issue207 仪式与文化的那道，的确不好些，大家帮我看看吧！

happyman2000UID: 136936

Issue 207 "Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are."

Admittedly it is true that rituals and ceremonies play an important role in defining a culture, but one should not place too much emphasis on this function of rituals and ceremonies. How strong people have a sense of who they are, in the nature of culture, primarily depends on the intrinsic content of that culture, rather than its ostensible symbols. And with the advancement of modern society, rituals and ceremonies are rapidly fading away from the vision of modern life.

Rituals and ceremonies, as a representation or symbol of a particular culture, can partly reveal the internal essences in that culture and thus help people appreciate and identify with the culture. In this sense, one can claim that rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. However, what the essence of the culture is and whether people are inclined to identify with the culture are mainly contingent on the intrinsic content of that culture, having no direct relationship to the symbols—rituals and ceremonies. What a Christian believes in is not the religious rituals of Christianism, but its values and gospels. No one would really convert him/herself to a certain religion or belief with which values and gospels he/she would not like to identify, no matter what grandeur the rituals may be of. Therefore, people’s idea of a culture and of themselves is principally determined by the content of the culture; rituals and ceremonies can play a very limited role.

Moreover, sometimes rituals and ceremonies can even serve as a distorted representation of people’s authentic thoughts about the culture. In the totalitarian states or in the religion-dominated countries, the North Korean and Iran for examples, rituals and ceremonies are primarily used as the instruments to rule their people. Whether people would like to commit themselves to the legitimate rituals and ceremonies represents whether they would like to conform to the some people’s governance. On this situation, the role of the rituals and ceremonies in divulging the culture is seriously distorted: one could not see the true idea of people to the culture because people are forced to comply with the rituals and ceremonies.

Besides its limited role in revealing the internal essences in the culture, rituals and ceremonies also witness their ever-increasingly rapid disappearance from the vision of modern life. It is primarily through the power of morality, conventions, and social norms that rituals and ceremonies can take effect in defining the culture and individuals. However, as people today gradually lose their conventional faith in morality, conventions and social norms, obviously rituals and ceremonies could no longer maintain a role as important as before; the modern society must turns to laws or other compulsory forces to define individuals and regulate their behaviors. In the past, for example, the wedding ceremony was the solitary form to determine marriage and only through the wedding can people be identified as wife or husband. But nowadays, registry has become the only legitimate form in many countries to marriage and as a result, many people tend to overshadow the role of the wedding ceremony and some of them even marriage with no wedding. Likewise, people or groups today always establish their cooperating relationship by substituting formal contracts for some mysterious rituals in the past, such as drinking alcohol of blood in ancient China.

To sum up, rituals and ceremonies simply serve as a symbol of any culture and with the progress of modern society, their role in defining the culture and individuals has become far less important as many people believe, so there is no justification to say that without rituals and ceremonies, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are.  (610 words)

4testsi3monthsUID: 140079

写的真好！给我很多启示。
每次看见文化，宗教的题目总是一点想法也没有。
你定时能写那么多？
我考好的同学说在考场上她只知道要不停的写，至於写了什么都是不重要了。

还有一个问题，到数第二段最后那个drink alcohol of blood
什么意思阿？

总体觉得你的语言变换很多，思路很清楚的！！
崇拜阿！！！

happyman2000UID: 136936

我花了两个小时，比这个坛子里的许多高人比起来，差得实在是太远！

drink alcohol of blood， 我想表达的是歃血为盟，喝血酒。翻译得很蹩脚，各位高人有何意见？

imongUID: 140258

总体来说相当好，最近zt和木耳一直在贡献范文啊

feier521UID: 109747

对啊，zhuzhu简直就是一部百科全书，每一篇都有很多的DD，语言和思路。

happyman2000UID: 136936

我这篇文章还是感觉写得不大好，各位能否多提点负面意见？

木耳UID: 123036

文章我就不说了，确实非常不错。但是时间确实有些长了。你是九月末考吧？建议你从现在开始限时，限时写的感觉很不一样的，很多时候只能是想到什么写什么，没有思考和斟酌的余地。

happyman2000UID: 136936

我的确得考虑限时了！在这样下去，我肯定完蛋！

screwUID: 135321

Issue 207 "Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are."

Admittedly （admittedly似乎多余了）it is true that rituals and ceremonies play an important role in defining a culture, but one should not place too much emphasis on this function（what function呢？） of rituals and ceremonies. How strong people have a sense of who they are, in the nature of culture, primarily depends on the intrinsic content of that culture, rather than its ostensible symbols. And with the advancement of modern society, rituals and ceremonies are rapidly fading away from the vision of modern life.

Rituals and ceremonies, as a representation or symbol of a particular culture, can partly reveal the internal essences in that culture and thus help people appreciate and identify with the culture. In this sense, one can claim that rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. However, what the essence of the culture is and whether people are inclined to identify with the culture are mainly contingent on the intrinsic content of that culture, having no direct relationship to the symbols—rituals and ceremonies. What a Christian believes in is not the religious rituals of Christianism, but its values and gospels. No one would really convert him/herself to a certain religion or belief with which（which应可省略） values and gospels he/she would not like to identify, no matter what grandeur the rituals may be of. Therefore, people’s idea of a culture and of themselves is principally determined by the content of the culture; rituals and ceremonies can play a very limited role.（what is the content of a culture? I think it should be identified or you should clearly demonstrate the difference, as you thought, between rituals and the content of a culture. In my view, I think rituals is part of culture’s content.）

Moreover, sometimes rituals and ceremonies can even serve as a distorted representation of people’s authentic thoughts about the culture. In the totalitarian states or in the religion-dominated countries, the North Korean and Iran for examples, rituals and ceremonies are primarily used as the instruments to rule their people. Whether people would like to commit themselves to the legitimate rituals and ceremonies represents whether they would like to conform to the some people’s governance. （Whether people would like to commit themselves to the legitimate rituals and ceremonies seems like some kind of examination which assesses their political standpoint. 不知这样写好不好？降样就不会有两个whether了，个人意见啦 ：D）On this situation, the role of the rituals and ceremonies in divulging the culture（揭露文化的什么呢?） is seriously distorted: one could not see the true idea of people to the culture because people are forced to comply with the rituals and ceremonies.

Besides its limited role in revealing the internal essences in the culture,（这里好象直接写Besides就好了） rituals and ceremonies also witness their ever-increasingly rapid disappearance from the vision of modern life. It is primarily through the power of morality, conventions, and social norms that rituals and ceremonies can take effect in defining the culture and individuals. However, as people today gradually lose their conventional （traditional）faith in morality, conventions and social norms, obviously rituals and ceremonies could no longer maintain a role as important as before; the modern society must turns（turn） to laws or other compulsory forces to define individuals（laws可以define oneself吗?）and regulate their behaviors. In the past, for example, the wedding ceremony was the solitary form to determine marriage and only through the wedding can people be identified as wife or husband. But nowadays, registry has become the only legitimate form in many（most） countries to marriage and as a result, many people tend to overshadow the role of the wedding ceremony and some of them even marriage with no wedding.（and even some couples marry without weeding rituals.） Likewise, people or groups today always establish their cooperating relationship by substituting formal contracts for some mysterious rituals in the past, such as drinking alcohol of blood in ancient China. （substitute for这样用好象不大顺说，一般感觉是A substitute for B，若写成这样establish their cooperating relationship mainly through formal contracts rather than some ancient mysterious rituals like drinking blood alcohol in China. 不知道会不会好些？）

To sum up, rituals and ceremonies simply serve as a symbol of any culture and（这里用and来连接不如用however） with the progress of modern society, their role in defining the culture and individuals has become far less important as many people believe, so there is no justification to say that without rituals and ceremonies, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are. (610 words)


菜鸟来修改，请happy猪猪见谅啰…:D

雨&彩虹UID: 132532

第二段的问题。你一直在反复说INTERNAL ESSENCE，但是却没有对这个定义范围加以说明。所以论证起来感觉累赘反复。

其他部分很不错：）例子贴切。这篇文章其实很难写的。歃血为盟不会那样说的，会有歧义。你可以不用短语，而用一个句子解释一下，

猪猪的头像最可爱。

happyman2000UID: 136936

screw和rainbow的评改真是好极了！ 你们指出的问题的确存在，而且很严重。多谢！

imongUID: 140258

screw回来了
好啊好啊