[daily writing campus]oblivious作文训练

oblivious226UID：3258015

从今天开始上GTER来写作，欢迎大家拍砖1 所有帮我改的人必回改2 欢迎大家提意见，所有意见必回复由于等级不够，没法传附件，所以只能麻烦大家复制到word里了:)09年11月1日 JJ独立

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Does advice given by older people more valuable than form people at your age?
When it comes to the discussion that whether the advice given by older people is more valuable than that from the peers or not, the vast majority of people believe that individuals, especially the teens, should take older people's suggestions because seniors have rich experience and take all-rounded consideration. However, until recently a fresh idea about valuing the advice from peers is regarded as prevalent and righteous since this sort of people have a better understanding of the current world, which is changing constantly and quickly. Confronted with the contradictory, I prefer the latter opinion that advice from people your age is more worthwhile.

It is widely accepted that people at your age have open minds when compared to older people. They are so enthusiastic and eager to know about what is happening in the world that they absorb the latest information and put forward the most initiative ideas. As a modern people living in a changing environment, nothing is more valuable than the creative and critical thinking to tackle with the complicated and updated problems. Apparently, listening to your workmates and friends may be a resource to enlighten you and bring you inspiration. A good example of this can be best provided by Mark Zuckerberg, the initiator of Facebook, illuminated by his roommates to establish a communication platform for college students in Harvard within the campus, developing into the biggest web site aiming for social intercourse. On the contrary, pathetically many Chinese students, who always listen to seniors, obey to the lessons and never ever break the rules, ultimately follow the stereotype routine. Perhaps that is the reason why innovation is so hard to achieve in China.

Studies in a Chinese research have shown that the obedience to senior's instruction brings about a series of problems. It seems quite incredible that a surging number of teenagers couldn't get accustomed to the changing environment, what's worse, some of them are even unable to make choice on their own, in other words, they have to ask their parents for advice owing to the lack of independence. So why does it happen? Based on a survey, a majority of teenagers do everything their parents ask them to do and treat their parents' words as eternal truth. Nevertheless, the brutal truth is that nobody can be always right, not speaking of some out-dated parents who stay at home and are ignorant of what's happening outside the world. What shall we say, for example, so arrogant are some parents that they always argue that they are right and impose their thinking on the children. Sometimes children are subject to the wrong ideas unconsciously and they have no idea what they are going to do if things change just because they get used to execute the order from their parents.

Admittedly, listening to the advice from seniors has its undeniable merits. Yet it is too weak to support the objection to the value of advice from peers. There is no doubt that the advantage derived from peers' advice far outweigh the benefits we gain from seniors' one.

Despite some minor drawbacks, absorbing the opinions from peers, in contrast of ones from elders, is instrumental rather than detrimental to the one's career and life. With the inspiration of it, we have the promise both of creative thinking and marvelous breakthrough. It consequently will not fail to be wiser and safer choice and more often than not, we should take advice as broadly as we can, not merely from our friends but also our rivals.

yemingyu444UID：3290590

LZ你。。。。要连题目一起贴啊。。

oblivious226UID：3258015

2# yemingyu444 不好意思第一次写，已经改好了~~

oblivious226UID：3258015

JJ 09.11.21
Whether parentsshould give money to praise their child for high marks? Do you agree ordisagree with the following statement? Parents should give school-age childrenmoney for get a high mark they get in the school.

A mounting number ofparents incline to give the children at school age a reward, which is usuallymoney, to praise their good performance in the exam or school life. In responseto the phenomenon, I insist that it is improper to praise children with moneyfor the following reasons.

To begin with,awarding children with money constitutes a menace to their growth and mentalhealth. According to China Daily, there are a surging number of problems ofjuveniles owing to the wrong method of education adopted by parents. Leadingauthorities argue that awarding children with money is very likely to set upvalues deeply in their minds that they are receiving education for theirparents, not for themselves, so they take it for granted that they deserve tohave the rewards. What's worse, once the parents stop paying, they will dropout of school without realizing that it is their obligation to go to school andreceive compulsory education.

Secondly, sincechildren are too young to distinguish right and wrong, money they gain fromparents may spend on the entertainment, which has a bad influence on theirstudy and life. This can be best demonstrated by the example of JiaJunpeng, a Chinesepupil, who is addicted to online game and drop from school. What surprises memost is that the original reason he stepped into cyberspace happens to be thecuriosity to take a fresh look outside his world with the extra money awardedby his parents. If his parents took the right way to praise him like a greatmeal, a toy or even just a compliment, then the tragedy wouldn't happen.

The last but not theleast, the way parents to encourage their children to make efforts may affectother ones. Suppose that two boys are friends and both of them get straight Ain the final exam. One of them gets a lot of money while the other is onlypraised orally by his parents. Then what will happen? Definitely the boy whodidn't get the reward will be depressed and may think he got an unfairtreatment. Things like this accumulate with years and consequently lead togeneration gap. Perhaps that is one of the factors contributing to themisunderstanding between parents and children.

All in all, it is a detrimentalrather than instrumental way to praise children with money for a high mark. Asparents in my view, they should put forwards methods to compliment thechildren's achievement at school reasonably, and then children will have thepromise both of intellectual riches and righteous values. At this point, Istrongly recommend parents make wiser and safer choices other than materialrewards.

oblivious226UID：3258015

虽然没人帮我改，还是要继续写的~~

Do you agree ordisagree with the following statement? A teacher's ability to relate well withstudents is more important than excellent knowledge of the subject beingtaught. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Socially speaking, ithas lead a hot discussion that whether a teacher's ability to relate well withstudents weigh against the excellent knowledge of the subject being taught.There hasn't reached an agreement in the public. It is widely believed in Chinathat the knowledge itself should be put in the first place, while thewesterners hold a distinct view and argue that it is teachers that playing thekey role in the education process. As far as I am concerned, making a goodrelationship with students is of greater importance and will contribute to thebetter understanding of knowledge.

Studies has shownthat a pleasant atmosphere definitely promote learning abilities and make iteasier to deepen the comprehension of relevant knowledge in the daily life,which builds a bridge between theory and practice. And teacher's attitudetowards students and the relationships between them actually do matter to theconcord learning environment. It is common that students seldom gettingattention from teachers are more likely to show least enthusiastic in thestudy. What's worse is that some of them drop from school since teachers failto relate well with them, making them tied of studying at school. That's thereason why a surging number of educators appeal 'education with care'.Unfortunately, hardly have the policy makers realized the urgency of this problem,but effective measure ought to be taken before the situation deteriorates.

To be clear, the argumentsabove don't indicate excellent knowledge being taught is of no value. On thecontrary, the teaching process is based on the knowledge spontaneously. However,comparing to the former statement, knowledge is inferior, especially for thosekids who are lack of caress from parents and have obstruction in makingfriends. It is very likely to abandon themselves and fail to a miserable life.A classmate of mine in the middle school, a straight A student, whose parentsgot divorces then and scarcely paid attention to her, hit a slump afterwards.Because score is superior to the student himself in the teacher's mind, sheblamed instead of encouraging and tutoring her. Consequently, she hung out withsome rascals and drop from school eventually.

At this point,conclusion can be made that teachers’ good relation with students is superiorto the knowledge itself in school life. With the harmonious and happy learningatmosphere, students have the promise both of intellectual riches and metalhealth. So relating well with students will not fail to be wiser and saferchoice, and more often than not, the teachers should be sincere and treat thestudents at an equal basis as possible as they can.

kantongUID：3290098

已改

oblivious226UID：3258015

kontong童鞋对于我文章结构的建议非常好，第四段确实没有说清楚，故作修改
JJ 09.11.21
Whether parentsshould give money to praise their child for high marks? Do you agree ordisagree with the following statement? Parents should give school-age childrenmoney for get a high mark they get in the school.

A mounting number ofparents incline to give the children at school age a reward, which is usuallymoney, to praise their good performance in the exam or school life. In responseto the phenomenon, I insist that it is improper to praise children with moneyfor the following reasons.

To begin with,awarding children with money constitutes a menace to their growth and mentalhealth. According to a survey conducted by ChinaDaily, there are a surging number of problems of juveniles owing to the wrongmethod of education adopted by parents. Educationalexperts argue that awarding children with money is very likely to set upvalues deeply in their minds that they are receiving education for theirparents, not for themselves, so they take it for granted that they deserve tohave the rewards. What's worse, once the parents stop paying, they will show no interests in study and some of them might not resistto the temptation of some improper activities, which lead them to a wrong pathto the future. After all, without realizing that it is their obligationto go to school and receive compulsory education,students will easily get confused with who they study for and why they go toschool.

Secondly, sincechildren are too young to distinguish right and wrong, money they gain fromparents may spend on the entertainment, which has a bad influence on theirstudy and life. This can be best demonstrated by the example of JiaJunpeng, a Chinesepupil, who is addicted to online game and drop from school. What surprises memost is that the original reason he stepped into cyberspace happened to be the curiosity to take a fresh lookoutside his world with the extra money awarded by his parents. If his parentstook the right way to praise him like a great meal, a toy or even just acompliment, then the tragedy wouldn't happen.

The last but not theleast, the way parents take to encourage theirchildren to make efforts may affect other ones. Suppose that two boys arefriends and both of them get straight A in the final exam. One of them gets alot of money while the other is only praised orally by his parents. Then whatwill happen? Definitely the boy who didn't get the reward will be depressed andmay think he got an unfair treatment. Things like this accumulate with yearsand consequently lead to misunderstandings withinfamilies. Therefore, it is natural to reach theconclusion that different options made by parents from different families may hurtkid’s feeling and cause family relationships intense.

All in all, it is a detrimentalrather than instrumental way to praise children with money for a high mark. Asparents in my view, they should put forwards methods to compliment thechildren's achievement at school reasonably, and then children will have thepromise both of intellectual riches and righteous values. At this point, Istrongly recommend parents make wiser and safer choices other than materialrewards.

oblivious226UID：3258015

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Good looks anddresses are more important for success than good ideas.

When asked about the key to success, the overwhelming majority ofpeople contend that good looks and dresses play an important role in the way tomake a great achievement in one's career, but I look at it at a differentangle. Living in a constantly changing environment and facing fiercecompetition, I am deeply impressed that the effective and ultimate way tosucceed is the ability to put forwards good ideas.

Based on a business survey, the available statistics demonstrate that anemployee, who has a creative thinking and dare take initiative with greatideas, is highly evaluated and get promoted quickly. Conspicuously, companyespecially Multinational Corporation values the faculties' ability to proposenew ideas and make innovations, which is the resource where they gain the powerto occupy leading positions in the competition. This can be verified by theexample
of Steven Jobs, a excellent CEOof Apple, often made his endeavor to bring forth new ideas and turn them intoreality without hesitation. He is highly praised for his creative thinking andcourage to make the ideas true. However, a great person like him had never everdress delicately in the work life. And probably it is a waste of time to gethimself dressed carefully, but it hardly had been an obstacle to his way to success.

Nevertheless, a fair proportion of people make a seemly compellingreason that good looks and dresses is indeed of greater importance than goodideas when one tries to achieve success. Dressing properly in a job interviewis frequently cited as a common example to prove their argument. Admittedly,good looks and dresses does have its undeniable merits, as the exampleillustrates, it will make a good first impression on the interviewer and get abetter chance to be employed. But the brutal reality should remind us that thegood days have gone when people with good looking are easy to stay in theposition because of the lack of competition. Nothing can be more apparent thanthe evidence that job hunters with higher degree and more qualifications areeverywhere and compete with each other fiercely for one vocation. Only goodlooking cannot ensure you a decent job and satisfied salary, that is to say, superiorswill never think highly of you until you have the intrinsic and indispensable valueto the company—that is good ideas.

Conclusion can be drawn that the advantage derived from good ideascarry more weight than the benefits we gain from good looks and dresses. Fortunately,with the dispersal of good ideas, we have the promise both of self-improvementand intellectual riches. So fostering the ability to raise good ideas will notfail to be a wiser and safer choice, and more often than not, we should take agreat emphasize on it as possible as we can.

Word Count:479

ilovevickyUID：2937658

8# oblivious226
When asked about the key to success, the overwhelming majority of people contend that good looks and dresses play an important role in the way to make a great achievement in one's career, but I look at it at a different angle. Living in a constantly changing environment and facing fierce competition, I am deeply impressed that the effective and ultimate way to success succeed is the ability to put forwards good ideas.
楼主用词非常有多样性~~~值得学习哦~~~
) [2 s( G8 t( a8 f' \& y5 U( P6 k  h4 O+ C. h3 h# |! `
Based on a business survey, the available statistics demonstrate that an employee, who has a creative thinking and dare take initiative with great ideas, is highly evaluated and get promoted quickly. Conspicuously, company especially Multinational Corporation values the faculties' ability to propose new ideas and make innovations, which is the resource where they gain the power to occupy leading positions in the competition. This can be verified by the example
8 q" k+ P" K/ W# z  L( Qof Steven Jobs, a excellent CEOof Apple, often made his endeavor to bring forth new ideas and turn them into reality without hesitation. He is highly praised for his creative thinking and courage to make the ideas true. However, a great person like him had never ever 用词有些绝对化，可以用seldom dress delicately in the work life. And probably it is a waste of time to get himself dressed carefully, but it 指代不明，我知道你这句话的意思是穿的零乱不是成功的障碍~~~~但你这里明显指代的是“get himself dressed carefully ” hardly had been an obstacle to his way to success.1 j# C% Y* w" K( j- o
6 h, H- D$ H1 c. |1 M
Nevertheless, a fair proportion of people make a seemly compelling reason that good looks and dresses is indeed of greater importance than goodideas when one tries to achieve success. Dressing properly in a job interviewis frequently cited as a common example to prove their argument. Admittedly,good looks and dresses does have its undeniable merits, as the example illustrates, it will make a good first impression on the interviewer and get a better chance to be employed. But the brutal reality should remind us that thegood days have gone when people with good looking are easy to stay in the position because of the lack of competition. Nothing can be more apparent than the evidence that job hunters with higher degree and more qualifications areeverywhere and compete with each other fiercely for one vocation. Only goodlooking cannot ensure you a decent job and satisfied salary, that is to say, superiorswill never think highly of you until you have the intrinsic and indispensable value to the company—that is good ideas.
9 {' q0 o$ I! T$ O1 A 这段写得很不错！！！
/ r6 A" K1 _$ P7 v) ?4 TConclusion can be drawn that the advantage derived from good ideas carry more weight than the benefits we gain from good looks and dresses. Fortunately,with the dispersal of good ideas, we have the promise both of self-improvement and intellectual riches. So fostering the ability to raise good ideas will not fail to be a wiser and safer choice, and more often than not, we should take agreat emphasize on it as possible as we can.
楼主整个结构不错，观点也明确。尤其是语言，是我非常欣赏的具有多变性，可以教教我怎么不总是用important 这种低级词汇咩？欢迎回改~~~~https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/thread-1343517-3-1.html 谢谢楼主了~~~~

oblivious226UID：3258015

采纳ilovevicky和秋雨荆州的建议，修改如下

秋雨荆州UID：2903781

8# oblivious226

oblivious226UID：3258015

11# 秋雨荆州 没有找到你的作文，所以没办法回改了，可以回复我地址哦，一起进步，加油~~

oblivious226UID：3258015

4.24 独立作业

oblivious226UID：3258015

4.25 独立作业

oblivious226UID：3258015

唉，第一次计时写，感觉写的好差啊