that both the awareness of the importance of protectingenvironment and the inventions of new kind of transportation will makecontributions to the fact that fewer car will be used. For me, my favordefinitely goes to the latter one.

It is true that the price of the cars isbecoming lower and lower due to the development of science and technology,which makes cars more affordable and cars absolutely simplify our life byshortening the long commute from our apartment to where we work and many otherways. What's more, cars sometimes are symbol of your Social status. Owning asupercar like Ferrari may be the dreams of many people.

Good as car is, it has its own drawback.First of all, the waste gas made by cars does harm to both the environment andthe health of human beings. According a recent research conducted by the WorldEnvironmental Organization, more than 50,000 people die each year because oftaking in too much waste gas from cars. What's more, as a result of people'sinclination to drive a car instead of walking, people get less opportunities toexercise, which leads to the problem that they will probably become so fat thatit may even endanger their lives. Therefore, it is the high time for us toreduce the usage of cars, since that will not only protect the environment butalso keep us fit. In fact, the vast majorities of peole have already realizedthese benefits and have developed preference for bike.

The second reason why I think the numberof cars will decrease is a new, efficient, and eco-friendly transportation willprobably show up in the future. It may look like aircraft and use electricityas energy. With the help of modern science and technology and the creativity ofhuman beings, everything could happen in the near future, even if it soundslike insane today.

From what have been discussed above, wecould safely draw a conclusion that the number of cars in use will descendabsolutely.

秋雨荆州UID: 2903781

A heated controversy on whether therewill be fewer cars in use after 20 years than there are today. Those whoadvocate argue that with the development of science and technology, cars willbe more affordable for them, but people who are against with that, on the otherhand, believe that both the awareness of the importance of protectingenvironment and the inventions of new kind of transportation will makecontributions to the fact that fewer car will be used. For me, my favordefinitely goes to the latter one.
第一句没有谓语。
against本身就是一个介词，表示反对不用后面再加with了，前面两篇都有这样的问题，再提醒一下。
倒数第二句还需要觉得稍微加工一下，两个连续的两个of处有点拗口。
It is true that the price of the cars isbecoming lower and lower due to the development of science and technology,which makes cars more affordable and cars absolutely simplify our life byshortening the long commute from our apartment to where we work and many otherways. What's more, cars sometimes are symbol of your Social status. Owning asupercar like Ferrari may be the dreams of many people.
本段的第一句最好拆成两句，more affordable开始这两句的句意开始有比较大的分离了，呆在一起不太合适。
Good as car is, it has its own drawback.First of all, the waste gas made by cars does harm to both the environment andthe health of human beings. According a recent research conducted by the WorldEnvironmental Organization, more than 50,000 people die each year because oftaking in too much waste gas from cars. What's more, as a result of people'sinclination to drive a car instead of walking, people get less opportunities toexercise, which leads to the problem that they will probably become so fat thatit may even endanger their lives. Therefore, it is the high time for us toreduce the usage of cars, since that will not only protect the environment butalso keep us fit. In fact, the vast majorities of peole have already realizedthese benefits and have developed preference for bike.
drawback复数
The second reason why I think the numberof cars will decrease is a new, efficient, and eco-friendly transportation willprobably show up in the future. It may look like aircraft and use electricityas energy. With the help of modern science and technology and the creativity ofhuman beings, everything could happen in the near future, even if it soundslike insane today.
这一段我觉得可以再加点内容，比如说化石燃料30年内即将用完，气候问题将促进各国限制汽车。传统汽车的淘汰和新型交通工具的出现将成为必然。等等等等。。。
From what have been discussed above, wecould safely draw a conclusion that the number of cars in use will descendabsolutely.

其实我觉得作者习惯于在第二段开始说一点自己论题反面的东西，这样是可以的，但是光这么一些还是稍显突兀。是不是可以在第一段给点铺垫，或者论点也提一下，改的稍微两面兼顾一下。改的匆忙，有些观点还请自己斟酌
14# shayh0917